I don't wanna lose you
by AnetteBP
Summary: Frank is a 16 year old boy who has lost everything important in his life. Can someone come and pick up the pieces and glue them together again? A frikey, Frank and Mikey
1. Prolouge

***Title: **I don't wanna lose you

***Rating: **18+ (sex, bad language, violence)

***Main Characters: **Gerard, Frank, Mikey, Ray and Bob

***Summary: **Frank has lost everything, he feels alone in the world. No friends and parents. He want's to run away from the world. Can somebody save him?

***Genre: **Drama

***Chapter Index:**

Page 1 - **Prologue**

**Prologue**

Raindrops where poring down my face.

It blended so nicely in with the tears that where now rolling down my cheeks and down in the dirt. My shoulder-length dark brown hair was plastered to my face. The raindrops were so heavy, it felt more as someone was throwing water balloons on me. And I couldn't do a thing, I was stuck here, all alone. And it felt awful, being alone. If I died now, would anyone care? My parents where gone, they died in that stupid car crash. Because of one asshole of a truck driver decided to drink and do drugs BEFORE he started on his 10 hour shift. Great..

I was heartbroken. And I had nowhere to go, no grandparents, no aunts or uncles, no family. I didn't even have friends. I was an outcast, a freak. Kids can be so mean.

And if you also take into consideration that I live in New Jersey, well, welcome to my life ..

I'm Frank Iero, friendless, parentless, and soon to be, homeless. I didn't know what to do anymore. I had so many emotions inside myself, that it felt as though I was gonna blow up. I swear to god that my head is gonna explode and fall of soon. I needed a break from the reality, I needed something. Just to let the pain go away. That was why I was siting in this park, one of the most heavy criminal park in this part of Jersey. And the one with the most drug dealers as well. I had the money, now I just had to wait. I was just going to get some painkillers, I just wanted to feel a bit high. That's all. No cocaine or any other of that shit. Just painkillers.

That was when I saw him, he looked like the perfect guy to shop those things from. Small guy with short brown hair. He was even shorter than me, and that's something, since I'm barely 5'4. I went over to him in one swift motion. He looked at me with strange blue eyes.

''What do you want?'' He spoke with a high pitch voice.

''Do you sell anything?'' I suddenly got nervous. I had never done something like this before.

''Like what?'' The guy was slightly rocking on his toes, to make him look taller.

''Pills maybe?''

''Are you a cop, you look young, but how do I know your not a cop. I haven't seen you here before." He was clearly skeptic. But I wasn't going to give up that easily.

''Hey man, just listen up. I just need some painkillers. I can pay you good for it, and I'm not a cop. I just had a really shitty day, and I just want something to get my mind off of things. So, do you have something for me, or do I need to find another dude who want's to sell me something.'' I made my point clear by raising my eyebrow. Frank Iero can stand up for himself, I could be a badass guy if it's necessary. The smaller guy searched his pocket. I started to smile, he had gotten the point.

''I don't have painkillers, but is xanax good?'' He showed me some white pills, they where almost egg-shaped. I knew what they were. It was something you got when you had anxiety and panic attacks.

''Yea, sure. How much?''

''50.'' He looked at me with a curious look.

I handed him the 50 dollar bill. He gave me the pills.

''If you want a fast effect, crush and snort the pills. If not, swallow them.'' He then turned and left me, alone, in the rain. I knew what I had to do. I swallowed two of the pills and sat back down on the bench.


	2. Misery

**Kitty: **Thank you so much! I have written 26 chapters to this story so far :) Hope you like this next chapter!

**Frank's POV.**

**Chapter one - Misery**

I was cold, so cold that it hurt to move my body. I tried to open my eyes, but the light was so bright. Oh, wait, or was it the sun? Am I outside?

My head was so full of thoughts, it felt like a balloon, just expanding until it exploded and all of my thoughts would just be blown away by the wind. I kept my eyes closed, just tried to feel with my other senses. I could hear the birds singing. Maybe they were singing for me. I didn't know, and I really didn't care at the moment. All I could hear was the song of hope coming from the birds in the tree above me. I felt the bench with my hands, it felt rough. I nearly got a splinter in my finger from it. And the smell, it smelt clean and fresh. The rain had done something good. But unfortunately not to me, I started to shiver by the small breeze that went over my body. Feeling the cold spring air around me. I needed to get up, now. I opened my eyes and let them adjust to the bright light that was coming from the sun. My head started to spin. I slowly put my feet on the ground and stood up. Taking one step at a time, I made it to my house. I let myself in and fell onto the couch.

''I'm never going to take pills again.'' I had to say it out loud. Just to clarify my point. My head was hurting and my body were aching. This is so not fun at all. I wish my mom was here to take care of me. I wish my dad was here to yell at me. I knew exactly what he would have said.

''Frank Anthony Iero, I'm so disappointed in you. What were you thinking? I will never see you in a state like this ever again. You hear me? Now, go too your room. You are grounded for at least a month.'' I had to smile, he was a tough parent, but I knew he just wanted whats best for me. My mom would come up to my room and talk to me in that sweet and comfy tone only a mom could use when her son had done something stupid. I felt my eyes watering, they were gone and there was nothing I could do about it. My head felt sleepy and my eyes started to close. I wanted to sleep, and so I did.

''Hey you, we have been looking for you all night and day.'' Someone had a nice and sweet voice, soothing. I opened my eyes and saw a women there along with two cops. There faces was filled with worry and relief.

''I'm so glad we found you, we got so scared when you run away.'' Of course, it was the women from the child welfare. After she came to my house yesterday and told me that my parents were dead, I had to get out from there. So I ran to the park. I was just 16 and underage, so since I didn't have any relatives, I had to go into foster care or adoption. I wasn't to fond of that subject. I had a house and my mom and dad had left me a good deal of money, so I didn't see the need to have someone take care of me. I could take care of myself. And that was what I told the women.

''I know how you feel, I know it's not easy losing your parents and then lose your home and move to a different place, but its all for your best interest. So I have to ask you to pack the stuff you want to bring with you and then we have to go.''

I slowly went upstairs to my room. I found my bag and started to look around. It had been my place for 16 years. It had grown to be a part of me, my identity. I was so afraid that I would lose not only my home, but also myself when I left. It was tough taking things out of the drawers and throw them in the bag. I didn't have much, I had always been sticking to myself. My mom and dad had been working as doctors, so they would always work long shifts, so I was home alone a lot. But I liked it that way, I got to watch a lot of horror movies. And I could play music so loud, through the stereo or with my guitar. Oh, my guitar, I had to have her with me. Pansy, the gorgeous white guitar. She was my best friend. I know it's weird to name your guitar and to be best friends with it, but she meant the world to me.

I picked up my bag and headed downstairs. I stopped when I came to the bottom and just looked around. A single tear formed and ran down my cheek. This was so not happening, it was a fucking nightmare. I felt my arms and legs grow weaker, I had to sit down. I couldn't do this. I felt myself been dragged out to a car, numbness was taking over my body. The car started moving and I left my home. Heading to another home, I didn't know where we were going. Just that this was the start of a new chapter.

And I didn't know what to expect..


	3. A second chance

**Hope you enjoy this next chapter :) I promise, there is gonna be so much fluff in this story. Just have some patience, and it will come soon! :)**

**Chapter two - A second chance**

I had gotten straight into a new family. A mom, a dad and two kids at the age of 12 and 16, both boys. It was a stable family, full of love and concern. Just like my family had been. Gosh, I missed my parents so much. It had been three weeks and I would still cry myself to sleep. I had to share a room with the oldest boy, Mark. He was very fun to be around, always energetic and he was so kind to his younger brother, Chris. They were the perfect family by all means, and I was really lucky to have them in my life. I just wished that I could have meet them under other circumstances.

Even though I had the family Reed in my life now, it was hard not to be feeling alone sometimes. I didn't knew the Reeds that well and it was weird and hard to try to catch up with all the information about their other relatives and friends. I tried to involve myself in the family, tried to make their home feel more like my home as well. But it was tough and too much to handle, at least for now. The Reed family lived in Belleville, a couple of miles away from my previous home. I was happy that I didn't have to move that far away, but I still had to change school. I wasn't to sad about that, I had none friends at my other school, so I looked forward to start from the beginning again. It felt as I had gotten a second chance.

I heard someone giggle from behind me. I turned around to see Mark with a toothbrush in his month. I smiled at him.

"What are you laughing at?" I knew what he was laughing at. Me and my attempt to find my schoolbag. Which was resulting in me nearly on my head down in some boxes. After that night when that women and the two cops came and got me, Patricia, Mark's mom and I, had drove back to my old house to pack some more of my stuff. So I now had four big boxes of my stuff into Mark's small bedroom.

"I'm laughing at you, you are always so funny." He gave me one of his smirks as the walked out of the bedroom to finish of his teeth.

"Aha! Found it!" It had been so long since I had used my favorite bag of all times. My black flag bag. My favorite band of all times. I packed my bag and took a last look at myself in the mirror. Luckily the school didn't have any uniforms, so I was dressed in a tight pair of black pants, some random black shirt with the lyric "I don't care" and since it was just early spring, a blue denim jacket. I had thought about cutting my hair some while now, it was too long and bangs of it started to fall down into my eyes.

"Hurry up you, we have to go!" Mark was looking at me through the door.

"Coming." I picked up my bag and went downstairs after Mark. Patricia was standing at the door to say goodbye to us. Mark went over and kissed her on the cheek.

"Bye mom, love you." She smiled that motherly smile and kissed him back.

"Love you too, honey." I felt a bit awkward standing in the background. I had put on my red converse, and was heading at the direction of the door. Patricia then turned her big blue eyes towards me, they were filled with confident and love. I just had to smile.

"Come here you." She stretch her arms and invited me in for a hug. I gladly excepted and she wrapped her arms around me.

"I love you too, you know that. Even though you are not my flesh and blood, you are my son in every way you want to be. If there is anything wrong, just call me. I'll be working from home today, so I'm available at any moment." She let me go, but kept her hands on my shoulder and looked me deep in the eyes. My smile grew wider.

"I will." I tried to show her that I really cared about her, through my eyes. I wasn't quite ready to say it out loud yet. It was too soon after my parents death, then I would just feel guilty and felt like I had been betraying them. We said good bye and Mark and I left for school.

Belleville High School was in a walking distance from our house. The school wasn't as big as the one in Newark, but I was glad. I hoped to make some friends, I knew that Mark had some friends, but I had never met them before. He had asked me if I wanted to hang out with them, but to be introduced to some new faces at that time in my life, I just didn't feel like it. I kind of regretted that right now. But I had Mark at my side, and I could always say hi to his friends now.

"I know it can be tough to start out in a new school when the year is almost over, but it's a good school with good kids. Just be yourself, you are an awesome person, and I know that my friends will love you." He gave me a quit, confident smile before he entered the classroom. I had got my schedule from Mark last week, so I could prepare myself for the first day. I knew I had been falling a bit behind at school, but I was a good student and if I just kept my concentration up, I knew I would do well. Mark sat down at one of the desks right next to the window. He pointed at the one behind him and made a motion with his hand at me. I went over and sat down. I saw that Mark started to talk with this one guy, he was sitting on his right side, just one desk away. He had blue denim pants and a green t-shirt on. He had blond hair, and when he turned around and smiled at me, I saw that he had the bluest eyes I had ever seen. We managed to say hi to each other, before our teacher came in.

Our first class was science with Mrs. Devonsky. She was from russia and had an accent. I soon learned that she was a pretty awesome teacher. Everyone called her Mrs. D, and she let us do a lot of experiments. I was used to good, old Mr. Lenny, who made us read and read and read, all the time. This was so much more fun than reading! We worked in groups, and I soon got to know Bob, the blond haired guy with the blue eyes. He was very easy and outgoing.

"Wait, no, don't put that in there!" I was terrified.

"What?" Bob had concentration put all over his face, his tongue poking out at the side of his mouth. He was holding a glass with a blu liquid and was about to put in in the other glass that had some sort of pink liquid in it.

"Hm, yeah, Bob, I have a feeling that this is gonna end bad." Mark didn't appreciate what Bob was trying to pull of. Luckily the bell rang.

"Time for lunch!" Bob had a disappointed face when he cleaned up the glass we had used. I was kind of relieved. I had survived, and I had made a new friend in Bob. I was overexcited as we went over to the canteen.

It was really big, and even had a stage at one of the short walls. There weren't a lot of kids there though.

"The other kids is eating outside because of the nice weather, but I thought you wanted to see the canteen. So we can just eat here?" Mark looked over too me and smiled. I nodded back to him and went over to one of the tables.

"What? Just cheese and salad? Are you mad, man?" Bob had a terrified look on his face, like he had seen a ghost.

"Chill out dude, I'm a vegetarian." I had to laugh at that face of his. Bob got even more shocked and started to mumble.

"So, you don't eat meat at all? Wow, that's gotta be tough." He had a more impressed look at his face now.

"I know it's probably stupid and all, but I have heard of so many animals that suffer during slaughter, so every time I see some type of meat I get this image in my head. I see the animal alive and I just can't eat it when I know how some are being treated."

"Oh wow, you nearly turned me into a vegetarian. That was some deep stuff." Bob looked down on his sandwich with ham and cheese. Mark just laughed at him.

My eyes started to wander around the room. And that was when I saw him.

"Who's that?" This skinny boy sitting alone at one of the tables, he was reading some sort of comic and was more into that then actually eating. He had his earphones plugged in and it looked as though he was in another universe.

"oh, I don't actually know. He always sits alone, well after his brother and his friend graduated two years ago. I have tried to talk to him, but he seems very shy. " There was something about him, the way his glasses slightly fell down on his nose, and he had to push them up again every 10 seconds. The way his knees touched under the table. I had to choke a little laughter, he had such awkward knees! He had tight black pants on, and a KISS t-shirt. Epic. And the way his eyes looked straight at me. Oh, hold on a minute. He was actually looking back at me with curious eyes. Our eyes connected for a few seconds before we both looked away at the same time. Weird, it feels as though I have known that kid my hole life. I had to talk to him. I stood up from the bench we were sitting at.

"Guys, I'll be right back. I'm just gonna go over and.." The bell rang. I looked over to the table were the kid where sitting. He was gone. Shit. Oh well, its just march. I have over two months to get to know this guy, and I'm not gonna give up. There was something special with him and I felt a tangling sensation go through my body. I just had a feeling that we could become very close friends at one point. Well, I hoped we could.


	4. Sink or swim

**Chapter three - Sink or swim?**

I couldn't believe how fast the school day went by. We had music in the last class for the day, a guitar lesson. I had played guitar since I was three, and it was so much fun to be able to play for the class and really prove to myself that I could do something in life. My teacher, Mr. Brown, said that I should bring my guitar the next time. I was thrilled! So I now sat in the basement rehearsing. It was so nice and comforting to feel Pansy's body next to mine again. She was special to me, and it had been to long since we had some private time together. I had to laugh out loud when the thought raced through my head. People would think I was crazy, thinking about a guitar like that. But it wasn't a guitar, it was Pansy.

I had been playing for about 2 hours when Paul, the dad in the house, came down. I was in the middle of one song by misfit, so I couldn't hear him at first.

"Wow, Frank. You're great!" I turned around and saw a big smile on his face.

"Thank you." I had too look down, I was a bit embarrassed that he had heard AND seen me. I can be pretty crazy rocking the guitar. I once broke my moms lamp, a big one. It was standing on the floor in the living room and I kind of tried to do this trick. I was spinning around and hit the lamp. She was so mad after that, I got grounded for two weeks, and weren't aloud to play the guitar for weeks.

"I'm serious Frank, I haven't heard a young kid like you play something like that before. Have you ever thought about a career in music?" The question was not unfamiliar to me. I had thought about that for a long time, but hadn't had the guts to tell someone.

"Yeah, I have actually thought about it. To start a band really. But I kind of don't know any musicians, so it has been a bit hard to start a band on my own." I bit my lower lip and looked up. I had never told anyone about that.

"Well, how about you write a note and you can put it up in your school?" Paul still had that big smirk of his plastered on his face, along with a big set of green and excited eyes.

"I don't really know.." Suddenly my socks seemed very interesting and I started to pick on my guitar that was hanging around my neck.

"Oh, come on. If you want something in life you have to try. Just give it a go, and if it doesn't work out, at least you have tried, right?" He didn't gave me a chance to either speak or think, before he continued. He put his arm around my shoulders and started to wave around with the other. He was so full of energy, and I started to giggle.

"Do you know what my motto is?" I shrugged my shoulders and looked at him with curiosity.

"I'd rather sink than never swim." He smiled. "Dinners ready." And with that he turned around and went upstairs.

"I'd rather sink than never swim." The sentence was stuck in my head. I was analyzing it while we ate dinner. And it was so true. I don't wanna live my life like everyone want's me to live it. Get a safe education, so I know that I can get a job and survive. Get a wife, a house, a few kids and a family volvo. No, that wasn't me. Of course I wanted kids someday, and I kind of like volvo, but to work at an office for the rest of my life… I got goosebumps by just the thought of it. Sitting the rest of your working life inside and do something so boring. I was so not ready for that idea. I wanted to try something first, I'd wanted to try and swim. Maybe I wasn't ready to swim just yet, but as Paul said "I'd rather sink than never swim." If I sank, so what, I had such a great family in the Reed's. Maybe they wanted to rescue me, if I sank? And I'm just 16, aren't we supposed to try and swim on our own, with the possibility of maybe sinking? I nodded to myself as I ate my salad in peace.

"So Frank here, is gonna start a band." I heard my name and looked up with a confused look on my face.

"What?"

"I was just telling the rest of the family that you are gonna start a band." Paul's face was almost ecstatic. I just blushed and looked down at my plate again.

"Maybe.."

"That's awesome, Frank! You can practice in the basement, and if you guys need some opinions on things, and I can be like your groupie!" Mark had put down his pork and started to wave around with his arms, just like his dad had done.

"Howdy there, cowboy. Slow down a bit. Practice in the basement? I think we better get some isolation done, then." Patricia looked at her son and just smiled.

"Or, you can practice in the garage?" Chris's voice breached through, even though he was just 12 he had some really good ideas sometimes.

"Sounds good to me!" Paul said nodding while he took a big bite of his chicken.

"But guys, hold on. I haven't even decided if I really want to do this yet. I don't want to disappoint you or anything, but I'm just not sure." I had this weird feeling in my stomach when I said that. I really didn't want to disappoint anyone, but I hand't made up my mind just yet if I wanted to try to start a band. With the keyword "try". Patricia stood up from her seat and went over to me. She hugged me and whispered in my ear.

"Don't ever think that you will disappoint us, honey. You are an amazing person and whatever you decide to do with you life, we are gonna be 100% supportive." She let me go and looked me in the eyes. She smiled and said:

"Ok?" I nodded and smiled back.

"Ok." In that moment I felt so loved. Wo am I kidding, I knew they would help me if I sank. They wouldn't just sit back and watch. When Patricia went over to sit down on her chair again, I made up my mind.

"I'm doing it." I let the feeling if the word sink in before I said the final words. "I'm gonna try and start a band."

"I'm gonna be a groupie, I'm gonna be a groupie." Mark jumped from his seat and started to sing the phrase and dancing along. I nearly choked on my tomato.

"Please, don't do that dance when my bandmates is coming over." I'm really gonna do this, I felt so excited about the idea.

"But can't you be my first member?" Paul got quiet and sat down.

"I have stage fright, and I don't play any interments or neither can I sing!" He looked at down and started to poke at his chicken.

"I't can't be so bad."

"Yeah, it is that bad. We had a school play once, and I had a small role as a tree. And I kind of threw up on stage. It was horrible! I'd rather be on the watching end, than to be watched." He giggled and looked up at me.

"Oh ok, then we have our first groupie then!" I smiled at him and I could see that his eyes got excited.

After dinner, Mark and I sat down in the livingroom and started to write a note about the band.

"I'm not sure what I wanna call the band though, but that's not that important now, is it? We can figure that out when we actually have some musicians along with us." It wasn't that hard to write a note about it. It took us kind of two seconds, so now we were sitting and playing around with different names. The one more worse than the other. Marks started to laugh so hard he had to lay down on the couch.

"What are you laughing about?" It was contagious, so soon we both were lying on the couch, laughing.

"I. don't. really. know." He said through a suppressed laughter.

"You don't know? Oh, you make me crack sometimes!" We finished our little laughing session before Mark said something that made my stomach do butterflies.

"You know, I'm glad you moved in with us. I mean, I'm not glad that your parents.. You know.. Died, but I'm glad I got to know you." He was looking at his hand which was playing with his shirt, but at the mentioning of the last words, he looked up and caught his eyes with mine. I smiled to him and leaned forward to give him a hug.

"Thank you, I'm glad I got to know you as well. You are like a brother to me, and I have never had one so its exciting for me to not be alone like I was. I miss my parents and all, and I wish they were still alive. But you guys have made it so much more easier." We pulled away and Mark hit me playfully in the bicep. I grabbed my arm and looked at him with a hint of hurt and playfulness in my eyes.

"Man, you are SO gonna pay for that!" I launched myself at him and we rolled of the couch. So much for brotherly love.

The very next day, Mark helped me with hanging the note up at the board at school. Now we just had to wait and see if someone saw it.

Something big stopped me before I entered the classroom.

"Why the hell haven't you told me that you wanted to start a band?"

"Hi Bob!" Mark said with a high pitch voice.

"Oh, hi Mark." Bob turned around to face me with an excited look on his face.

"What do you play?"

"Ehm, I play the guitar, and I figured it was about time that I would try and start a band."

"That's so cool! I'm so gonna be on the audition!" He smiled one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen, even he didn't had ears, I knew that the smile would have continued around his head.

"What? Do you play?"

"Man, I play the drums. Or I try to play the drums." His smile faded a bit. His excitement sprung over to me.

"Bob, your in!" I started to do a little awkward dance in the hallway. People stared at me, but I didn't care. This was making me very excited, and probably a bit to much.

"But you haven't heard me play!" Bob looked at me with confusion in his eyes.

"I don't care, we can suck together then!" My smile grew wider and wider with each dancing move I took. There was a long time since I had felt happiness like this, and I loved the feeling.

Suddenly I saw the skinny boy that sat at the canteen the day before. He was dressed almost the same today, except for the dark grey tee that said "Misfits" on it. My luck had so changed, I thought to myself when we went into the classroom. Mark, Bob, myself, and the mystery kid. I wanted to say something to him, anything really. Maybe hi? Its good to start with an hi, isn't it? But before I had the courage or got to decide on what to say, Ms. Granger came in. Fuck.. Oh well, mystery boy was sitting in the back and I was sitting close to the door. I had to catch him on his way out.


	5. New Start

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews and I'm so sorry it took me so long to upload this chapter! And since I'm really sorry, I'll give you two new chapters, how that's ok? And hope that I still have some readers left! :)**

Math wasn't that bad. Even though he hated it, Ms. Granger had such a positive vibe around her.

"Numbers are fun! It doesn't have to be all that bad, guys." She said with enthusiasm. He didn't really know about the fun part, but he was eager to give it a go. They were supposed to go into groups of two and two. And since Bob and Mark already shared a desk, he had to find himself a partner in crime. He looked around, and saw that everyone had a partner already. But he saw a skinny shadow in the corner, the mystery boy tried to hide himself from the world. He sat by the desk and was shrinking in size and his black and grey clothes. Frank thought about it for a second, before he raised his hand.

"Ms. Granger?" The women turned around and looked at him with a smile.

"Yes?"

"Ehm, I don't have a partner."

He looked at her and hoped she would notice the mystery boy in the corner, hiding from the world. It would have been perfect if he had got him as his partner, then he could talk to him and try to be his friend if the other boy would approve to it. She looked around and looked at the boy, and Frank saw that her lips curled themselves into a smile. She then turned around and looked at Frank.

"It looks as though young Mr. Way here is available."

The mystery boy look up by the mention of his name. He almost looked a bit shocked, Frank looked at him and tried to read his face. Was it maybe fear but a bit curiosity at the same time? He wasn't quite sure. But he knew that he had seen that expression before, in the canteen yesterday.

"Ok, that sounds great!"

Frank tried to not show the amount of enthusiasm as he felt, when he looked over at the boy, which apparently had his last name Way. The boy looked at him, but didn't show any sign of moving. Well, Frank just had to come over to him them. He collected his books and went over to his desk. With a bit to wide smirk he stretched his hand forward to him.

"Hi, I'm Frank!" The mystery boy shook his hand.

"I'm Mikey." He seemed unsure at the situation, but Frank just took a seat next to him.

"Hi, Mikey!" Frank couldn't help but smile even wider when he greeted the boy. This was so exciting!

"So, we are gonna work together today. That's gonna be fun! I'm new here by the way. Don't know if you have seen me around? I have seen you around though, and I tried to go and say hi to you yesterday, but you were gone when the bell rang, so I hoped that I would bump into you today, because I saw your tee with KISS on it and the one you are wearing today, I love Misfits, they are awesome. And I think that maybe you and I can, I don't know, become friends?"

I had to take a deep breath after that outburst. I felt ashamed that he had to listen to all of that. It came out of me in a rush, and I hoped that he didn't think that I was a freak. I looked down and started to play with my hoodie. I didn't had the courage to look up, before Mikey spoke.

"I would absolutely love to be your friend!"

What? Did he actually say that, or was it just my imagination. We had barely said hi to eachother, and he agreed to be my friend? I felt like I were in kindergarten all over again. I slowly let my eyes met his. His light brown eyes were full of excitement. I just smiled to him and blushed lightly. That's one of my main issues, I blush to easily.

"Cool! Do you want to hang out after school? We can either be at my place or if you prefer your place, its cool with me."

"Ehm, can we hang out at your place? It's the most convenient for me today." He had this way of speaking, like he had grown up in a really wealthy family or something.

"Yea, sure! Sound awesome!"

"Boys, I hope your talking about some exciting numbers over there!" Ms. Granger looked at them with a strict, but mild expression on her face.

"We better start." Frank looked at Mikey, which nodded back to him eagerly.

"Are you sure this is ok?"

"Yeah, of course. My mom is gonna be totally fine with it." After a quick introduction between Bob, Mark and Mikey, the four guys were heading to the Reed's house. Mikey seemed a bit uncomfortable, so I took one of my arms around his shoulders. He was a lot taller than me though, I was around 5'4 and Mikey had to be around 5'10. So I managed to jump and almost hang around his neck. He didn't expect that, so in about two seconds we were both tumbling around on the ground, laughing our assess of.

"What was that?" Mikey had one hand on his stomach, and tried to suppress the laughter, something he didn't manage to do.

"Sorry dude, I was just trying to put my arm around your shoulder, but you are kinda taller than me and I tried to jump on you. And the rest of it, well, I think you know what happened then." I explained by laughing, as I got up on my feet again. I offered my hand to Mikey to help him up, he took it and soon we were on our way into Mark's house.

And my house, I had to remind myself that. It was my house as well. Don't forget that, Iero.

Mikey was still very new to us, and we were new to Mikey. So we spent the next few hours getting to know each other. I didn't really know Bob as well, since I only met him yesterday, so I was eager to learn about my two new friends.

"So, where do you guys actually live?" I looked from Mikey to Bob.

"I live a few houses away, on the left side." Bob pointed out to the street and did a motion with his hand to the left.

"I live around 10 minutes walk from here, so it's not that far either." We talked for a while, and the atmosphere in the room was light. It was as we had known eachother for years, and just not for a few hours.

"So you live here?" Mikey asked me after we had talked about Bob's family. He had a younger sister named Emilie, and she was 10 years old. And then he had his mom and dad.

Mark had told Mikey about his parents, and then there was me. The question was simple, but the answer was much much tougher for me to answer. It was tougher for me too just think about it, I felt the tears burning in my eyes. I had to look away, I didn't want to cry in front of Bob or Mikey, they would just think that I was some sort of girly boy who weeped for everything. Mark saw me struggle and came closer to me.

"Frank, are you ok?" No, I'm not okay. That was my answer, plain and simple and so painfully right. I thought that for the past week that my sorrow and grief were slowly going away. But just one thought, one little thought, and I was back down in my black and oh so deep, hole. The hole with the muddy walls, nearly impossible to climb up again. Not without help. My tears lived their own life at this point, just tearing their way through my eyelids and down my cheeks. I kept my eyes closed and then felt a hand on my back. Mark came even closer and soon he was holding me in a tight hug. I couldn't stop it now, and big sobs came out of me. Big tears along with sharp and fast breath, my chest hurt so much, it almost felt as if it was going to explode. Mark held me tight and whispered words in my ear.

"It's ok Frank, I'm here. Just let it out. I know it hurts. But just let it out."

I don't know how long we sat like that, but my breathing slowed down after a while, and it felt as though a big stone was lifted off of my chest. Even though my heart was still hurting like hell, I soon calmed down and the feeling of tiredness came over me. Mark slowly pulled away.

"Frank, open yours eyes please. Can you look at me?" I opened my eyes and looked straight into three pairs of very concerned eyes.

"Are you ok?" Mark's voice was so full of empathy that I didn't know what to do, other than answer him.

"Now I am." I smiled a shy smile to the guys, just to mark my words. I looked Mikey in the eyes, and got terrified by the look in them. His brown eyes was so full of fear that I was afraid to look at them. I noticed that his hands were shaking, and he was sitting on the end of the couch.

"Mikey, are you ok? I'm so sorry if I scared you."

"Was it something I said. I'm so sorry Frank! I totally understand if you don't want to hang with me anymore." He looked down on his shoes. I sighed, how could he even think that way!

"Look Mikey, its so not your fault. I don't want you to ever think that way, ok? I'm so glad that you wanted to be my friend." He was still looking at his shoes, and I sighed even louder. A pair of black converse couldn't possibly be that interesting, could they?

"Mikey, please look at me?" I felt the desperation in my voice. He turned his glance over at my face, I knew I looked like shit, my eyes red from the crying, but I didn't care at that moment. I needed to get the guys understand my reaction to such a simple question. Especially Mikey.

"Look, yes, I live here, because." I smiled at him and took a deep breath. "My parents died in a car crash just a few weeks ago. And since I'm underage and don't have any income money wise, I had to move to a foster care. That's why I'm new in Belleville, I used to live in Newark with my parents. That's why I started to cry, because I kinda miss them and this is still all new to me." The room got dead quiet after I had spoken the hard words. I didn't knew what to expect, so I look down, kinda embarrassed and kinda scared of what their reaction would be. But it was the truth, and you can't do anything about it except say it out loud. But what I really didn't expect was Mikey nearly launching himself at me, hugging me and holding me tight, just like Mark had done.

"Oh Frank, I don't know what to say. I feel so sorry for you. I could never imagine losing my parents." He pulled away and his eyes were now strong and full of love and concern. I smiled at him and thought for myself.

I knew that Mikey Way would make a really close and good friend.


	6. Special

**Chapter five - Special**

After that little collapse, I felt relieved and kinda empty in my head. I had never in my life experienced close friends, or experienced friends for that matter. And to finally have three, that was so out of my league.

The four of us sat on the couch for about an hour and just talked. I turned my attention to Mikey and let the arguing voices of Mark and Bob, who discussed which movie was better then the other: "The Hulk" or "Superman". I liked both of the movies, but my favorite was "Frankenstein", for obvious reasons, so I wanted to talk to Mikey alone. I found out that we had so much in common; the music, comics and video games.

And he played the bass.

"You what?"

"I play the bass." Mikey eyes sparkled with stars when he said it again.

"I wanted to play an instrument when I was younger, and I thought that bass looked really cool. The bass player can kinda chose of he want's to be in focus or he can hide away if he want's too as well, so that made it the perfect choice."

I couldn't believe how lucky I was. I almost had a hole band together at that point, a bass player, a drummer and myself on the guitar. I told Mikey about my plans, and invited him to join. The looks in his eyes told me that he we curious about it, but also a bit terrified. He looked at me, and then back on his shoes.

"Come on, Mikey. Its not likely that we are going somewhere, we are just gonna practice in the basement. I don't think we will ever make it to play in front of 10000 screaming people, or be interviewed on TV or have a few millions of fans around the world. Its just gonna be us and the music. And I really really want you to join in, that would have been awesome as fuck!" Mikey continued to study his shoes and I saw him blush slightly.

"Are you sure you wanna have me as a bass player in your band?" His voice was low and the words came out slowly, he kept his gaze on his shoes and started to play with the sleeves of his hoodie.

"This may sound pathetic, but its the truth. Mikey, you are the first person I have talked to and got to know without any single help from anyone. I have never had friends before." Mikey's head bounced up and his eyes met mine. They were so intense, and it felt as though they were burning their way into my soul and my heart. His amazing brown eyes. They were hypnotizing and I soon zoomed out and just kept looking straight into them. There was something about Mikey, I couldn't put my finger on it though. But there was something special about him, something that sat deep down inside of him. I wanted to find out what that was. Why was he so shy and concerned about everything? I sat silent with my thoughts for awhile, before I heard someone call my name.

"Frank? Are you ok?" I snapped out of it and smiled at Bob.

"Of course I'm fine. I have a bass player in my band! Its nearly complete!" I smiled at Mikey, who gave me one of his adorable smiles back at me.

"Mikey! That's awesome, man!" Bob hit Mikey playfully in the shoulder.

"So, when is the first practice?" Could we really start to practice already. We didn't had a singer yet, but did that matter? I said my concern to the guys, but they just shook their heads.

"We can just jam a bit, until a singer comes along."

We planned to meet up tomorrow after school.

"My place, 5 pm?"

"Sounds good to me!" Bob smiled. "I can have my mom drive over with my drums, but can they maybe just stick around here? My dad has a set as well, so I kinda don't need them back home."

"Sure, that sound good."

"5 pm, it is then!" Mikey said before walking out the door after giving me a hug.

It was a really nice embrace, it felt warm and welcoming. I was so happy right now.

**Mikey's POV**

I looked up at the stars. It was such a nice evening, the sky was a dark, dark blue and the stars sparkled with the yellow light. It was full moon today as well, and it made everything even more beautiful. He was so happy right then and there, how could life be more perfect in that single moment of time.

Well, he knew one thing that could make it even more perfect though, but that was not going to happen. They had both agreed on that point in life. It was sad, and even heartbreaking, but they had excepted it. And so they just had to live with that thought stuck back in their head all the time.

He walked into their driveway and opened the door.

"Gee? Are you there?" He slipped his shoes and hoodie of, and went into the livingroom. He spotted Gerard on the couch, wrapped up in two wool blankets.

"How do you feel, Gee?" He went over and sat down beside his brother's body.

"Have been better, Mikes." He looked very pale, and his black hair and hazel eyes stood out in the dim light. Mikey bent down and gave him a hug. He loved his brother so much, it killed him to see him like this. He had been so full of live, and had everything lined up for him. He had gotten a scholarship from a school in New York, where he could study to become a comic artist. He had been singing in a band and had a few very close friends. But he lost everything that day. Mikey had gone through that day so many times in his head.

_"It's nothing, Mikey! I'm just going to the doctors. Be home in a bit." Gerard leaned forward and gave him a hug. They drove home after school that day, and Gerard told Mikey that he had an urgent appointment at the doctors._

_"But can you tell me why it's urgent then Gerard? What's the rush?" Mikey had a bad feeling about this, he wanted to come with Gerard, but his brother just shock his head and stared at him. He had always had that intense sparkling in his eyes. But he couldn't see it today. Bad sign._

_"Ok, you can come, but you are gonna sit in the waitingroom, and wait for me. Got it?"_

_"M'okay." It was better then nothing, he guess._

_Both Mikey and Gerard always hated to go to the doctors. When Mikey was about sick years old, he had to take a bloodiest and when the nurse poked his finger with the needle, he kicked her straight on her leg. After that event, the nurse had a bad limb for a few weeks and she refused to go anywhere near Mikey again. Now they were back, sitting on some white cheers in the sterile waitingroom. He shrugged when he looked around._

_"Gerard Way!" A voice shouted from a door. Gerard got up and gave Mikey a calm expression._

_"I'll be right back, baby bro. Just sit here and wait for me." He gave him a smile and Mikey saw the sparkling in his eyes again. He smiled back and saw Gerard walk through the door. _

How Mikey hated that door right now, it felt as though the door and the rooms inside of it had taken and trapped his big brother inside, and wouldn't let him go. When Gerard had walked through that door, that was the last time he had had the sparkle in his eyes. That's why Mikey loved the stars. I reminded him of his brothers hazel eyes.

_"Mikey Way, can you please step in here." The door had opened and the nurse looked out through it. He felt his heartbeat race, and he could barley breath. Something was wrong, very wrong. He knew it. His legs and body felt numb as he walked through the same door as Gerard had walked through just moments earlier. This was not good, so not good. He followed the nurse into a room. He saw Gerard immediately. Hi brother sat on a chair, and he looked as though he had seen a ghost._

_"Please sit down Mikey." The doctor was an older man with brown short hair spotted by gray. He had kind blue eyes with a hint of sympathy. His voice when calm when he said the words._

_"I'd rather stand up." I felt uncomfortable. _

_"Please Mikey, I think its best if you just sit down." He pointed at one of the chairs next to Gerard. I did what he told me, went over and sat down. Gerard's hand found mine, and he held my hand as if he was hanging on for his own life._

_"Its tough to break these kind of news to the patient and to his family. And since you are Gerard's only living family member left as we know of, we wanted to bring you in after telling Gerard. Because this is something that's gonna effect you as well." I was nervous and felt like puking all over the place. I looked at Gerard when I heard the doctor speak again._

_"Mikey, your brother has got cancer."_

_Oh. My. God.._


	7. Like a star

Chayandquinn: Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments! Means the world to me :') Thank you!

Yotsuba: Keep reading and you'll see if he survives or not. I'm not telling ;)

McrmyKilljoy: Aww, thank you! :D

A/N: New chapter up! :)

**Like a star**

**Mikey's POV**

Oh. My. God.. This couldn't be, this wasn't right. Gerard didn't have cancer. It was bullshit. He let go of Gee's hand and got up from the chair. He started to wave around with his arms and started shouting.

"You are mistaken, you are wrong. He has not got cancer. My brother is not sick. He looks completely fine to me." A lie, he knew right then and there that he had told a lie. Gerard looked pail and he had bags around his eyes. And had he lost some weight as well?

The doctor looked at him with concern and pity in his eyes.

"I'm really sorry, Mikey. But we are not wrong. We double checked his tests and they came out positive." Mikey pulled his hair. Wake up, please wake up, you stupid fuck. This gotta be a nightmare, that was the explanation.

But if that was a nightmare, why was he still living it?

"But you can help him, right? You can make him better, make him healthy again?" He could her his own desperation in his voice. He looked over at Gerard, his brother had brought his two hands up to his face and Mikey could see the tears that came rolling underneath his palms. He walked over to him and sat down on the chair. His long arms held Gerard in a tight embrace, and he felt his brother lean on him for support.

"Your brother has got something we call AML or acute myelogenous leukemia."

Mikey looked at the doctor with a confused look on his face. The doctor saw it and started to explain.

"A normal body has got blood and a normal marrow that makes many unformed cells called blasts. The blasts would normally develop onto white blood cells that fight infection. But in Gerard's body however, the blasts is developing into abnormal cells. They cannot fight infections, and that's why any infections can be crucial to Gerard. The body can't fight it down, and even a slightest cold can be deadly. The bone marrow can also make abnormal red blood cells and platelets. This makes the blood thin and if he get's a bleeding he can bleed to death."

"Death, dead, dying." Mikey's brain was about to explode. If he heard the doctor say that word one more time, he would brake down and literally fall to the floor, without knowing how to get up again.

"Are you saying that there is nothing you can do?"

"We are gonna start treatment right away, and there is a pretty good chance for him to get well. But this is an acute and aggressive disease, I don't wane take away all hope, because there is always a hope for every patient. Never lose you hope, its gonna be tough. And if you need some help, anything at all, just ask the hospital." After some smalltalk between Gerard and the doctor, we went home. I drove the car, Gee didn't feel very well after the not so good news.

I sighed and looked down on my skinny pale brother who gave me a weak smile.

"So, tell me all about your new friends! I need some good news." I had phoned Gerard and told him that I was going over to some friends of mine after school, and he got overexcited about the thought of it. He knew I had a tough time bonding and making contact with people. It was just who I was, to shy for my own good.

I told him all about Bob and Mark, but left out Frank. He felt so special to me already, and I wanted to save the best for last. I told Gerard about Bob and his obsession about video games. Gee laughed and said that I should bring him here, so he could teach him some tricks.

"Who is the third person then?" Gee knew me to well. I smiled and blushed, I couldn't help it, but my brother just giggled. I would have hit him in the biceps, but because of the cancer he got bruised form nothing really, and I knew that he had another level of feeling pain. Just a needle would make him to cry out and scream in pain. I always had to hold his hand when he had to take a blood test or bone marrow test.

"His name is Frank, and he was the one who made the first move." I closed my eyes and I felt a warm feeling settle in my face. I knew that I had gone from slightly pink to red in one second. I regretted right away of how I had put out the words. Gerard just giggled more when I said that.

"In love are we?" He had this huge smile on his face and when I looked deep in his eyes I could see the sparkling coming back. Not as strong as before, but it was there.

"No, I'm not. And besides, I don't even know if he is gay." I knew I was though.

"I don't want to do anything to scare him away. And I don't know what I feel for him either. All I know is that he is one special friend." Gerard face got a serious expression.

"Just get to know him, and if there is anything other than friendship, you will know." He pulled Mikey into a hug, they sat there for a few minutes before his stomach started to growl. Gerard let him go and pulled one side of his mouth up into a smile.

"Hungry much?" Mikey put his right hand on his stomach and it surely felt empty.

"Kinda, have you eaten anything yet?"

"No, I have just been lying here all day. Not very hungry though, these meds are killing my appetite. I just keep throwing the food up again, but if you are making some dinner, can you include me? I better try to get something to stay inside me."

"Sure!" He opened the fridge and saw that they had some leftover pasta from yesterday. He took it out and found some ham in the cabinet.

"How's pasta and ham sound to you?" He looked at Gee through the door. He had put the TV and and was zipping through the channels.

"Sounds good, but don't burn the pasta."

"Gee, that was ONE time!"

"Yeah, but you did it. And I don't understand how you did it, but you did it." He let out a little giggle, and Mikey couldn't be mad at him for making him remember the pasta-incident for the hundred time. He focused on the cooking again, but when Gerard started to laugh like crazy, he peeked through the door again.

"What?"

"And do you remember when I found you with that fork almost down in the toaster?" Gee couldn't hold himself, and nearly fell of the couch.

"Ha ha.. My toast got stuck down there, I needed to get it up!" He pretended to be mad at him, but actually he was smiling and laughing along. It was nice to see that Gerard had gotten some life spirit back again after the tough week at the hospital.

"But you could have pulled the plug out first, I'm glad I found you, you could have gotten a shock and died.." His voice broke of with the mention of the word dead. Mikey heard it and nearly run to the couch.

Big tears were coming out of Gee's eyes and down his cheek.

"Hey you, Gee. It's ok, I'm here." He sat down on the couch and pulled his brother on top of his lap. He stroked his hair while Gee sobbed. It killed him to see his brother like this, and he wished with all his heart that they could swap places. Gerard had started to yell at him when he said that right after he had gotten the diagnose.

"Don't you dare say something like that again." Gee had told him, and he hadn't said it after that, just though it.

Gerard's breathing evened out after a few minutes and Mikey leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"Feeling better?" He saw Gerard smile up to him.

"Yes, thank you. I'm so glad I have you. I love you Mikey, never forget that."

"I wont. Love you too, Gee." He stood up and went into the kitchen again and started to cut the ham.

An hour later they were both laying on the couch after dinner, when Mikey's phone rang. Gerard smiled to him, his phone would never ring when he were home with Gee. He was the one to call him, so he was glad to see that it was Frank's name on the screen. He smirked when he pushed the green button and brought it up to his ear.

"Hello?"

"My man! Mikey, it's me, Frank!"

"Hi, Frank!" Gee peeked over at him and he could feel that he started to blush again.

"I was just wondering if you are ready for tomorrow." Gee turned down the sound on the TV.

"Yes, of course I am! We just talked about it for like two hours ago." He couldn't help but giggle.

"Sure, I'm just so excited about everything. The band, you being my friend and all. Dude, you have no idea how stupid I feel right now." He heard Frank's voice fell a bit.

"You are not stupid, Frank. I'm pretty excited as well. Have you found any music we could play?" He could nearly see how Frank's face lit up when he mentioned the music.

"I thought about Misfits, but also some classical like KISS, Metallica and of course Black Flag. And what do you think about Nirvana?" Frank's zeal rubbed of on me.

"Totally! I can bring some CD's over?"

"That's sounds great! I can't wait to see you tomorrow." I blushed again for like the thousand time that day, I hated to blush, and especially when Gee could see me. He just smiled and waved at him in a feminine way.

"Me too! See you tomorrow, Frank."

We hung up, and Gerard was all over me.

"What did he say?"

"We just talked about tomorrow." I put my phone down on the table, and felt Gee's gaze burning in my neck.

"Well?"

"And, can I borrow some of your CD's? You have a bigger collection than I have."

"Yea, sure, help yourself. But you haven't answered my question yet?" I was looking through Gee's CD's, and had to turn around and look at him.

"What question?" Gee took a deep breath and smiled.

"What did Frank say?" He smiled a bit dirty, and looked at him.

"He just said that he was glad to have me as his friend and that he was excited about the band."

"Ah.." Gerard gave him a smirk and blinked with his eye.

"What?" Mikey knew exactly what Gerard meant, but the decided to play stupid about it.

"Oh nothing."

"It just feels like Frank has got a thing for you.." He kinda breathed the last sentence out in a hush voice.

"Huh?"

"Nothing." Gee said in a rush, but smiled for himself. Mikey just shock his head, smirked and turned his attention to the CD collection.


	8. I want everything

**Yotsuba: **I'm not telling! My mouth are sealed :) I have around 28 chapters written, and it's posted on another forum, and I'm almost done with writing it! So I'm gonna post not more than TWO chapters for you today ;) Hope you like!

**Chapter seven - I want everything**

**Frank's POV**

"No no, it's slipping! I can't hold it anymore!"

"Don't you dare letting it go!"

"But it's slipping!"

"Frank, it's just two steps left!" Bob and I were carrying his drums down the stairs and to the basement. Bob held the bass drum and I was in charge of the floor tom and . It was heavy stuff and the steps down to the basement were steep.

"Owwhh!" I skipped one of the steps and nearly fell on top of Bob.

"Sorry, Bob!"

"You guys need some help?" Mikey stood in top of the steps and looked down. He was trying to hide a smirk, but he wasn't doing a good enough job. I peeked over my shoulder and looked at him. And oh my god, he was so hot today! The way his tight jeans was clinging to his legs. The way his black tee hang smooth and soft against his upper torso, and the way his glassed sat loosely on his nose. He was gorgeous and the butterflies in my stomach started to go crazy.

Wait, what am I thinking? Was I falling for one of my best friends? I zoned out a few seconds, didn't know what to believe anymore. Suddenly I found myself on top of Bob, literally.

"Ouch, Frank! Watch were you going!" We were lying in a big mash at the bottom of the steps. Bob were stuck between the drums and me, lying on the floor, pissed. I started to laugh, really hysterical. Mikey had run down the steps and pulled my arms and pulled me away from Bob.

"Oh my g… Guys, are you ok?" Mikey had a terrifying look in his face.

"Should I call 911?" He grabbed his phone in the pocket. I found myself on my feet again and grabbing Mikey's wrist.

"Hey, you don't need to call 911. We're ok." I tried to look him in the eyes, but he turned his gaze away from me.

"Mikey? Are you ok?" I stepped closer to him and put my finger under his chin. It was wet, and when I lifted his face to look at me, I saw that his eyes were filling with water. We met eyes for a brief moment, before he turned away from me again.

"I-I'm s-sorry, I d-didn't mean to o-overreact." He slipped his phone in his pocket again, and started to pick up the drums we had lost on the floor. Something was clearly wrong, we were just having fun and had a little accident. Why would he freak out like that? I kinda wanted to find out what it was, so I went over to him.

"I'm gonna go upstairs and help Mark out with the rest of the stuff." Bob talked to us and we both turned around to look at him and nod.

"Are you ok, Mikey? I'm sorry we scared you." I loved Bob in these situations. Even though I had known him for just a few days, I knew from Mark's description that Bob was a calm guy when it came to conflicts or another sort of accidents. But if you crossed his line, he was not afraid to tell you what you did wrong, but in a good way.

"It's ok, as I said, I just overreacted." He gave Bob a smile and he returned it before looking at me with playful eyes.

"And you, mister, I'm gonna get back on you. Oh yeah, I will." He turned around and I heard him mumble to himself 'gonna get him good'. I just giggled and turned my attention to Mikey. He was standing on the same spot and when he saw me looking at him, he gave me a sad smile. The light in his eyes were gone, and that made me worried.

"Mikey, can we talk?" He nodded and we went over to the couch.

"I really wanna get to know you Mikey, but I'm not gonna force you to say something you don't wanna say. Like I said, I just wanna get to know you a lot more. So can I ask you a few questions?" I sent him a smile of confident. He turned more towards me, 'till he was nearly sitting sideways on it. I did the same and just looked at him. The butterflies came to life again and I had to hush them down.

"What do you wanna know?"

Oh, wow, what DID I wanna know about Mikey? I could just come up with one answer to that question, and that was what I told him.

"Everything."

"Then, I'm gonna give you everything. Do you want me to start at the beginning?" Mikey looked at me and I saw his eyes open. It was like they had become slightly lighter in the color. I gave him a nod, and he started on his story.

"I have always lived were I live today, right here in Belleville. The same house, the same neighbors, even the same car. It's like this shitty old vauxhall from 1989, blue and really small with only three doors." He smiled when he described the car.

"My parents and my older brother Gerard, we used to drive to New York when we had summer vacation. Gerard is about 19 years old and he has always loved that city. I kind of looked at it as a scary place, because its so huge, but I always felt save when I was with Gee. We have a special bond, always have had and always will have. He is my rock in life, makes everything in balance. We had so much fun together, and because we live in this "dangerous" city," he made the quotation signs in the air, "Gee and I had to pretty much stay inside all day. We would do everything from playing Star Wars with homemade capes and make shift sword to just listening to music and draw, and play video games of course." I giggled a bit when Mikey said that, he smiled and let out a happy sigh by the thought of it.

"We had some really good childhood years, until I turned 9 years old. I was walking home from school one day, alone. Gee and I always walked home together, but he had class longer then me that day, so I decided to go home alone. It was my fault really, I should have waited for him. He had school just 30 minutes longer than me, but we had gotten a new video game that I was so anxious to try out. So I walked alone," he looked down, but suddenly turned his gaze and looked straight at me. His eyes got furious and he spat out the next words,"how can people do such a thing? And it was in the middle of the day? I was so scared, I didn't know what to do or how to react. I remember I just started to kick the guy and scream, but he was to big and powerful. And he tied me up in the back of the van, and I was so scared. How could they do such a thing, Frank?" His eyes looked at me sadly, like someone had died and he was full of sorrow.

"I-I don't know what you mean, Mikey. What happened?"

"They kidnapped me, Frank. The guys took me and had me for a week. In an old building near Newark. I got scarred for life. Mentally, and Gerard." He paused, sucking some air into his lounges through a sigh, "he also got scarred for life. Wanted to protect me against anything, everything." He had used the same word I had when he had asked me what I wanted to know. He looked at me.

"Hope I'm not scaring you. And I totally understand if you don't wanna be friends with me after this. But you have to know, because after the kidnapping, when I got home, I kinda went a bit loco in my head."

His gaze sneaked towards his shoes again. I just waited patiently for him to continue.

"I got PTSD, or also known as posttraumatic stress disorder. I'm not as bad as I was, I have to take some meds though, but not such a high dose anymore." I was in shock, my body was frozen and mu thoughts were running through my head, which were kinda spinning at the moment. I looked at Mikey and really looked at him, I let my gaze wonder on his body and face. How could anyone even touch and hurt a boy like Mikey. Skinny and with sad eyes, he seemed like such an innocent creature. My eyes stopped at his heart were I gently put my hand on his shirt. I could feel him tense up a bit and his heart started to beat faster. I had been looking down on my hand, but now turned it up towards his face and gently connected my gaze with his. We locked eyes for a brief moment before Mikey spoke again.

"I was anxious all the time and had panic attacks, really bad ones. Though I was going to pass out from it, but you can't really do that from a panic attack. Because your heartbeat goes up, and so does your blood pressure, so you can't really pass out from it." We kept looking eachother in the eyes, his amazing brown color swallowed me hole. I tried to show him my sympathy and that it didn't matter to me that he went in meds or that he was PTSD. I wanted to be his friend, and maybe more than that if he wanted it though. Mikey brought his hand up to mine and placed it on top of it. It sent shivers down my spine and I got a really good feeling in my stomach. I saw his cheeks grow red and I smiled to him.

Suddenly he turned serious, but still kept his hand on mine.

"But do you know what the worst part was? The dreams, or more correct, nightmares. I kept dreaming about them, about being killed at the end, and not coming home. The fakers didn't have faces at all and it was just horrible. I always woke up screaming and crying."

**Mikey's POV**

_"No, please, I wanna go home. PLEASE, TAKE ME HOME." He we crying and tried to kick the guy that held him tight._

_"Shut up, you little monster. We are not gonna let you go not yet."_

_"I want my mom and dad, please, lemme go!" The guy was so strong and he couldn't think straight. He got shoved into a van, and he heard the engine was going. It was a heavy diesel and it smelled like old gym socks. They drove for an hour, and he really tried to get out of the strong ropes that was around his wrists, pulling them together and making them sore. He was to afraid to cry anymore, just used all his focus on the ropes._

_The car polled into a stop and he got dragged out of the car again._

_"Were are we going?"_

_"Shut it, you brat."_

_They ripped the blindfold of and threw him to the ground. He turned around and was lying on his back facing the guys. There were two of them, not wearing masks, but one of them was holding a gun in his hand._

_"What do you want from me?"_

_"I think you know that we want with you." The guy holding the gun gave him a devilish smirk. Mikey didn't understand what he meant, but he hadn't much time to react about it before the gun was placed against his temporal._

_"No, please." It barley came out in a whisper. He was so scared and felt so alone._

_"Nothing to do about it now, sweetie."_

_Mikey closed his eyes and then everything went black._

_"Mikey, Mikey. It's ok. I've got you. Breath Mikey, I've got you." Gee's voice cut into his head and he opened his eyes._

_"Wha-what?"_

_"You were screaming and crying like someone we trying to kill you." Gee held him tight and stroked him over his hair. He was sweaty and his cheeks and eyes were burning after the amount of crying he had done._

_"I had such a bad dream, Gee." His tears were still running from his eyes._

_"I know, Mikey, but I'm here now. Try to relax and I can sleep in your bed tonight. Is that ok?"_

_"Don't go." Mikey looked at him and Gerard smiled back._

_"I wont, I promise. I will never leave you, Mikes."_

_With that, he feel asleep in Gee's arms._

**Frank's POV**

"Mikey, I feel so sorry for you. I don't know what to say." They had been silent for a few minutes, fingers slowly intertwining.

"You don't have to say a thing Frank. Your eyes tells me everything." I giggled like a girl, and blushed right after. Mikey just laughed. We were moving closer together, eliminating the distance between our bodies and mimicking the actions our hands were doing. Our legs tangling together and our heads moving closer. I looked at his lips and felt my breathing move faster. I so wanted to kiss him on his beautiful lips. We were so close, our nosetip almost touching. I felt his breath on my lips and I looked at his before moving my eyes to connect with his gaze.

"Kiss me?" Mikey's voice came out as an whisper.

"I thought you would never ask."

We closed the distance fast and I felt his lips on mine. We were kissing, I was kissing Mikey! And it was so good. We kissed with our lips at first, but soon I could feel his tongue against my lips, waiting and wanting to come inside my mouth. I opened it and let him inside. Our tongues entwined and the kiss got even more intimate. With every second we got more confident. I had never kissed someone before, but it felt so natural with Mikey. The way he played with my lipring and the way I got the nerve to lick his lower lip. He moaned into my mouth and I couldn't hold myself anymore. My hand that wasn't entwined with Mikey's, started to touch his upper torso. Hand roaming over his arms and his chest.

"Oh, Frank." We opened our eyes and looked at eachother, smiling. We took a break some the kissing and Mikey started to roam over my body with his hand as well. I moaned under his touch.

"Mikey, wow." I couldn't help myself, just closed my eyes and let my lips met his again. We tried to go closer to eachother until I was nearly on top of Mikey. We now used both of our hands and touched eachother more furious. Mikey found the hem of my shirt and started to slid it of me. I let him and soon it was discarded onto the floor. His hands felt so good, going all over my body. He started to kiss down my neck, and I moaned out his name.

I started to play with Mikey's shirt. I wanted it of him so I could feel him the same way he felt me. I wanted to give him the pleasure he gave me.

"What the..?"

Oh no, we had forgot about the other two guys.


	9. Perfectly Normal

**Chapter eight - Perfectly normal**

**Bob's POV!**

Mark and I had just unloaded the van and started to carry the stuff down to the basement. I had two boxes with equipment in my hands, and I could just peek over the top of the boxes when I came down the steps. I saw Mikey and Frank sitting on the couch, didn't gave it any second thoughts and I looked down on the last step, and not really taking in what I saw until I came all the way down on the floor. I peeked over the boxes again and let them drop to the floor.

"What the..?" I was in shock, utterly shock. I saw Frank and Mikey pull away from eachother, and I didn't really know what to say. My mouth hang open and I felt Mark stumble into me from behind.

"Oh man, why did you stop like that?" He half laughed and looked around the boxes he was holding.

"Eh, what's going on?" Mark took on a serious look on his face when he saw the situation surrounding him. Bob saw that Frank was shirtless. It was tossed on the floor near the couch and he could see that Frank was clearly uncomfortable without it. They stood frozen like this for a few seconds, Mikey slightly blushing, and still sitting awkwardly on the couch near the edge. Mark still holding the boxes and himself was standing in the middle of the room.

His thoughts were running through his head. He had never had gay friends before. Hell, he just had had one friend until Frank and Mikey came along. Although he knew that he wasn't gay, he wasn't homophobic or anything like that. He kinda didn't care if he saw two boys, two girls or a boy and girl, kissing. Of course it was a bit weird to see some people of the same sex being as intimate as Mikey and Frank had been, but it was perfectly normal. And who was he too judge someone. He wasn't without any flaws himself, everyone had flaws. Nobody's perfect. Oh my god, he had just quoted a Hannah Montana song. He shrug his head and looked around him. Then he started to laugh.

**Frank's POV**

'Oh no, how could he forgot Bob and Mark?' This was so awkward, I had pulled away from Mikey and he did the same when we heard the other guys coming down the steps. Had they seen us? It soon become clear to me that Bob saw that they had been kissing. Bob looked as though he had seen a ghost, standing in the middle of the floor. He had let the boxes fall to the floor and his jaw slightly open. I didn't know what to do or what to say.

We stood like this for a few moments, before Bob started to laugh.

**Mikey's POV**

'Why is he laughing?' He looked at Bob with big eyes. The guy was laughing so hard that he had to sit down on the floor. Mark and Frank had this strange look on their faces, like they thought that maybe Bob had gone crazy.

"Bob?" He spoke gently to the laughing boy, who was now completely laying on the floor on his back, laughing and couching. They gave him some time to recover, before they forced him to spoke.

"Why is this so funny, man?" Frank looked at Bob harsh. He was now gasping for air while he slowly got up on his shaky feet.

"T-they k-k-kiss.." He couldn't even get the words out before he was laughing again.

"Is that why you are laughing your guts out?" Frank looked at him oddly before bursting into laughter himself. It was contagious, so soon they were all laughing. Mikey had to sit down on the couch, he couldn't remember the last time he had laughed that hard.

After a few more minutes of giggling and deep breathes, Frank picked his shirt up from the floor.

"So, do you want to talk about it?" I asked nervously towards Mark and Bob. They just smiled and Mark looked at from me to Frank, who was busy pulling his shirt over his head.

"I think you to better talk about it. Whatever you decide on, we goth your backs." Mark smirked and sat the boxes he still had in his hands, on the floor.

I looked over to Frank, who had just gotten the shirt over his head and gave me a oddly smile.

"Do you wanna talk? About what happened?" He expression got thoughtful as he chewed on his lip, before he opened his mouth to speak.

"I think we have to, don't you agree?" I nodded and we left the basement.

"Be right back guys!" Frank held a hand on my shoulder to guide me, when he turned and talked to the two other guys as we went over to the steps.

"Oh, just take your time." I heard Mark giggle the phrase and Bob dropped the boxes again. I just shock my head and let Frank guide me through the livingroom, up another step.

"So, this is your room?" I looked around and saw posters on the wall. Everything from Misfits, Black Flag and..

The Beatles?

Frank saw my open jaw and he giggled slightly when he saw what had cost it.

"Its Mark's. He loves them. I share the room with Mark, that's why its kinda to much stuff in here. We haven't got everything planned out yet. And they have talked about me having the basement, so I'm living in boxes at the moment." He pointed at the boxes standing on the floor by his bed.

"Come and sit." We moved over to it, and sat down. My heartbeat was racing and my palms were sweeting. I was more nervous now than I was when we kissed.

"So.."

"Yeah.." We looked awkwardly at eachother.

"About the kiss."

"I'm so sorry, Frank. I shouldn't have asked you. But it felt really right at that moment, and there is something about you. I don't know what it is. I just feel so safe around you, and you make me relax on a hole different level. And, I kinda get these butterflies in my stomach when I see you." He blushed and looked down, what was Frank going to think about him?

"Please, don't freak out. But I really wanna be with you, and oh man, what am I saying? This really doesn't sound like me, not so straight forward." He didn't look up, didn't had the guts to do it. Would Frank be in shock, would he hit him? He imagined the worst scenarios in his head. The worst one was him ending dead in a coffin. He had to hit himself in the head, Frank wasn't like that! He knew that, and when he finally had the guts to look up, a strong hand grabbed him gently by the chin and pulled his face up, just like he had did just moments earlier.

He had his eyes closed and soon he felt Frank's lips on his own again. It was so good, too good for him to handle. His lips were so soft and he tasted cigarettes. He pulled himself away from Frank just a few inches.

"Do you smoke?" Frank just smiled and looked at his lips.

"Shut up, Mikey." He just smiled and their lips met again. Both of their lips were moving so slow, almost painfully slow. He parted his lips and felt Frank's tongue sink into his mouth. He moaned when Frank licked along inside his mouth. He had never in his life been kissed like this. He could remember one time when he was 15, he had told Gerard that he had never kissed.

_"Have you never kissed before?"_

_"Err, no. Is that bad?" He picked on his sleeves and avoided Gee's eyes._

_"No, no, not at all Mikey." I looked up at his words and saw that he smiled at me. I really wanted to try to kiss, but who was I supposed to kiss? I hadn't even dated yet. And I knew that I was gay, so the person I wanted to date and kiss, had to be a guy. But I didn't had the confident enough to walk over to a guy and ask him out, what if he wasn't gay and then everyone would know. I sighed, and felt an arm over my shoulder._

_"Do you want me to tell you how you kiss?"_

_"Could you do that?" I smiled up at my brother._

_"Of course, that's what you got siblings for! Come and sit with me on the couch."_

_We went over and sat down, face to face. I was really excited, I wanted to learn this._

_"Well, it can be kinda tricky sometimes. You both have to lean your heads to your separate ways. Like this." Gee came closer and leaned his head to the left, and I leaned mine to the right._

_"And then ´, you just lean in to eachother, and touch with your lips." He leaned closer to me and our lips touched for a brief second. I found out that my lips were so sensitive to touch, so I leaned into Gerard, craving more. But he pulled away, winched at me and got up from the couch._

_"That was lesson one, if you want more you have to make an appointment. I'm a busy man you know." I just laughed and threw a pillow after him._

But we didn't have the second lesson.

And now I didn't need to. I, Mikey Way, was kissing Frank Iero. And doing a great job as well.


	10. Scary Sight

****Blondepotato: Aww, thank you! Reviews are revarded with chapters! :) I have written around 28 chapters, so there are plenty left :D

**Chapter nine - Scary sight**

**Frank's POV**

"Mikey.." I pulled out from the kiss, just till the point that our noses were touching. I was looking down at his lips when I spoke.

"What does this mean?" Mikey looked me straight in the eyes and smiled.

"I don't really know, other than that my stomach is kinda full of crazy butterflies." He blushed when he looked down at my chest, and brought both of his hands and let them touch it. He kept them there, his palms sending shivers through my body. I closed my eyes by his touch and smiled an even bigger smile at him.

"Mine as well, there is just something special about you. I don't know if I'm gay though, I have had crushes on girls before, but never on guys. That's until I saw you. You just had this kind of magic around you and you just blew me away." I took Mikey's hand in mine and we intertwined our fingers.

"I'm so glad you came and said hi to me. I.." Mikey's phone started to ring. He ignored it.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" I still held his hand in mine, but had to let go when he picked out his phone. Slightly smiling, he pushed the button and took the phone up to his ear.

"Hi, Gerard!" I was still smiling when I looked at Mikey. We were standing pretty close to eachother and I could hear his breathing become more hurried and his smile fading away. I looked at him with worried eyes.

"I'm coming right over. I'll be there in two seconds." I saw the terrified look on his face when he pressed the end call button.

"What's wrong?"

"I gotta go, Gerard is really sick. I really need to go." He was looking around after something on my floor. He seemed really stressed out and I felt so sorry for him. He kept stressing around and didn't get anywhere, so I got a hold of his arms and stopped him.

"Mikey, who is Gerard?"

"Gerard is my brother. I really need to go. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Mikey. Its no-ones fault you have to go, I totally understand." I gave him a understanding smile and squeezed his wrist a bit. We went out of my room and walked down to the door. I watched him put on his jacket, before he turned and looked at me with sorrow in his eyes.

"Come with me, will you?" I couldn't say no. Not when he looked at me like that, so I put on my jacket and went over to the basement door.

"Mark, Bob, I'm just gonna go home to Mikey with him."

"But what about the practice?" Bob's face appeared at the end of the steps.

"I'm sorry, we can have it tomorrow. We really need to go." I looked over at Mikey who stood in the doorway, biting his nails with an anxiety look on his face. Bob saw the worried look on my face.

"That's all right, Mark and I can put up the shit, and will see you tomorrow?"

"Thank you Bob." I smiled at him to show what it meant to me, and turned around and walked over to Mikey. I grabbed his hand which was almost chocking him by the amount of nails he was biting, and squeezed it.

"Come on, let's go." He just nodded and held my hand tight.

The walk over too their house was mainly in silence, and when they came around the corner of the street and got a view of the house, it wasn't hard to see that something was really wrong. An ambulance stood parked outside at the driveway with the doors open. There was one guy outside waiting for us, and I could feel Mikey's hand slip away from my own as he started to ran towards the ambulance guy. My head was spinning, and I had never even met Gerard before, so I could only imagine what went through Mikey's head right now.

Mikey's POV

'Oh no oh no oh no, please don't say that he is dead. He couldn't be dead.' My heart was beating so fast, it felt as though it was bouncing right out of my chest. This was so not happening, I felt nauseous and dizzy when I ran as fast as I could towards the door. I was almost inside when two strong arms grabbed me from behind. I felt on the strong grip that it wasn't Frank, so I turned around and looked straight into an unfamiliar face, an ambulance guy.

"Let me go, I need to see him. My brother. Please let me go."

I struggled against the guy, but he was so big, I didn't stood a chance against him.

"Just calm down and listen to me Mikey."

I couldn't listen to him and I didn't want to listen to him. I just wanted to see Gerard, hear his voice telling me that everything is fine. Because everything had to be fine, right?

"No, I need to go inside, I need to see him. He needs to tell med that everything is fine!" I was facing the guy and I could see that Frank was behind him. He came over to me and grabbed my hand.

"Mikey, look at me. Just calm down and let the ambulance guy say what he has to say, ok?" I felt him squeeze my hand as he had done earlier, and I calmed myself down.

"Ok.." I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what was coming.

"Your brother has an accident. He told us, when he phoned 911, that he was in the bathroom and he suddenly felt this pain in his stomach, almost like someone was driving a knife right through it. He then fell and hit his head on the floor. He has lost a lot of blood, so we have to take him to the hospital to give him some blood and check out the stomach issue."

I was so scared and for every word the guy said, it got harder and harder to breath. I held on to Frank who stood there frozen with me in his arms.

"Can I see him?"

The guy was clearly uncomfortable by this situation, and that didn't made me calmer.

"So?"

"We had to make him sleep. He was in so much pain because of his stomach, so we did what we felt was best for him."

There was someone at the door, and soon they came out with Gee on the board. He looked so palled, much more palled than before. And he had tubes sticking out from his arm. I couldn't watch him, he looked so small and fragile. His face was porcelain like and his lips were blue almost purple. I looked at Frank, searched for his eyes. I needed to see those eyes, they had to tell me that everything was ok, even thug I knew it wasn't ok..

"We are leaving now, I'm sorry, but we can't take you guys in the ambulance. But you can drive behind us?" Frank nodded and I went inside to find the car keys. After looking the door, Frank and I hurried over to the car and drove to the hospital.

It was the longest drive I had ever had. Frank drove the car, and I just let my thoughts fly away.

Was Gee going to be ok? And what was Frank thinking right now? I hadn't told him about Gee, because we didn't had the time to do it yet. I knew a lot about him, but he didn't knew a lot about my living situation. We had to talk about it, I knew that much. And I wanted to tell him, I wanted him to know. Because he was something really special to me, someone I could trust my heart and soul too.

But my main concern, when we drove into the parking lot at the hospital, were was Gerard?


	11. A peak into the past

****Blondepotato: Oh, you will! If you keep reading till the end :D And I hope you will! This is just a short chapter, but important one none the less :)

**Chapter ten - A peek into the past**

**Mikey's POV**

I almost ran into the hospital and over to the older women at the information desk. Frank was parking the car, but it didn't take him long to follow me. I had just asked the women were Gerard was stationed, when he came over and took my hand. It felt so nice to have him there by my side, and to not be alone in all of this.

"He is in the ER." The women looked at her computer screen when she talked, and she was clearly reading from it.

"He is getting treatment right now." She looked up at us and smiled at us. It was a caring smile, a comforting one. She pointed over at an elevator.

"Just take that one 'till floor number three, and then you will see the waiting room. You just have to wait there till the doctor come out. They will know more than I do, I'm gonna phone them and tell them that you are on your way."

I took a good grip around Frank's hand and we went over to the elevator.

We took a seat at the waiting room. I was anxious and nervous, just hoping that Gerard was ok. Frank coughed and looked at me.

"You can just say no if you don't wanna talk, but can I ask you something?" I sighed happily.

"Frank, just talk to me, its way better to talk then too just sit here and wait in silence." I was still holding his hand, so I felt the urge to lean closer to him. Just to feel his calm body against mine. He let me and leaned towards me as well, stroking his thumb over my fingers.

"Ok, just remember that you don't have to answer, unless you want to. And I just wanna get to know you more, I don't wanna sneak around in your private life." He made his point by leaning forward and looking deep in my eyes. I laughed a shy laugh and nodded.

"I'm just gonna dive right in. Is it just you and Gerard? Like alone?" I was glad that the question got asked, actually, I almost got relieved.

"You know Frank, we are more alike then you think. Do you remember the first day I was over at your house, when I asked you about you home situation and you told me that your parents had died?" He nodded.

"Well, I said that I didn't know how it was to lose my parents, because... Well..." I didn't quite know how to put it, and I didn't want it to sound cheesy, so I had to think for a moment.

"Gerard and I really never had any parents." He looked down, kind of embarrassed about how he had put it out there. But it was done now, and he couldn't really take it back. He just peeked with one eye up on Frank who was sitting in deep thoughts.

"Ehm, I don't really get that. You must have had some parents? Or were you cloned or something?" He looked at me, curious, but also amazed.

"No, we had parents, but they just dumped us at this orphanage. Nobody knew who they were or where they are now." I looked over at Frank who was really struggling to make sense of it all.

"But, what about your last name?"

"We took that last name, made our own bloodline." My smile dropped when I mentioned bloodline, I had almost forgot that we were in the hospital, waiting to get news on how Gerard was doing. Frank saw my lost state and took his arm around me.

"Is Gerard very sick?" My gaze dropped when I heard the question, but I soon found the comforting eyes of Frank. I swallowed the lump on my throat and found the courage to speak again.

"Yes, he is very sick. He is diagnosed with AML, acute myelogenous leukemia. It's a rare and aggressive type of cancer, but he is getting on pretty well with the treatment. So we just have to have our finger crossed." Frank smiled to me with sad eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Mikey." He leaned in and gave me a hug. It felt so good hugging him, he was warm and smelt nice.

"Don't be, it's nothing we can do about it. We just have to deal with it, you know?" I felt him nod into my shoulder.

"I know."

"Mr. Way?" We pulled away from each other quickly by the voice of a male doctor.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm Dr. Santiago. And I have news about your brother."

I looked at him and tried my very best to figure out his facial expression, but he was a hard nut to crack. His eyes showed me support and pity, but nothing more. He didn't smile nor was he sad. And by the look of him and by his name, I guessed he was from Mexico. Quite young really, and good looking. But he had perfect english, so I guessed that he had been living here all of his life.

"Gerard is on the operation table, his spleen grew abnormally large and started to bleed. We mostly see that with patient who got chronic myelogenous leukemia, a slightly different version of AML. But we have had a few cases of what you brother experienced. It is serious, but he is stable at the moment. He is going to be in the operation room for another few hours, so if you want something to eat there is a nice cafeteria downstairs. Or if you want to go home we can call you when we are going to wake him up after the operation. It's your call." My brain was almost floating by all the information I got form the doctor, I tried to soak it all up and in, but I just came back to that one question.

"Is my brother going to be alright?"

"As it looks right now, he is a strong kid and we caught it at an early phase, so most likely he will make it through." I felt dizzy and everything went black. It was just a few seconds, but when I opened my eyes I felt two sets of arms holding me.

"Mikey, are you ok?" I look up in Frank's worried eyes. I tried to stand up, but my leg wouldn't.

"Come here, you can go into Gerard's room for a bit." I partly walked and partly got carried to a room, and laid down on a bed. A wet cloth was put on my forehead, it felt nice and cold.

"How are you feeling?" Frank was holding my hand and leaning over the bed.

"Really dizzy and tired." And I wasn't lying, I tried to look around but all I saw was two Frank's spinning around in the air. Whoa, that was too weird! I closed and my eyes and felt my thoughts drift away into the land of dizziness. I soon fell asleep and went over to the darkness. Sometimes I liked it there, and sometimes I didn't. Today it was ok, just darkness surrounding me and soon I felt two arms wrapping me up and letting me feel safe again.


	12. Keep the faith

Blondpotato: Aww, thank you so much! Your review really touched me :) I'm so glad you like the story so far! It's pretty emotional, and yes, those lines from the only hope for me is you, is actually really fitting! :) And I must say, that my writing technically, is improving for every chapter. I started this story back in 2010, and I'm writing the last few chapters now :) Weird that I'm almost done! And since this is such a short chapters and your such an awesome person, I will publish two chapters today! Hope you like! :D

**Chapter eleven - Keep the faith**

**Mikey's POV**

I woke up alone, in a big bed surrounded by white, sterile walls. Everything seemed so quiet, not even a whisper through the halls. I sat up and Dr. Santiago was back, he stood by my bed and Frank was with him. Something was wrong, I could feel it, and I could see it in their eyes. Big tears started to roll down my cheeks, quickly followed by Frank's gentle touch on my shoulder.

"No, please. Don't tell me. I don't wanna know..." I looked at Dr. Santiago with big teary eyes. He looked so sad, and I knew what he had to say.

"Mikey..."

"NO! DON'T!" I screamed from the top of my lungs. "I don't wanna know..." The last sentence came out as just a whisper.

"I'm so sorry, but you have to know. Gerard, he..." The doctor looked down on his shoes. They were white, just as the rest of his outfit. So much for the sterile white. It made me want to puke.

"He died last night. I'm so sorry we didn't inform you earlier, but it happened so fast. And after the incident with you yesterday, we wanted to let you sleep for a bit."

It felt as though his whole world fell apart. His big brother, his rock, his only support in life, was dead. How was he supposed to live after this? His head felt empty, but yet so full of thoughts. How was he supposed to climb the big mountains in life without some help from his big brother?

He couldn't hold back the sobs, he just fell apart right there on the hospital bed.

"Please, just kill me. It hurts too much, it feels like my heart is on fire. Take it out, please, just take it out!" The pain got too much, so he started to hit himself with his fist, in his face and on his chest. Maybe it would stop beating? He was waiving with his arms and screaming when someone grabbed his wrists.

"Mikey!"

What, who was that. It sounded as though someone was inside a bubble. And that voice, it was so familiar.

"Mikey, please!"

The voice sounded so sad and scared.

"Wake up!"

He opened his eyes and saw the teary eyes of a very scared Frank lying next to him. He was hugging him and holding his wrists down.

"You scared me so much Mikey, I think you had a bad dream?"

I was so reveled, it was just a dream.

It was just a dream.

My voice was shaky when I spoke.

"Yes, I d-dreamt that Ge-Gerard had d-d..." I couldn't even say the word out loud, but somehow Frank understood. He held me tight and stroked my hair.

"No, Mikey. I promise you he is not dead. Dr. Santiago came in and informed me that Gerard is still unconscious, but the operation went very well and that he is stable and they are gonna wake him up sooner today!" He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. I let out a big happy sigh and leaned into the hug even more.

"What's the time anyway?" I let go of Frank for a moment, and looked around me. The sun was shining through a window on the opposite side of the room, and I could hear the birds sing.

"6.30 in the morning." Frank yawned and stretched his arms. My stomach started to growl and I hushed it down. I heard Frank's soft giggle and I quickly turned around facing him on the bed again.

"How do you dare to giggle to my stomach like that?" I tried to be serious, but failed big time. My smile took over my face when Frank launched himself on top of me. He took a hold of my arms and pinned them down my sides. I was lying on my back, not fighting Frank's grip, but almost anticipating his next move. He looked me in the eyes when he lowered himself down my torso. I gasped, couldn't help it. He wasn't planning on doing what I thought he was going to do? I felt myself harden by the thoughts, and my tight black pants seemed to tighten a bit more.

'Oh my god'. It slept through my mind. And when the throbbing almost became too much, I felt Frank put the side of his face on my stomach. I started to growl again and he nodded to himself.

"Do you wanna get some food?" I lifted my head from the pillow, and shot a weird look towards him.

"Are you talking to my stomach?!" I couldn't help but laugh when Frank raised his head from my stomach.

"Yes, and its hungry. So we better get something to eat. But as I'm lying on your crotch, I can feel that you have a slightly more urgent problem to solve." He smirked at me, and I let out a shattered breathing.

"He he." I couldn't help but feel a bit nervous when Frank moved away from my stomach, gave me one dirty look and directed himself to my fly.

'He is not doing it, is he?' I thought when I felt his hand on my fly.

'Oh yes, he is...'


	13. Just give us a chance

****So, it gets a bit steamy in the hospital room ;) Warning: smut!

**Chapter twelve - Just give us a chance**

**Mikey's POV**

'Breath Mikey, breath!' But it was easier said than done. Frank had his hand on MY fly, and was looking at me with innocent puppy dog eyes. I was staring right back at him, with a more surprised and anxious look.

"Do you want to?" He asked quietly.

"Ehm, what do you mean?" I clearly knew what he meant, but I didn't know how far he was thinking. I felt him remove his hand, and I whimpered at him.

"I haven't said stop though." I smirked at him and leaned in for a kiss. He immediately parted his mouth and let me inside. I let my hand travel up his side and tangled it in his hair. It was soft, but sticky. I let my hand come through it and he suddenly pulled away.

"Dude, not the hair, please." He had a serious look on his face, but couldn't hold it in for long before he started to giggle like some teenage girl. Our heads fell together and our noses touched briefly.

"Mikey Fucking Way, do you know how amazing you are?" I closed my eyes with a small smile on my lips. I started to blush when he lifted my chin up with his gentle fingers. We were so close, so the only thing I could see was the light hazel color of his eyes. I let my fingers trace his cheek and nibbled at his earlobe.

"You don't mean that." I laughed it of but couldn't help but feel so damn special right there and then. I had never had a boy or a girl for that sake, say something like that too me. Well, Gerard told me everyday how lucky he was to have me as his brother, but that don't really count. I do love him, but I'm not IN love with him. But Frank was I in love with Frank? We had barley known each other for a week, and here I was, all tangled up and snogging. And god, it felt so fucking amazing.

''I don't speak lies Mikey, I always mean every word I say.'' His words woke me up from my little world of thoughts. And as he laid me down on the bed again, I felt his hand hovering over my fly yet again. My stomach jumped in anticipation, as he looked me deep in the eyes.

''Mikey, you know that I would never ever hurt you?''

''I know that Frank, and I would never hurt you as well.'' I thought for a second.

''On the second hand, if you ever laugh at me in gym, I will hurt you so bad that you wont be able to sit or lay down for weeks.''

''Is that a treat, Mr. Way?'' We both carried a playful look on our faces.

''I guess it is, Mr. Iero.''

''I better behave then.'' He leaned in closer to my body and kissed me with tender lips. I couldn't help but moan when I felt him slowly pull my fly down. I was so hard, and just the feeling of his lips against mine and his hand nearly inside my pants at this point, it just got a bit to much for me.

"Frank..." I gasped and pulled away from him. He gave me surprised look.

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry Mikey." He looked down and I regretted my actions.

"No, Frank. You are just... Wonderful. It's not you,"

"It's me? I have heard that before Mikey. I'm not stupid you know." He sat up, and I could see that he was upset, and I didn't like that feeling. I didn't mean to make him sad or upset in any way. I cared so much about him. I tried to find the right words, but it was difficult. I had never been in a situation like this before, and even though it thrilled me, it was so scary. And even more scary when I didn't know what Frank had in mind. I didn't want to disappoint him or make him uncomfortable. I just had to tell him the truth, even though it was embarrassing. But this wasn't a sort of thing you could not tell.

"Frank, it really is me. I swear, and I wanna tell you, but you must promise not to laugh at me. Alright?" I was dead serious.

"Ok, sure, I won't laugh."

I took a deep breath.

"I'm kinda a virgin, in everything really. Even kissing is new too me."

I looked down, scared too look at Franks face. What would he think of me? I had never done anything like this before, I was 16 years old, but had never even kissed someone. I got all red and hot in my face, when I felt two hands cupping my cheeks and tilt my head upwards.

"Mikey, that's perfectly fine! I don't care if you are a virgin or even if you have been a porn star!" I couldn't help but giggle when he said that last word. He let a chuckle out of his mouth as well, and smiled his gorgeous smile.

"I just wanna say that I don't care what you have done or not done, I like you. I like your very much and if you don't wanna do those sort of things just yet, I understand. I really do. Because…

I think I'm in love with you. From the first day I saw you sitting at the canteen at school, there was just something about you, you are just perfect. You know that?"

He didn't let me answer that question before blurting out more words.

"And your eyes, when I look into them it feels like I'm looking right into your heart. And you have one big heart, Mikey. And all the shit that you have gone through, with your parents and Gerard. I don't know how you do it Mikey, I sure wouldn't have had the courage or sanity to do that. You are a fucking hero, and I'm so glad that you want me, of all persons. Because I'm nothing, you know? I don't have the looks or the height, certainly not the height." He sighted and let go of my face. I could see the pain in his eyes when he mumbled the last line.

"And with no parents."

My heart was nearly burning in my chest, all the emotions was tough too handle at that point.

"Frank, don't say that! I will never hear you say such words again. You are an amazingly talented and so perfectly shaped guy, and... I-i.. Think I'm in love with you too." I had tears in my eyes at that point. Frank was so wrong about himself, and he just had to know it.

"I just can't explain it, but I have always been so shy because of the hole kidnaping thing. So to bond with people is very difficult for me. It took me a few months just to feel somewhat comfortable talking to my shrink. But with you, you have this calmness around you, even though it feels like you have ADD sometimes." He gave me a small smile.

"I feel like we are made for each other, and I didn't even know that I was gay or bi before I met you. And I hope that you will try this out, I mean try us out, for just some time. Maybe it's not meant to be after all, and maybe it is. I hope it is though, I really hope, and I do believe it's meant to be."

I leaned in for another one of his amazing kisses and he responded, moving our lips together in perfect harmony. I was still half-hard, even without lack of attention towards that area, and I knew that Frank felt my throbbing, even though I had my jeans on.

"Please Frank, I wanna do something, if you don't mind that is." I whispered in his ear, and felt him shiver from my hot breath. He sucked my neck, but from my words he removed himself and looked me deep in the eyes.

"Ehm, Mikey. I don't wanna have sex with you, not yet. Not here, it doesn't feel right. And I think it is too soon." I didn't know if I was relieved or disappointed, but he was right. I didn't want to rush things, so I smiled back, but let out a little sight of frustration.

"Then I need to use the bathroom, because my hard-on is aching so much right now, and I.."

"Shh, I said I didn't wanted to have SEX, but that doesn't mean that we can't fix that problem. I have other ways to do that, if you want to that is." He slowly pushed me down in the bed and straddled my legs. I nearly shivered by anticipation.

"Hell yeah, Frank." He smirked and soon I felt his hands unbutton my jeans. My fly was still down, so soon he had me stripping down to my boxers. I felt him slightly stroking my erection through the fabric and I was already moaning his name. I was not unfamiliar to the whole maturation thing, I did it nearly every night. Hormones baby, that's some nasty shit. But I didn't know how good it was to have someone else doing the same thing. It felt amazing, and I still had my boxers on. I felt Frank's fingers nibble at the lining of my boxers. I nodded eagerly as I felt him pull them down and revile my now fully hard erection.

I peeked up at Frank and the look on his face made me giggle. He kinda looked like a little boy on a candy store.

"Enjoying yourself?" I smirked at him, and we connected eyes.

"Oh baby, you have no idea." He licked his lips and I saw his hand touch my "down there" member, and when he grabbed it and started to pump me I nearly saw stars.

"Oh my god."

"Is it ok?"

"OK? It's more than ok, it's heavenly, and it's better than I could ever imagine." He continued to pump me and all I could really do was moan out. I tried to suppress and hold back my moans, since we were at the hospital, but damn, it was tough. And when Frank ran his thumb over my slit, I arched my back and had to bite the pillow to try and not scream out. Frank's hand was doing an amazing job, and since this was my first time I knew that I wouldn't hold much longer. And when I felt his lips connect with mine again and his hand running up and down, and his thumb over my slit, I couldn't help but feeling my stomach tie itself, and that oh-so good feeling settling down in the center of my tommy going down to my erection.

"Oh, Frankie. I'm sorry, but this is to good." I tried to breath, but the air came out in gasps, and when I felt Frank's lips on the tip of my cock, sliding his tongue down, I knew that I was coming. My hand automatically grabbed Frank's hair when I felt that amazing bliss feeling run through my body. I bit my lip, but a high moan manage too slip through it as I came hard and fast.

"Are you ok?" Frank pulled himself upwards my body, dragging the duvet with him, until he was face to face with my blissful appearance again.

"Fucking great." I smiled and traced my finger around his lips.

"Do you want me to do you then?" I smirked and dragged my finger slowly down his body.

"Only if you want to, I don't wane pressure you into something you are not comfortable with."

"No, I wanna do it. I wanna hear you moan out my name."

Suddenly the door was opened, and a nurse walked inside of it.

"Good, your awake."


	14. The Way You Make Me Smile

****Blondepotato: Thank you! :D And yes, I moved christmas to august, just for you :* ha ha! So, new chapter up! This is fluffy and Frikey is so cute I can't even :D ha ha! I love my Frikey :) Hope you love it too!

**Chapter thirteen - The way you make me smile**

**Frank's POV**

I was painfully hard at that point. Jerking Mikey of, and then anticipation the same action done to me, was beginning to be too much for my sorry cock. But then that nurse had to walk in. She seemed surprised at the position we were in, me on top of Mikey, but she held hear face and just smiled at us. I quickly rolled away from Mikey, and we both gave her a quick smile back.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but do you want something to eat?" She smiled and tried not to stare. I just giggled and poked Mikey in his stomach, we were still under the covers of the duvet, so she couldn't see the small action I did, but Mikey surely felt it. He giggled and tried to grab my hand.

"Yeah, sure! That sounds good." Mikey's voice came out in a quick breath, trying not to laugh too loudly.

"Ok, I'll bring some in, and then the doctor is gonna come and check on you and tell you guys the news on how your brother is doing. But don't worry, its very good news! You have 30 minutes." She winked and turned around, and locked the door behind her. I let out the biggest sigh and let my body fall down on the pillow.

"I don't wanna sound cheeky or pedo-like right now, but man, I'm so throbbing down there! It feels like my balls are gonna fall of! So much for teenage hormones." I quickly glared at Mikey who had the biggest smirk on his face. He let his middle finger trace over my chest and made a little heart just above my own very alive heart, which was setting the world record in pumping blood too my only organ that seemed to function right now. My gaze was following his finger as it slowly moved down my clothed upper torso. He made a whining noise, and pulled his hand towards him. He crossed his arms over his chest and starred at me with an insulted and thinking expression.

"That shirt is SO in the way." With no warning I sat up and let him pull it of off me in one motion before he tossed it on the floor.

"Ops, lost it." He smiled innocent before softly pushing me down on the pillow again.

"Mm-Mikey..." His hands were all over my chest when he kissed me with much passion and lust. I had trouble breathing, and it came out in gasps as he started to nibble at my neck. That was one of my soft spots, and I could feel his tongue and his lips, sucking and making noises and pleasure. I couldn't help but moan as he gently put butterflies kisses towards my nipple.

"I thought you hadn't done this before." I managed to half moan and sigh. He lifted his head a little from my right nipple and looked me in the eyes with the most adoring and childlike eyes.

"Dude, I'm not a retard even though I'm a virgin. I have watched porn and practiced on watermelons and pillows."

"What? Oh my god, you are so cute! You know that?" I kissed his forehead and stroked his cheek.

"Show me what you got then." I challenged him with hungry eyes. He leaned into my ear and whispered.

"Even though I have practiced on watermelons, your are so much more alive then that fruit, so don't be to hard on me, it's my first time giving anything." I felt bad after his statement, but when he looked me in the eyes with a dirty look, I knew he was just joking. My smile grew bigger as he directed his hand to my thigh. So close, but yet so far away. I had to take two big breaths of air when he continued his exploration around my very tight boxer. His hand just hovering over the line of them.

"Can I?" Mikey didn't look me in the eyes, he was just staring at his hand.

"You can clearly see the state I'm in, so please man, just go for it." I had a nervous laugh as he nodded and took a hold of my briefs and pulled them down. His eyes widened when the boxers came all the way of off me.

"You know, I was kinda afraid that I was gonna be to nervous and to scared to even be able to go this far with you Frankie. But now as you are completely naked under me, and I'm able to control you, I'm not so terrified that I thought I would be. You just make me so comfortable." He leaned in with a hand on my hip and one hand on my chest, and kissed me deeply. It was one of the best kisses I had ever had, and it made me see stars.

"Oh, Mikey, what the hell is so fucking special about you?" I couldn't stop staring at him. His perfect pointy nose, his pale skin and his amazing brown eyes. I stared at him as he went lower again and slowly wrapped a hand around my erection. He held a firm grip as he slid his hand up and down. I was so reviled that he had finally started some kind of touch, and I was really struggling to keep my moans inside.

"Are you ok?"

"Ok? If I'm ok? I'm fucking great, Mikey! You are so good." I manage to moan out.

"Because you are kinda turning blue." He giggled and bit his lower lip. I realized that I was holding my breath because of the high pitch moans I wanted to scream out.

He kept on exploring with his hand, and I could feel his confident grow, as his grip got firmer around me. He would let his thumb slid over my slit a few times, and then pump me, before squeezing med tightly with his hand.

"Are you sure this is your first time doing something to another guy?" It got breathed out from me, and I could see Mikey's concentrated face nearly glow.

"So I'm doing good?"

"Baby, you are amazing." I knew how I looked, upper torso slightly up and balanced on my elbows, looking at him with a dopy gaze.

He then did something that completely threw me off guard and I couldn't hold myself up anymore. I fell down on the madras and felt Mikey lick up my length with his tongue. I felt the wetness and soon I felt the hotness of his mouth. I gasped and my toes started to curl. He sucked and licked, while he pumped down my base.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god..." I felt the blissful sensation, and how my muscles started to contract down in my stomach. I was so gonna come if he kept doing that, and I couldn't even say something to warm him. I inhaled lots of air before my whole body tensed up.

"Mikey, I'm gonna..." And then I saw stars as I came, I could feel Mikey pull away after I was done.

"You don't taste to bad, you know that? But you are the only guy or person I have ever tasted before, but I was sure I was gonna gag or something." He said when he climbed back up to reach my face.

"Ha ha, thank you! I'm flattered." I winked at him.

"Now, maybe we should get dressed? Even though I wanna stay in bed with you all day long, but we really need to go and check up on Gerard and then eat some breakfast. I don't wanna have you all faint again." I kissed his nose tip after the statement, and giggled when he wrinkled his nose and closed his eyes.

"Thank you, Frank."

"No problem. No, get of me so we can put some clothes on."

The doctor came in some time later after we had eaten a rather gross looking, but not so bad tasting hospital breakfast. We where both sitting in the bed, over legs over the side, Mikey's were positioned on the floor, while mine didn't reach the floor yet.

"So, how are you feeling today Mikey?" Dr. Santiago felt his forehead and took up his stethoscope.

"Not too bad, not like yesterday. Actually, I feel pretty good." He smiled and blushed.

"Have you experienced something like this before?"

"Yes, I have. It feels like my brain is shutting of when I've been very stressed or emotional, it's not as bad as it was before though. Just very small things could trigger it, but now I know how to handle it and it's not as dominant as before." I took his hand, he was shaking, and I wanted to let him know that I was there.

"That's good. I just wanna listen to your lungs, but I think your fine. Just, as you said, many things happening in one time and your brain just you of to spare you from the emotions that builds up. But if you could just lift your shirt?" I watched Mikey lift it and dr. Santiago listened to his lungs and heartbeat.

"Well, it was like I thought, healthy as a horse. But I think you are a bit skinny, but you are still young." He smiled and gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze.

"We are gonna wake Gerard up know, do you guys wanna be there then?" I didn't really know what to say, I had never even met Gerard, so it felt a bit weird to come along to something so private.

"I can just wait here Mikey." It felt like the right thing to do, but when Mikey turned around and looked me in the eyes, I saw that he was frightened.

"No, I want you to come with me Frank. I can't do this alone, not now. Please?"

I couldn't say no to those eyes, so I said yes, and before I knew it we were in the room watching how Gerard was wired up with a ton of cables, beeping things and heart monitor. Bags of blood and clear liquid was hanging and providing him with much needed stuff. It was a terrifying scene and he seemed so small and fragile the way he was laying with two doctors and three nurses around him. And then there was Mikey, and myself. Holding hands and climbing onto each other, waiting for Gerard to wake up.


	15. Lights

**Blondepotato: **Aww, Frank is really short. And I didn't really recognize it before I met them, he's not much taller than me, and I'm like 5'4-5'5 :P ha ha! Oh my, practicing with watermelons. It sounds more dirty than it is! ha! You should try and kiss one, just peel it first :) ha ha!

**Chapter fourteen - Lights**

**Gerard's POV**

Everything was white and the light stung in my eyes. It wasn't painful to open them though, the light was almost talking to me, like it wanted me to join it. So I opened them as much I as could and looked around me.

I was lying in a hospital bed, everything around me was pure white and looked so beautiful. I wanted to sit up to have a better look around me but someone was holding me down. Holding a steady palm on my chest while holding a good grip around my wrist. I tried to get lose, but it only resulted in a tighter grip. And with more pressure on my chest, the more I struggled to breath. I only managed to get my lungs half filled with air. I opened my mouth and tried to speak up, but my mouth was already full with something. It tasted like rubber and I started to panic when I noticed the tick tube that was sticking out of my throat. I wanted it out, it wasn't painful, but it was uncomfortable and I had never liked to have things down my throat. Well, who liked that anyway? I tried to lift my left hand and hit the person that was holding me down, but when I tried to move it, pain shot through my body. From my toes straight up to my head. It felt as though I was being electrocuted, like a lightning running through me. I tried to scream, but everything that came out was a pathetic air sound, and some tears running down my cheeks. I felt so helpless and weak, why couldn't the person holding me down, just let me go? More tears kept rolling down and making wet spots on the pillow.

"Why is he crying? Is he in pain? And why are you holding him down?"

Mikey? Was Mikey there? I tried to struggle, but the grip just got tighter.

"He has to lay still and not sit up, because of the operation wound. The stitches must have some more time to heal, so he must stay down. But it seams like he is delusional and don't know where he is, so we just have to hold him still until he is fully with us."

Wait, what? Operation? He didn't know what to think, he couldn't remember a thing, but he calmed down by the sound of Mikey's voice. It was soothing to hear that his brother was there, even though he hated that he had to see him like this. So weak and vulnerable, it was so not like him at all. Well, he had never been the popular football kid at school, or the basketball guy playing his final game for a scholarship. No, he had just been himself. The weird guy in the back of the classroom, drawing his guts out. That was almost all he would ever do, draw. And sing of course, he wrote songs. He had nearly written a whole album, and with Mikey playing bass, they had gotten some sort of a melody as well. He loved those times, just the two of them living in the house they had gotten from the government. Why did he have to get sick? Life was so unfair sometimes. The grip on his chest wasn't that tight anymore and his wrist was freed.

"Gerard, I'm going to remove the tube in your throat now, could you take a deep breath and then cough when I count to three?" He nodded, blinking away the tears.

"One, two, three." I coughed as much as I managed, but when the tube came up my throat, I gagged and almost threw up from it. It was so uncomfortable.

"Great job, Gerard. Here, take some water." I drank it down my sore throat. He actually managed to focus on the persons standing there, the doctor and a nurse, and a bit behind them was Mikey. He was holding hands with this boy, very cute and short. I had to smile, this was Frank. It had to be Frank, last time I spoke with Mikey I could just feel that he was falling in love with him. But if this wasn't Frank, then my brother was such a player. I laughed out loud when I thought about my brother becoming a player, he was way to nice.

"Gerard?" A cold hand grabbed mine, and I shivered. He was always so cold and way to skinny, I on the other hand was blessed with a lot more body weight. I wasn't fat, just normal. Well at least before I got sick, now the cancer just had tore every pound of fat from my body, leaving me with bones sticking out and no appetite.

"You are too skinny, Mikey. You need to put on some weight, I don't want you to get sick. I love you so much, and I don't wanna lose you." I looked up at him and could see that he had to blink some tears away.

"I know, Gee. I know. I love you too, I was so scared when you phoned me, and I thought you were going to die." He had those puppy eyes, the one that I had trouble saying no too.

"I'm sorry I scared you, I just wanted you to know so that you didn't came home to an empty house. I don't want you to be alone, no matter what happens." I was just so drained of energy, and I still couldn't remember what had happened.

"We are gonna leave you alone, but I'll be right outside if you guys need something." Dr. Santiago smiled and walked outside followed by the nurse. I saw him close the door, and looked back at Mikey. He had his mouth slightly open and ready to speak.

"When I saw you got carried into the ambulance, and they had to sedate you. It was so terrifying." He let out a shaky breath as he took my hand gently in his hands, I closed my eyes by his touch and nodded by his words. There was a little pause, which Mikey used to wipe away some tears, before he spoke up again.

"There is someone here I want you to meet." I opened my eyes again and saw Mikey's so familiar little awkward smile.

"This is Frank." He turned around and gestured with his hand towards the boy that I felt I knew by just one look at him. He gently smiled at me and walked over and took his place next to Mikey. He held his hand towards me to greet me. I smiled back and grabbed his hand, it was tiny and delicate, but strong.

"Hi, Frank. It's so nice to finally meet you!"

"It's really nice to meet you too, even though I can't really say that I have heard a lot about you." He poked Mikey in the ribs, who just smirked back and hit his hand away.

"I just haven't had the time to tell everything yet before we kinda sat here at the hospital." Mikey blushed and suddenly found his awkward knees worth looking at. I just suppressed a giggle, because frankly, it was too painful to laugh. It felt like my body had fallen down six floors, and then got run over by a car. Everything hurt and I was too tired. And even though I loved having Mikey and Frank here, I was in real need of some rest.

"But guys, I would really like to have my notebook and drawing sketch. Could you get them for me?" I didn't feel the need to write or draw, but I didn't have the heart to just tell them to go out so I could sleep. Even though I knew they would understand, but I also knew that I had just woken up from god knows how long I had been out, and that Mikey was eager to talk. He had that look on his face that told me he had a lot on his heart. He gently nodded and smiled at me, squeezing my hand lightly.

"We can come back when you had some rest." Damn, he knew me to well.

"Ok, kid." I winched at him, making him giggle and pull me into a brotherly hug.

"Love you man." I hit him softly on his shoulder when we pulled apart, and motioned for Frank to come closer.

"Take care of him, will you? Till I come around again that is."

"Yeah, of course. He means a lot to me already. He is really special." He looked over at Mikey who was all squirming like a girl, giggling and partly hiding his face in his palm.

"Oh my god Mikey, you are such a girl sometimes!" I couldn't help but mock him, I was his big brother, and that's what we do. Right?

"Oh, shut it Gerard. And you're the one to speak." He took Frank's hand and cuddled up next to him. I couldn't help but smile like a total retard at the sight in from of me, they were too cute together.

"Aw, Kodak moment! Say cheese!" I mimicked the action of getting a fiction camera up from under my hospital gown, getting it ready and taking that damn cute picture. Mikey made a face, sticking his tongue out and grabbing Frank's ass and made him jump and hit Mikey in the head.

"Ouch, Frank! You gotta kiss my head now, and blow on it, because that really hurt." He pointed to the spot were Frank hit him and leaned down towards him, because I must say that Frank would have to jump to reach up to Mikey's head. He got the hint, and leaned in to kiss his head, but as he was just inches away Mikey suddenly turned his head around and planted a kiss on Frank's lips.

"Awww! Another Kodak moment!" I squirmed and took up my "camera" again. Mikey smirked at me and Frank blushed while looking like he just died and went to heaven.

"Now kids, get of off each other and go and get my stuff." I waved them with my hand towards the door, and they got the hint pulling away just a few inches, but still brushing against each other.

"Ok, bro. We'll be back in a few hours, is there anything else that you want?"

"A boyfriend maybe? Maybe Frank has got some friends?" I joked while I felt my eyelids nearly falling down on their own. I heard Mikey laugh as he walked over to me.

"Are you ok, Gee?"

"It just feels like I have been drenched by a fucking vampire and then eaten by a werewolf, and then saved by a unicorn." I couldn't help but giggle at the images popping up in my head. Fuck, what had they given me? I felt freaking high. Mikey and Frank giggled.

"We'll be going now, see you later." Mikey bended down and hugged me. I looked at Frank who stood awkwardly next to Mikey. I smiled at him and stretched my arms to him.

"You are not leaving this room without a hug you know." He smiled and gave me a hug.

"Uh, Mikey. He smells nice." Frank just shrugged and laughed, and we pulled out of the hug.

"You are just jealous that I caught him first." He smirked and grabbed Frank's hand and pulled him towards the door.

"Bye, Gee. See you!"

"Bye!"

I sighed and rolled over on my side, careful to not pull on all of the wires sticking out everywhere. I didn't feel the pain anymore, well I kinda didn't feel a thing really. Everything was numb and that was all right for me, it was better to don't feel a thing then to feel the pain. I felt my eyelids close down on me, the power to hold them up were gone. And soon I slipped away into dreamy wonderland.


	16. The Haunted Past

**Chapter fifteen - The haunting past**

**Frank's POV**

"So, what do you think abut Gerard?" Mikey casually blurted out when we were back in the car driving towards their house. I made a thinking face and got a giggle from Mikey who peeked at me from the drivers seat.

"What?" I questioned him through a smile.

"You are just to cute for your own good." Mikey focused on the road, and slightly ignored my look.

"Well, for a guy that almost died from blood lost yesterday, he sure as hell kept his mood up. And just the way he spoke and acted, I feel like I have known him forever. I could clearly see and feel that you two are brothers. The same look in your eyes, and the trustful feeling you guys give, I just feel so safe around you. So what I'm trying to say, is that I really like Gerard." After saying that line, I searched after Mikey's hand.

It was resting on his thigh, and I could feel him tense a bit when I grabbed it. I gently tugged it towards me, and felt him relax into the touch.

"But it's you I like-like."

I didn't want to say the love-word yet, it's such a powerful word. Just imagine that four letters can mean so much. There were just two persons I have ever said the word to, and that was my mom and dad. Oh god, how I missed them. Right after they died, I would wake up at the mornings and just forget that they were gone. It was a huge blow in the face when I realized that I didn't have any birthparents anymore. My heart just broke into tiny fucking pieces. I thought that no person in this whole wide world could fix my broken state that I had to live like this forever.

But then I met Mikey, and now I can slowly start to feel that my heart is healing. It was almost like Mikey found and glued the pieces back together.

I had been looking at our hands intertwining as we sat in a peaceful silence, just absorbing everything that had happened. I couldn't help but smile as my thoughts went back to this morning. I had never in my life had such an intimate time with someone before. Well, I gotta admit that I'm not a virgin. I had been fucked, and fucked someone before, only guys though. I had never had the nerve to go over to girls, and I wasn't sure if I like girls that much.

But the times I had had sex, it was more of a one-night stand, and it was just fucking, nothing more. It didn't mean anything to me, even though admitting it, it made me feel like a whore, a cheap man whore. But I had really tried to fall in love, just wanting that feeling of seeing someone and get all butterflies in my stomach and lightheaded, almost feeling high, but without the hangover.

I shrugged. Never again, no drugs, nu-hu. Not after that night on the bench. Besides, I had something else now, something to take away the pain and the thoughts that kept lying buried deep down in my mind. And that something didn't really make me proud at all, but it felt to good to pass up. I couldn't help but think of the words that always creeped through my head. I was a failure, a fuck up, and nothing I had done with my life so far was something to brag about. Except for Mikey, he was the exception, and a fucking perfect one.

"Are you ok?" Mikey's worried voice broke the silence in the car.

"Yeah, just thinking." I gave him a weak smile.

"Do you wanna tell me?" He looked at me with big eyes that almost swallowed me hole. I couldn't face him right now, so I looked down at the floor in the car, studying the slit carpet that hadn't been cleaned for a while.

"Don't get mad, but not really. Not now. I just don't feel ready to tell anyone about this just yet."

"Hey Frank, I totally understand that. And I wont get mad at you. It's your private thoughts, and it's your choice to share them with others. I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you wanna talk."

"Thank you Mikey."

I was lifting my gaze up from the floor, when I suddenly saw this monster of a trailer coming towards us. I kept telling myself that it wasn't in our file, that it kept driving in it's own file. 'Just relax, just relax.' I had a death grip around the handle on the passenger door, and without me even noticing, I was holding my breath. I was so scared when I saw the monster coming closer and closer. I wanted to scream, I wanted Mikey to stop the car and pull out of the way. My heartbeat was racing, faster then we were driving, and I felt the anxiety and the panic raise. I nearly jumped out of my seat when Mikey touched my hand.

"Frank, what's up? Why are you trying to kill my door?" His worry was written all over his face as he slowed down the car a bit.

My voice and tongue was almost chocking in my throat when I tried to make a sound. My arm that was holding tight around the handle started to shake because of the lack of air to the muscles. And all I could say was;

"Mikey, stop the car." It just came as a whisper, almost like a hot breeze.

"What are you saying?"

With a bit more force in my voice I managed to choke out the words.

"Mikey, stop the car."

He looked like a breathing question mark as he didn't respond right away.

"MIKEY, PLEASE, stop the car. We are gonna die if you don't pull out of the way. I wanna get out, let me out." I tried to open the door as Mikey quickly pulled over to the side. I got the door open and nearly threw myself out of the seat in near panic. Safely on the ground, lying on my stomach, I covered my ears and let out an awful scream as the trailer drove past us. The blood was pulsing in my ears, but I was safe. For now though.

"Frank, Frank! What are you doing? Are you alright?" Mikey came running around the car, almost moving like the speed of a vampire. He kneeled down at my side and pulled my shaking body into a hug. I struggled against him for a few seconds, before realizing that it was Mikey trying to comfort me. I sobbed into his shoulder, nearly choking on my breath. My whole body was breaking down from the crying and I couldn't hold myself up.

We sat there for what seemed like hours, Mikey holding on to me, stroking my back with his delicate fingers, and I was holding onto him almost as if it was depending on life or death.


	17. When you truly know how you feel

**Blondepotato: So sorry for the long wait! But I'm back on track, and posting two chapters today :D Hurray! Hope you're still with me though :)**

**Chapter sixteen - When you truly know how you feel**

**Frank's POV**

When my breathing became more regular and my sobbing slowly dying away, Mikey let go of me slowly.

"Ready to go home?" His voice was so soothing to my system, so I nodded with relief. Mikey took a hold of my wrist and waist, and helped me up on my trembling feet. I almost felt sick when I stumbled to the car, only managing to not fall over my Mikey's grip on me.

When I was safely put in the car and had my seat belt on, Mikey looked at me with his amazing brown eyes. They were almost swallowing me hole at one point, he was so intense. I had a feeling that he was trying to read my mind, trying and needing to figure me out. And I would really let him trying to make his way into my mind, but we needed to get home first.

"Mikey, we can talk when we come home. Ok?" My voice was low, but he understood the hint in my voice, almost pleading him to take me home to the safe surroundings.

"Ok, I'll take you home. Is my place ok?"

"I wouldn't be anywhere else right now." My mouth was bending upwards in a tiny smile. Mikey leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine in a small and loving kiss.

"I like-like you as well, Frankie." My heart was nearly melting by his words and the way he made me feel his love. He went over to the driver's side and started up the car, driving slowly and steady. I couldn't help but cuddle up into a little ball in the seat, hiding my face and my eyes from the road. I didn't want to see the vehicles pass us, and knowing that that was the last thing my parents saw.

It wasn't long until Mikey pulled into the driveway, killing the engine right away. He then quickly went over to my side again, and helped me of with the seatbelt. I had been shaking the hole way home, and felt really sick. It felt like my stomach was traveling up my throat when Mikey gently tugged me out from the seat. I staggered to my feat, my legs shaking by my bodyweight and threatening to collapse. He managed to get me into the house, and straight to the bathroom. It was almost like he could read my mind, that we were one, and he knew that I had to be close to the toilet, because I would be puking out my guts in no time, hanging over the side of the toilet only supported by Mikey's hand that were holding around my waist and gently wiping away my long hair from my face. The sweat was dripping from my face as I emptied myself, and shivers ran through my body, giving me an aftershock of coldness.

Mikey gently wiped my face with a cloth, and then leading me to his bedroom. He then pulled of my sweat-clenched clothes, and found a pair of his PJ's and an old, comfy t-shirt. They felt clean and nice on my body, and lying there between Mikey's sheets with the owner himself wrapped me up in a hug, I've soon drifted into sleep.

_'I had never been here before, I thought while looking around myself, I noticed that I was standing in a forest. It was dark outside, the only light that could be seen was from the moon shining through the tall, massive trees, casting shadows as far as I could see. _

_I was starting to wonder why I was here, was there any purpose, was I dreaming or was this real? I didn't know. I tried to pinch myself, but that just made me more confused. It did hurt, no doubt about that, but did that mean that I wasn't dreaming? And how in the fuck sake had I managed to get my ass into this forest? I was bend confused, and reach into my pockets to find my phone. But no luck there either. Crap, I must have left it back home. _

_After standing still for a few minutes, I started to move through the dark trees, trying and needing to find my way out. I started to feel my panic raise, not because I was afraid of the dark, I was more worried of the spiders that lurked underneath the rocks, ready to launch themselves at me. The big furry type, with the long legs and the big fang teeth sticking out with lots of venom. I didn't want to be Spiderman at the moment, so I started to run as fast as my short legs could carry me. Through the trees, over the rocks and under the branches. I ran till my lounges couldn't take it anymore, and that was when I saw him. Lying in a pile of moss, his beautiful face pale as snow, his eyes closed and mouth slightly open. He was a work of art, just so beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes of off him, just breathing him in with each breath. I slowly moved towards him, taking every step like it was my first. It looked like he was sleeping, but he could be dead. _

_When I came closer, just standing one step away from him, I saw the read liquid and felt the iron smell in the air. I nearly jumped him and pulled him into a hug, resting his head in my lap. I pressed my palm on the wound in the chest right above his heart, blocking the blood that wanted to escape his body._

_"Mikey, Mikey! Wake up! Please... Mikey, I need you to wake up!" I felt my breathing nearly stop when I didn't get any response from him. I leaned my tear-wet face towards his mouth, quietly listening after any form of a breath. My ear was almost touching his mouth when I felt it, a hot and weak wind coming from his lounges. I sighed in relief when I tried to shock him awake._

_"Frank?" He was so weak, trying to grasp my hand in his._

_"I'm here Mikey." I leaned closer to him, needing to feel him there in my arms._

_"Frank... Run! It's not safe here, please, safe yourself, I don't want you to die as well. You are to important." _

_"NO, Mikey! I'm not going without you. I-i... Love you."_

_"Frankie, I love you too, but that's why you gotta listen to me. Please, you can't save me, it's already to late for me. I'm almost gone, but you can live your life, you still have the chance to live it." My head fell down on Mikey's shoulder, my sobbing was making me to weak to hold it up._

_"Mikey, don't you understand. You are the most important person in my life. I would rather die then live without you." My tears were staining his shirt and I drooled on his shoulder when I spoke. He made a little giggle when he saw my drooling, and I had to giggle along side with him, but we soon went back to the seriousness in this situation. _

_"Please Mikey, just let me carry you to a hospital." I started to lift him a little, but he screamed out in agony._

_"No, no! He is coming back soon, you gotta run, run now. This is just a trap, he wants you, not me. It's you he wants, I'm just a bate. Leave now, Frankie. Leave!" Mikey pushed me while tears were rolling down his cheeks. His eyes were sore and read, and his strength was slowly fading. His arms fell down his side and his pupils looked more like glass, I knew he was slipping._

_"Hold on, Mikey. Please.." My palm was just resting over his heart, as I felt it's beating slow down. "Mikes, I don't wanna lose you. I love you.." _

_"Frank.." He used his last strength to form the words. "I love you, and remember.. Keep running." His body took a last breath and he fell into a forever black universe. The only thing you could hear was the heartbroken sobs from Frank, while he rocked his only love back and forth in his arms. His heart wasn't broken anymore, it was completely shattered.. He closed his eyes and just felt the warm from Mikey's body disappear, and the coldness take its place.._

"Frank?" Someone was touching his shoulder, warmth spread through his body, he shivered by the mixture of hot and cold.

"Wake up, Frank, wake up. It's ok, I'm here." Someone was hugging him and shock some life back into him.

"What?" Frank opened his eyes to see Mikey's fully alive eyes, looking back at him with tears boiling up.

"I think you had a nightmare, you were screaming my name in your sleep, and crying like someone had died." He looked down with sad eyes, resting his gaze on my hands clenching the sheets. My breath started to slow down after a few minutes, and I felt safe enough to speak.

"I dreamt that you died Mikey, it was so horrible. I can't imagine how it would be like to live without you." We met gazes as we went into a passionate kiss, lips parted immediately to let the tongue explore the mouth, all the ridges and bumps. It was clearly the best kiss we had ever shared, and I couldn't help but smile.

"I love you Mikey."

"I love you Frank."

It felt right to say it, in that moment of time. And theoretically, I had said it one time before, even though it was in my dream.


	18. Love Sign

**Blondepotato: All for you sweetie! :D**

**Chapter seventeen - Love sign**

**Frank's POV**

"So, are you ready to talk now?" After I woke up from the nightmare, Mikey and I had just stayed in bed, cuddled up against each other. We had just kissed, and at one point I had snuggled my hand up underneath Mikey's shirt, to feel the calm and steady heartbeat. It felt like the safest place to be.

"Yes, I'm ready."

His smile showed me the confident to carry on.

"I wanna tell you why I freaked out in the car."

Mikey pulled me closer to him, so I was lying in his lap with his arms around me. I took a deep breath before I started to fill the room with my thoughts.

"My parents died in a car crash. They crashed with a trailer, and the driver was both drunk and high. I had bad dreams about the accident for weeks, and I haven't been in so many car rides and never met a trailer before today. And I couldn't handle it. I didn't know that I would react this way." Mikey squeezed me a bit harder, before he looked me straight into the eyes.

"Frank, we all react differently when we get traumatized. I have PTSD, like I've told you before, after I got kidnapped. And when something bad happens to you, you react to it. It was this one time when Gee wanted to surprise me by coming up behind me and put his hands over my eyes. I hit him straight in the nose, and you should have seen his face! It was blood everywhere! But my brain told me that this was dangerous, because something similar had happened to me before, so I defended myself in that situation, and pretty good if I have to say it myself." I giggled when I looked at how Mikey's face lit up a notch. He gently wiped away the bangs from my face, and I eased into his touch.

"But I had to get some help, professional help, and I think you should too. Don't get upset or anything, but you can't do this alone." The thought of going to a shrink wasn't the best idea Mikey had had all day.

"But I have you, you can help me."

"Frank, I can help you, but not as good as a professional can. Trust me on this on, ok? Believe me, I have been there myself, and it's really difficult to ask someone to help you, because you feel so damn weak and almost as if you have let yourself down, but you haven't. This can happened to anyone, old or young, big or small. And it has nothing to do with who you are as a person. And besides, everyone needs someone from the outside to talk to at one point in his or her lives. It will just do you good." He smiled at me, and I felt a bit more relaxed. His words hit me dead on, how could he know what I was thinking? My face gave me away.

"No, I can't read your mind, I just know, I have been in the exact same situation, asking someone for help. But do you know what helped me? I had Gerard with me, a person I trusted." I grabbed his hand and put it on top of my heart.

"Will you come with me?" He leaned down and kissed me, lightly first, but more intense when I pressed my lips eagerly against his. I knew that was a yes, he didn't have to say it to me.

I tugged on his shirt, felt how the soft fabric slid up over his head and sent it down to the floor. I let my hands touch his silky smooth skin, and he moaned when my lips went down to his neck, nibbling softly on his tender spot. He had his eyes closed, but they sprung open when my hand hit his fly. He took a hold of my hand and guided it away from the zip. I shot him a confused look.

"Not before your shirt has come of." He let go of my hand while he gave me a childish gaze. I just smiled and giggled when he kissed me again, and I felt his hands lurk underneath my shirt. I shivered enthusiastic when I felt his amazingly strong, yet delicate hands roam over my upper torso. It just felt too good at one point, and I decided to help him a bit. I quickly pulled my shirt over my head, and tossed it to the floor. My smirk said it all as my hand once again hit his fly. He didn't refuse my attention this time, as I slowly opened it.

"You tease." He was leaning, his back arching, resting his dead weight on his straight arms. It took all of my willpower to not just rip his pants along with his boxers in one motion, instead I slowly glided them down his pale, beautiful legs until they were all the way down to his ankles. He then took the liberty to kick them of. I looked at his boxers and licked my lips before I started to bite at the hem, Mikey moaned out and seemed to enjoy it all. I pulled them down a bit, but had to help to get them all of with my hands.

"My turn!" Mikey jumped up and gently tugged me down on the bed, with the role reversed, me underneath and he on top. As my shirt was already gone, so he immediately drew his attention to my growing boner. I could feel he was getting very eager to do something, slightly rushing through the part with taking of my pants. It was away in no time as he palmed me through my briefs. I let out a gasp as I felt him massage me, and I just knew he had that smirk on his face. I kept my eyes close though, just enjoying and feeling his touch upon my hard on. He then quickly and almost unnoticeable pulled my boxers down and threw that on the floor along with our other clothing. He laid himself on top of me and kissed me with eager on the mouth. It was a wet kiss, and I felt Mikey had trouble with controlling himself. He kept kissing me hard, and started to rub our crotches together. We were breathing fast, warm air tickling my chest as Mikey went lower.

"Mikey, wait." I pulled myself up on my elbows and tangled my hand in his hair. He looked at me with lust in his eyes, his already dark brown eyes growing a bit darker in the dull light.

"I'm just gonna throw it out there. I don't wanna have sex yet, I'm sorry." I looked apologetic into his eyes, as I saw him smile and pull me into a hug.

"It's ok Frank. If you don't want to, it's okay. Even though I was really ready for you, but we don't need to rush this." I nodded to his words.

"It's just that, you are such a special person, and if we rush into sex, it's not that you wouldn't be less special to me, but it would just feel that I'm using you. And I don't want that. And besides, sex is such an amazing thing, it can be fucking awesome when you are totally ready for it and you do it with a person you really love. And I really love you Mikey, but I'm not ready to take your virginity away, not yet. I wanna get to know you better first." I tilted my head when I looked at him with my puppy eyes, hoping I hadn't hurt his emotions in some sort of a way. But he was still smiling, even after my so-called little speech.

"But we can still do blowjobs and hand jobs, right? Because I'm kinda really hard, and it's all your fault." I laughed and started up the kissing again.

"Of course, I have a semi little problem down their as well, and you were kinda awesome this morning by handling that, so I trust you on that one." We were grinding our crotches together by that point again, and I felt both Mikey and I getting as hard as we could get. We kept rubbing and kissing, and soon both of our hands found their way down to our cocks, while I took a hold of Mikey's, he took a hold of mine and we kept pumping and moaning together. It was such an amazing and wonderful feeling, it was a new sensation to be able to feel such an amount of pleasure during something this sexual. All of my previous experiences had always been so rushed, it had felt good, but also hurt a lot, and I had never been so into foreplay as Mikey and I were. It had just been straight on, and not even in a bed or on a sofa. I had had sex in a bathroom stall, in a kitchen and even in a park under a bush. The last event in the park brought me like a tons of ants in my pants. But now, the ants were replaced with the soft moans and the sweat body of Mikey. His grip had tighten around me and I knew that he was about to come, and when I tighten my own grip around him and slid my thumb over his slit, his body started to spasm and he let out this huge moan with my name at the end. That turned me on even more, and soon I was spilling out me seeds, which blended with Mikey's.

"I think we need a shower." I giggled into his neck.

"You think we need one?" He looked down on us and pulled me up and into the bathroom just across the hall.


	19. Scared

**Blondpotato: HA HA! Little horny Mikey xD Just a filler chapter, and therefore I give you not more than TWO chapters :D Hope you like!**

**Chapter eighteen - Scared**

**Gerard's POV**

'Wonder when they are planning on coming back, I'm bored.' I looked around myself and hoped that a pencil and some paper would just magically appear in the white room. I noticed it was starting to darken outside, the sun slowly fading over the horizon and the sky was shooting out all kind of colors. It was so beautiful, almost as perfect an as pairing. And I would give much anything to be able to sit outside and watch it.

It had been along time since I was well enough to be outside. It just drained all of my energy away. Mikey had taken me out for a walk just a week ago, we had taken it quite slow, but he almost had to carry me home after just 10 minutes. My legs couldn't carry my weight, my head was spinning from the lack of nutrition the last weeks, and my eras were nearly drowning with all the different sounds.

That was almost the worst part of it all, I could handle the pain to a curtain degree and if the nausea overpowered me, I would just lie down and close my eyes. But the sound that buried it's way deep down in my brain, going so deep that it almost drove me nuts. That was the worst part of it all. A door being closed a little to hard sounded like someone tried to bang their way inside by using a giant sledge. The sounds could be tortures at some points. And it was on it's worst when I was sick from the chemotherapy. I would always have to lie in a pitch-black room, isolated from everything. The light blinding my eyes and the sound exploding in my ears. What a life.

"Gerard, how are you feeling?" I looked up and into the face of Dr. Santiago. I scrunched my nose when I answered him.

"I'm pretty bored, but feeling good. When can I go home?" I smiled at him as he studied my journal. He laughed slightly at my comment.

"I understand that, but we have to keep you here for at least a week, maybe longer. Just a precaution since you lost so much blood and because of the operation. And since you are kinda stuck here, we can check up on your cancer."

"Ok." I couldn't hide the irony in my voice. A week? How could I manage a week in this place? God, I needed my brother and that sketchbook. Dr. Santiago put the journal down and looked at me.

"I know this can be tough, your young and have the hole life ahead of you, and I promise you that we are doing the best we can to help you, but that requires some help from you as well. Try and adapt to this place." I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me of.

"I know that this place sucks, trust me, I work here. There are just sick people here, and we are gonna move you to the cancer department tomorrow, and there are some very sick people there right now. But just try and stay positive, just not for you, but for your brother. He loves you very much. Ok?" He gave me an encourage smile, a pet on the shoulder and then he was of, left me alone with my thoughts. Thoughts I tried to hide.

The "what if" that kept haunting me every single day, every single night. That made me twist and turn in my bed, made me scared of what might happen. I wasn't afraid of leaving this earth, this life, I was more afraid of what I left behind.

Mikey..

I thought about that a lot before, how he would coop with my death, if I didn't pull through this. I hated the idea, the thought of leaving Mikey behind. Just the mention of the word 'die' would just break me into tears and panic attacks. And that word kept popping up in every fucking talk I had with either the doctor or the nurse at the hospital. So they made me go and see this shrink, because they thought that I was afraid of dying. And in all honestly I wasn't, I just couldn't stop thinking about Mikey. But I was ready to put of a fight, and kick some cancer butt!


	20. What's your biggest fear?

**Chapter nineteen - What's your biggest fear?**

**Mikey's POV**

The hot water felt nice against my sweaty skin. The way it hit my hair and quickly ran further down my body, it gave some sort of peace and made me forget about my surroundings, except the hot looking boy that now was soaping me in with my shampoo, clearly struggling by my heights and his dwarfness.

"Mikey, can you please bend over?" I smirked and grabbed him by his waist.

"That eager to broke my virginity, are we? I winked at him and pulled him closer to me.

"Ha. Ha. You are just SO funny, Mikey Way. Now, bend over so I can continue with your hair, my little fairy princess. I'm gonna make you look so fucking hot with that pink, puffy crown."

"You wish is my command, your dwarfness." I giggled at him.

"Oh no, you didn't!" He started to pull my hair towards him, so I had to bend downwards. I tried to struggle to get loose, but he was much stronger than I thought he was going to be.

"Auch, Frank. You're killing me." I got the words out between my laughter bursts.

"Prepare to get some revenge, you skinny giant." I nearly fell down on my knees, when Frank reached out and started to rub my head violently.

"Mhm, massage." I giggled, and had to spit out some shampoo.

"I better find a brand that tastes good, if we are gonna continue to do this." Frank leaned down and cupped my chin. I looked into his hazel eyes, they were nearly glowing with happiness. I didn't have any choice but smile of his cuteness, as he gently kissed my lips. We kissed for a few second, but when I parted my lips he suddenly pulled away and started to spit. I couldn't help but be surprised and a bit hurt by his action.

"Dude, I totally agree with you. You have to change that shampoo, it tastes horrible!" My giggle filled the bathroom as I nearly fell to the floor, holding my stomach. Frank looked amused and a bit shocked by mu sudden outburst.

"Ehm, Mikey? It wasn't that much fun, was it?" Frank helped me stand up, I was to occupied by laughing to even try and collect my legs together.

"Now, use some water and get rid of that shampoo that tastes like cow shit, and then put some clothes on. I think Gerard would appreciate if we stopped by him before the visiting hours are over for today." He blinked at me before stepping out of the shower. I took a deep breath and let my back gently fall into the wall in the shower, while I slowly breathed out, in nearly pure bliss.

We got dressed rather quickly, I was eager to see how Gerard was doing. And I knew he was probably quite bored just staring at the white walls in the hospital. Gerard had never liked the dull building, pilled with sickness and misery, but he and I knew that they were here to help him and that he just had to accept that he had to stay there sometimes.

I was nervous when we jumped into the car. Even though I knew it was late, it was almost 9 pm, so I knew that there wasn't so many cars out, and most importantly.

Trailers.

It was too hard to see Frank freak out earlier, I really didn't want that to happen again. He was too precious to me.

I looked over at Frank when we started the drive. He was tensing up, so I reached for his hand.

"How are you feeling now?" He bit his lower lip as he took a minute to think.

"It's hard to breath with my stomach, it feels like my breath is trying to choke me." He paused, and I knew that this was difficult to talk about. The more you talked about it, the more you really felt the different sensations in your body. Almost like you were cheering the emotions to go through with their plans. I squeezed his hand and told him to hold on the emotions and really live them through, and if he could, then tell me about them.

It was painful to see him relive the emotions I had gone through some many times, but I wanted to help him, and from the experience I had had with anxiety, I knew one of the things you had to learn was to control it. And the first step was to acknowledge how it made you feel. Even though it was uncomfortable and scary.

"My stomach is full of butterflies, not the one that's there when I look at you," he blushed, "but the dinosaur butterflies that will bite your throaty and suck your blood. You know what I mean?" I nodded in response, I knew all to well what he meant, but I couldn't help but smile by how he mentioned his butterflies when he looked at me. I thought about my next question, which wasn't to far away in my mind. It was something I was curious about, but was I was hoping wouldn't freak him out too much.

"Can you tell me what you biggest fear is, right now? If it's to tough to tell, then don't, but I would love it if you wanted to share it with me. I wanna try and help you, and in order to do that I need to kinda get inside you head for a little while." He smiled and nodded his head, which by now was covered by his hood.

"Ok, but don't get scared, ok?" He looked down, pink covered his cheeks, "I'm scared that we might crash and that you will die." He had to blink twice as fast to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out from his eyes.

"Thank you, Frankie, for letting me get inside your head. And don't be embarrassed, it's completely normal for a human being to be scared of things that you know can happen. It's our way to learn. Picture yourself when you are little, how many children haven't put their hand on the stove. And what happens? Yes, you will burn yourself. The nerves in your hand will send a signal to your brain saying 'ouch!', your brain will then send a signal back to the muscles and nerves to tell 'get your bloody hand away from that thing!', and your muscles will then move your hand away from the stove. Next time you see a stove, normally you will just know that it can be hot, and that it's not wise to put your hand down on it if you don't wanna be burned. Well, if your name is not Mikey Way then." I smirked and looked at him. I had just parked the car at the guest parking, and it felt how Frank's hand and shoulder relaxed.

"Did you do that?" He had a little laughter in his voice.

"Yes, I put my hand on the stove two times before I learned that it wasn't wise to do that, and that it hurt like fuck." My smile grew wider at the memory. It was funny now, but it sure wasn't funny when it happened. But I was glad to see that it made Frank giggle.

"How do you feel?" I asked him that after giving him a peek on the cheek.

"Better, your good. Were have you learned all of this?" Now it was my turn to blush and look down at our hands that had found each other at the moment I killed the engine.

"I want to be a shrink, and I went to one as well because of my PTSD."

"Oh yeah, I remember you said that, the part about the PTSD, but not that you wanted to be a shrink." He lifted my chin with his hand, and touched my lips with his thumb.

"You will be the perfect shrink, I know you will. Now, are you ready to see your brother?"

"Thank you Frankie, and yes. I am! He is probably going mental of boredom right now." I reached for Gee's sketchbook and the map, which held all of his pencil.

"Yo, Frankie! Wait for me!" I jogged towards him, when he turned and launched himself at me, grabbing my hand and pulling me with him.

"Come on you turtle, what is taking you so long?" I just laughed and followed him through the door.


	21. all by myself

**Chapter twenty - All by myself**

**Mikey's POV**

I heard an all to familiar voice coming through the door and finding it's way to my ears, making me giggle by every word he sang.

_I was all alone, I was all by myself_

_No one was looking, I was thinking of you_

_Oh yeah, did I mention I was all by myself_

_All by myself…_

_All by myself..._

_All by myself..._

_I went to your house, but no one was there_

_I went in your room_

_I was all by myself_

_You and me had_

_Such wonderful times_

_When I'm all by myself_

_All by myself_

I scratched my head awkwardly and looked over at Frank. He stood as frozen to the floor and just listened to Gerard sing the sad, but at the same time, funny song.

"I think that this is our moment to shine, don't you think?" He turned his head towards me and smiled halfheartedly. I nodded my head in response and took a tighter grip on Gerard's art stuff, when I opened the door into his room. My head peeked through the crack and I was expecting Gerard to lay in his bed half asleep, like he normally did, and sing his heart out. But to my surprise he was sitting with two large pillows supporting his back, looking with dreamy eyes towards the window.

"Gerard?" I let my body follow my head inside the small one-man room, with Frank almost stumbling behind me, almost falling over my heels. He slowly looked from the window to the door, were two teens stood awkwardly together like two scared fish in a tank. He looked at us with a surprised and amused look on his face, before he started to laugh. His small frame was shaking with laughter and he was grasping after air. Frank and I didn't know what to do or say, so we just at each other weirdly. I leaned into him and whispered in his ear.

"I think my brother has gone mental." I couldn't hide the amusement in my voice. It was so good to see him laughing like that, it had been to long since I had seen him genuinely as happy as he seemed to be right now. I smiled as I watched him, fragile and sick, no one knew if he would survive or die of cancer. He could have, what, like three weeks left, or maybe a few months. Or he could surprise us all by fighting and live through this hellhole.

I looked over at him with a smile only a proud mom could wear. He was just so strong. I swear, sometimes it seems that it's me who's sick. Sobbing my way into a restless night, thinking about death and how it is to die. To just fall asleep and never wake up again. Floating around in this pitch-black universe, just waiting for something to happen, pray for something to happen. Feel something, anything. Pleasure or pain, it doesn't matter. Just to know that you have a tiny hope left in that universe, even though you know that you are screwed. When you die, there is no turning back.

When you die, you are gone. Gone forever, into the black, lonesome place.

And I can't deal with that, it scares me too much. To not know what's coming after life, to know that you have approximately around 80 years, one life, to not screw up to much, to do what you want with the one precious life you have got.

And it kills me to think that Gerard would maybe not be able to get even get a chance at life.

I shrug my shoulders and snap out of my thoughts. 'Mikey, don't fall into old habits, thoughts like that is not your friends', I mentally kick myself and brings my head back to now, back to reality. Gerard is still laughing, and Frank has joined in. My smirk grows wider as I listen to their hysterical attacks, which fills the air. I patiently wait for the two of them to calm down, just in time to ask them what the fuck was going on. My gaze is locked on Gerard, since he was the one who started this all. He takes a deep breath and pulls me closer to the bed.

"You should have seen the look on your face," he smirks, "dude, that was just so retard!" He ruffled through my hair with his fist, making me cry out.

"Hey, stop that. You are ruining my hairdo!" He stop the ruffling and looks at my hair with intense eyes for a few seconds, the left side of his mouth curls up as his gaze moves towards Frank.

"You guys have had a shower.." His eyes glisten, "together!" He states in triumph.

Frank and I both blushed and turn our heads down, looking eyes with the grey floor. It's probably made of rubber, even though it wanna be wood. But how can wood be grey anyway?

Someone makes a high pitch noise, sounding like coming from a girl.

"Oh my god, you did shower together, didn't you? Oh guys, you are like to cute, adorable, innocent and so many other words I can't make up right now!" Gerard claps his palms together after staring both of us down, almost wishing that I was somewhere else right now. But just almost.

"Yeah Gerard, we did shower together, after making passionately love to each other, Mikey wearing his lovely pink and puffy crown, and me putting on some high heels so I could reach up to he's Miss Highness Michael Fucking Way."

There were a few moments of quietness filling the air in the hospital room. Frank looking shocked of what he just said and Gerard with a goofy smile plastered to his lips. And I...

I was stunned. In shock. My lips formed into an 'o', just looking at Frank as if he was some random stranger who had come up to me and asked if I could give him a blowjob.

"I just knew that he owned one of those crowns, I have just never found it!" Gerard said and snapped his fingers. I hit him on his shoulder and looked at him annoyed.

"Shut up Gerard." He just started to laugh again.

"Oh Mikey, just keep on denying it, but Frank and I knows the thrush." He winked at Frank who just giggled and moved closer to grab my hand. The gaze I sent him was mad, but that was only on the outside. On the inside I almost felt as though I was floating around in 7th heaven. Gerard clearly felt much better and it was a joy to see him like this, mocking me like a brother was supposed too, and as far as I could see, no worries dispatched on his face. So I gave up my disguise and silted at him.

"Anyway," I rolled the word of my tongue in slow motion, "this have been fun, but VERY of topic," Frank smiled and nodded slowly to my words, "but we brought you your art supplies."

"Thank you guys! I have been so bored!" Frank giggled.

"We kind of heard that from the hallway. Green Day right? All by myself?"

"I like your choice in music Frank, you are completely right. You play guitar? Mikey told me that you guys were starting a band?"

"Yes, I have always wanted to play in a band and my fostered just said go for it, so I did. So I play guitar, and then we have Mikey on the bass and Bob, this really cool guy from school, plays the drums! We wanna have a singer as well, but it's no rush really. We are just playing for fun, jamming together. Well, we haven't really played as a band yet either." We enjoyed the silence for a few minutes after that before Frank spoke up again.

"But Gerard! Can't you drop by and sing with us when you are feeling better and out of this lousy place? That would have been so cool!" I nodded eagerly to what Frank said. That would have been so awesome! But Gerard just shook his head.

"No, you don't want me in the band. For the first of all, I can't sing." Frank cut him of rather quickly.

"Duh, I totally heard you sing just a few minutes ago. You totally rocked it!" But Gerard just ignored him and kept going.

"And I'm way older than you guys are, you don't wanna have an old guy like me in the band." Frank cut him of for the second time.

"I don't care about age, it's just a number. And I have changed my mind, you are already IN the band, and you signed this contract," he held out his hand and motioned to an invisible paper in his hand, "so you don't have anything to say really." He smiled in triumph, and I giggled next to him. We both looked at Gerard who didn't see that one coming.

"Invisible contract? Was I high or something when I signed it?"

"Oh man, you were so high, but you signed it, so it's signed, sealed, delivered! And your SO in the band."

"We'll see." He winked at us.

There was a knock on the door, and a nurse entered.

"Sorry guys, but visiting time is over." She smiled at us, and vent over to Gerard and started to help him lay down. He grunted uncomfortably, but settled down soon.

"Ok, we'll come back tomorrow Gerard."

"Mikey, you can come by after school. It's friday tomorrow, just one day and then the weekend is up. I don't want you to miss out on school to much, you know?" I nodded and gave Gerard a hug.

"I'm going to school tomorrow, I promise." Gerard peeked over at Frank.

"And that's the same for you, ok? I wanna have a hug from you before you go." He stretched his thin arm towards Frank, who smiled and leaned in for a hug.

"Now, behave you two!" We talked towards the door, waving goodbye to Gerard.

Pain shot through my chest when I saw him lying there, all wrapped up in this big duvet with wires sticking out from underneath it. But I knew he was safe here.


	22. Daydreaming

**Chapter twenty one - Daydreaming**

**Frank's POV**

"Oh man, I HATE school!" Bob let a sigh fall out of his lips. He looked over at Mark who sat and studied his drawing, clearly concentrated given the fact that his tongue almost fell out of his mouth. Bob just rolled his eyes and gave him a push. It made both Mikey and I giggle.

"What?" He peeked up from his drawing and gave us a suspicious look.

"I said, and I quote: Oh man, I HATE school!"

"Bob, art isn't that bad. It's fun! Right guys?" Mark smiled at Mikey and I, and we nodded in response. Art was my second favorite subject, music came first of course. Music was my passion, my life, and one of the things I couldn't live without. I wouldn't give up music for anything in the world.

No, that's were you are wrong Frank. You would give up music for Mikey.

I smiled to myself and let my hand travel to the place it felt most comfortable. Into the deep of his hand. I could feel him shiver by my touch, and lovely squeeze my hand into his. I though about Gerard, who was getting out of the hospital today. Mikey was so excited when he told me about it. I felt sorry for him, he had to have women from the child welfare living with him the past two weeks since he was underage. Even though Patricia had said that he was welcome to stay at our house, but then you have the law. That fucked up, old law that said that Patricia had to apply to the child welfare, and that would take way more than two weeks, so Mikey got this fossil of a women to watch over him, while Gerard was recovering at the hospital. Mikey told me that she stank and that he weren't allowed to go outside after six. So much for freedom.

She even tried to drag him along to the church one sunday, but I ran over there and saved him after getting a text from him in nearly pure panic. It was quite funny looking back on it, but back then I was so mad at her. I stormed over to their house and gave that owl-like woman some demanding advice on how to raise a teenager. It actually went very well, even though I had the feeling she wanted to punch me in the face. It was pretty scary, but I was so mad that the feeling didn't came after my outburst. I was nervous when she turned around on her heels and walked out the door. Mikey told me later that she had scratched all of the rules and made him do whatever, and he quoted, "the hell you want to do with your life". So Mikey had been at my house until 10 pm every single night after that.

It had been the best week of my life. Jamming around with Bob, who was actually an awesome drummer. He could play everything you told him to, and at one point we were playing "We will rock you" by Queen. It sounded great, just a few notes that sounded weird, but Mark was ecstatic after we were done, and said that we just needed our singer back form the hospital. Mikey and I had told Bob and Mark that Gerard was an amazing singer, and they really wanted him to join the band as well. We hadn't told them that he was sick, we felt that he could choose that himself if he wanted to tell them or not. But he was doing well now, much better then the first time I met him. And I could tell that made Mikey happy.

Mikey, oh Mikey. I just loved that kid more for every day that went by. He was my life strap, my own personal guidance through life. I was so in love with him, my heart would skip a beat overtime I laid my eyes on his gorgeous face. And every time we touched each other, the butterflies in my stomach would go crazy in my body. He was the only person that made me feel that way, and he was the only person that could really comfort me when I woke up from a bad dream or had an awful day.

We were cuddling under the table at lunch, holding hands and just smiling. My life was complete when he was around, and I felt genuine happiness.

"Frank?" Someone was pushing me out of my daydream.

"Huh?" I looked up and saw Bob was trying to get contact.

"Practice after school today?" He sat back into his chair and smiled. I turned my attention to Mikey who answered the question.

"Could we maybe do it tomorrow? Gerard is coming home today, and I kinda want Frank to come with me to get him." He looked embarrassed and a bit unsure, but Mark and Bob brightened up by the mention of Gerard's name.

"Of course Mikey! We can wait until tomorrow, no problem. We are so glad that Gerard is coming home today, that's great news!" Mark smiled towards Mikey, and Bob nodded with agreement.

I could feel Mikey getting more tensed and nervous when the clock slowly moved closer to the end of school. I squeezed his hand and smiled at him in order to make him relax as we walked towards his car when the bell rang.

"Are you excited?" My smile widened when we jumped into the car.

"Yes, I can't believe he is coming home! No more visiting hours and no more old fossil women taking care of me. It's just gonna be Gerard and myself again," he turned towards me and blushed when he paused for a few seconds, "and you." I leaned over and kissed his lips. He tasted like coffee and chocolate, and just Mikey. My Mikey.

He pulled out of the parking lot, and started on the short drive to the hospital.


	23. Easy loving you

**Blondepotato: **Oh, he so is xD lol! I think you can guess what it's gonna be called :D PS. 'm sorry, will be updating more frequently :D

** .3: **Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad you like it :D There's not so many chapters left, almost done with it. Ikk! have been writing it for 1 1/2 years. Long time :)

**Chapter twenty two - Easy loving you**

**Mikey's POV**

Gerard sat cross-legged on the hospital bed with his sketchpad in his hands. His tongue was sticking out from his lips, and his brows were narrowed together in concentration. I giggled when I saw how lost he was in his drawings, and clearly he heard my laugh because he looked up and smiled.

"I was wondering when you two would come and pick me up! I have been waiting all day." I walked into the room and sighed with the thought that hopefully it was a long time till I saw it again. I hit Gerard playfully in the shoulder and stuck my tongue out.

"You are such an inpatient little kid sometimes." He just shrugged his shoulders and rubbed my head with his palm.

"Ha.. Ha.. Now, come on, lets get out of this hole." He stood up from the bed and took one step towards the door. I bend down and picked up his bags, and got up just in time to see Frank catch Gerard who fell over. I dropped the bags to the ground and ran over to them.

"Gerard, are you ok?" Frank was still holding him in his arms.

"Yes, I'm sorry I fell on you Frank. My legs are a bit weak and shaky, but I think I can stand on my own now." We helped him on his feet, he was still unsteady so I supported him and we started to walk out of the room. Frank grabbed his bags, which I discarded on the floor, and went after us down the hall.

"Oh hell no, Gerard!" A woman voice calling after him. I turned around to see it was Heather, a young nurse who had taken care of Gerard the last two weeks. She stood behind us with her hands on her hips, and if looks could kill, we would have been six feet under in a coffin already.

"Ok, first of all, you of all people should know that when leaving the hospital, you are leaving in a wheelchair. No but's, no no's, just sit your as down in a wheelchair, for christ sake. And for the second, how dare you leave without saying goodbye. You know I'm gonna miss your sorry ass and your whining about the needles." She raised an eyebrow and started to smile.

"I'm gonna miss you too Heather, but I'll be back. You know that." She came over to us and hugged him.

"I know, we are not gonna get rid of you that easy, but I'm not kidding about the wheelchair." She pointed at one of the black ones and I could hear Gerard sigh.

"Hey, you know the rules and the hospital policy. No one leaves this place on their legs." There was an awkward pause before we all started to laugh.

"Why did that sound so wrong?" We laughed it all out before Gerard placed himself in the chair. He sighed once more and moved a little to find a comfortable spot.

"Ugh, this is a really hard pillow." I took the handles and started to push the chair towards the exit.

"Just bear it out, it's just for a few meters, and you shouldn't be the one complaining. It's me who has to push you, and you are heavy!" I was slightly exaggerating with that statement, it was actually quite easy to push his small and fragile body, but I loved to tease Gerard, and vice versa. It was a sibling thing, something we had always done to show our affection for each other.

"Shut up, Mikey. You know that muscles weigh more than fat." I just smiled and pushed him out of the door.

"Ah, air! And sun! And, and.. Everything!" He took a deep breath and lifted himself out of the confines of the black devil on wheels.

"Easy there tiger." Heather had followed us out and took over the wheelchair. I handed it over to her gladly and she gave me an encouraging smile.

"Could you please remind him to take it a bit easy? Even though he feels fine now, he is still sick and if he doesn't save some of that energy up, he can totally burn his body out. And his body needs the strength to kill all the not so good things inside of him. There is a war going on inside of him, an invisible one, but oh so real." She touched my shoulder when my eyes lost some of their sparkling when she mentioned "the war".

"But don't you ever lose you hope, Mikey! He needs you to be strong and to be there and tell him that he is doing so well. And I have to say that his prognoses is looking really good at the moment." I looked up and met her gaze, and felt her fill me with hope.

"Yeah, he looks really good right now." I saw Gerard almost running too the car and looking back at us with an odd look, almost like a kid saying, "mom, why aren't we going home now?"

Frank and I said good-bye to Heather as she walked inside the hospital again. Frank took hold of my hand and led me over to the car, nuzzling my neck.

There was an awkward moment of Frank not knowing what to do. Should he sit in the back of the car or in the front? I saw his dilemma and pushed him into the passenger side in the front.

"Gee, is it ok for you that Frank sits with me in the front seat?" Gerard just shrugged his shoulder and looked at the both of us, holding hands.

"Off course, I don't want you to kill us by driving of the road and into a three because you and Frank want to hold hands during the car ride." It was meant as a joke, but I could feel Frank tense up, and his face showing the pain I knew he was feeling by the words Gerard threw out to us. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to notice how thick the tension was building up at we sat back into the car, I knew that Frank probably had to tell my brother what had happened to his parents, at one point. But he still had a choice to tell him or not, even though the question would come up.

But as we all closed the door and put our seat belts on, I knew that Gerard had caught up with the tension. He was an artist, and it was their specialty to notice every drop of emotions in the air. Gerard was this type of guy that knew what you were thinking and feeling before you knew it yourself. And it could be quite annoying sometimes, but now I felt kind of relieved when he asked the simple question.

"Did I say something wrong, Frank?" He leaned over from the backseat and looking into Frank's eyes with a worried look. Frank was far away, deep into his thoughts, but the simple words snapped him out of it. He smiled reassuring, but not enough to make Gerard let it go.

"Hey, if I said something that made you uncomfortable, sad or angry, just let me know. Don't hold your emotions inside of you Frank, it's good for you to let them out. You are to kind and caring, you have to work on speaking up your mind. Even though I heard you had something to say to that child care lady." He winked at Frank, and I let out a giggle, trying to focus on the road, but stealing some small glares at my brother and my boyfriend. The words Gee was telling Frankie made me smile inside myself, it was almost the exact words he spoke to me not so long ago. I listened carefully to Frank's shallow breathing before he spoke a few words containing so much emotions.

"They died in a car accident a few weeks ago." He smiled sadly and looked away with tears in his eyes. He didn't blink, but they rolled out of his eyes like a leaking faucet. It was horrible to watch Frank cry, I just wanted to grab him in my arms and rock him back and forth, trying and needing to take the pain away. But I knew that the only thing I could do was to lead him through it and maybe ease the pain a bit. But nothing could take it away forever. He would always have that part of him longing for his parents, for their love, their support and their advice.

I heard Frank let out a sigh of relief, probably happy that he had told Gerard. He, on the other hand, leaned forward and wiped away a few of the tears with his tomb. He showed Frank the amount of pain and support he felt for him through his eyes, and gave him an awkward hug from the backseat.

"I'm so sorry for you loss Frank. And I'm sorry for not thinking before saying what I said." Frank shook his head.

"Gerard, you didn't know. How can you say you're sorry for not knowing? Let's just not think about that, ok?" He held out his hand and smelled at him.

"Deal." Gerard took his hand just in time as I pulled the car into the parking lot in front of our house.

After getting out of the car and, Gerard put a friendly hand over Frank's shoulder.

"Wanna stay over tonight? We would have loved to have you hear tonight, since it is friday, and not a school night. Only if you want to though." Frank smiled and nodded his head.

"I would love too, I just have to call home and ask. And I should probably get some clothes."

"Great!" Gerard slipped his arm away from Frank's shoulder so he could unlock the door, and I took the opportunity to snuggle up to Frank from behind. I hooked my arms around his waits and dug my head under his arm.

"Hi there, beautiful." I let my eyes slip close as he stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head.

"Can you make that call now? I would so have you over tonight." I made the sexiest look I could, and blinked at him. He smiled and pulled of his phone.

"Give me a sec then."

I let go of him and went inside to Gerard who was nearly falling halfway into the fridge, clearly looking for something to eat. I made a ninja sound and pretended to kick him in the butt. He looked up in surprised and really jumped into my childness. He fell over onto his side and held his one hand up in defense.

"Oh no, don't kick my ass, ninja boy. I'm just a little kid trying to find some decent food here." Wiping my hair back and straightening my glasses, I looked over at my victim. Gerard and I had always been living in a fantasy world, running around playing Star Wars with light sables and cape, trying to kill each other. It was our way of escaping the real world, which didn't really meant a lot to us. I looked down at Gerard again, who was smiling furiously and trying to grab a hold of my legs, I manage to grab a hold of his arms and hold them in place. I was surprised when I felt him struggle against me, and if this had been a year ago I would have been on my back with Gerard triumphing on top of me in a victory graze, being as he was much more stronger than I was. But now I had no problem of holding him down on the floor, him being out of breath struggling against me, smirking and trying to gently kick me of off him.

We both looked up when Frank walked in, seeing the playful struggling on the floor, nearly dropping his phone on the floor.

"I'm going home to get some clothes, Patricia said it was ok that I spent the night here. She said to bring you her love and she hoped you were feeling better Gerard." I let go of Gerard and got up on my feet, holding out my arm to Gerard and helped him up as well.

"Do you want me to join you? Or I can stay here and cook some dinner?" I watched him step closer to me, and I couldn't help my urges to kiss his sweet lips. We broke of after only a few seconds, both feeling Gerard's gaze on our backs.

"Hm, as much as I wanted to take you with me, dinner sounds way to good right now."

"Ok, love. I'll have dinner ready when your back." I peeked his cheek as we said good-bye. Frank waived a good bye for now to Gerard, and turned around to walk out of the door, but before he was able to close it behind him, Gerard called after him.

"Frank, bring your guitar, will you?"

"Yeah, sure!" I heard the door close, and I turned around to look at Gerard. I smiled at him as he was searching after something on the kitchen table.

"Wanna jam tonight?" I asked.

"Hell yeah, it's been to long since I did something creative in this house. There is not so much creativity in a hospital you know?" He kept searching after, what I presumed was his notebook, in the cabinet.

"Does pizza sound good?" I heard him let out a big sigh.

"You don't know how fucking much I have missed pizza, dude."

I smirked, and put on the stove.


	24. I'm ready

**Blondepotato: **He is Princess Perfect xD lol! OMG, magical unicorn, HA HA! But I'm sorry, I won't say anything other than that..

**Kobra Kid 8: **Wrote a new chapter now, and are gonna upload a few more this week! :) It's heading to an end though :/ And I'm so sad about it, but have been writing this for over 2 years, so it's about time to end it :) xoxo

**Chapter twenty three - I'm ready**

**Mikey's POV**

I loved to cook, mix different vegetables and spices, and make every taste roll onto tongues and down throats. I loved to get compliments for my food and mentally take notes of what worked or didn't work together. Sometimes my different types of weird mixing, would just be spitted out again on the plait, usually followed by "what the hell, Mikey?" and a laughing fit from it. Those nights always ended up with take away, either the drive through at McDonald's, both of us eagerly waiting for our happy meals to arrive, just so we could bury our heads into it to check out what toy we got. Or we would just pick up the phone and order pizza. Extra cheese, corn and pepperoni.

I had decided on pizza tonight as well, but with a bit more creativity and hopefully fun added to it. The dough was ready, now we just needed the topping. I smiled to myself as I took a knife and carved three equally scared boxes on the pizza, one for us each.

My head sprung up when I heard the front door open, and I saw a sweat clenched Frank with too much to carry. His guitar on his back, an old worn down bag on his left shoulder, treating to fall down any second, and his right arm shaking from the amount of energy he had to use to carry the amp to his guitar. I dropped everything I had in my arms and nearly ran over to him with a huge grin on my face.

"You're back!" I nearly shouted in pure delight. I threw myself around his neck, and made him lose the amp and bag he held.

"Why shouldn't I be back?" He kissed my lips and stroked my cheek. I could feel myself blush and lost my brain for a second. His touch on my skin felt like fire, sending sparkles from my head to my toes, making them curl up. I had almost forgot all about the pizza when Frank took me back to realization with the simple question "So, where is the pizza?" Like a little boy wanting to show his mom what he made in schooled that day, I took his hand and pulled him with me into the kitchen. With a bright smile and pride in my eyes, I showed him my masterpiece.

"What do you think?" I scanned his face as he took in the dough that was spread out onto the tray.

"Ehm, what do we do about it?" He scratched his head and raised an eyebrow. I let out a high pitch giggle, and ducked under his arm to reach out for the fridge.

"We have a pizza dough and all we need is some topping on it! Right?" He nodded as I started to take out different ingredients.

After about an hour mixing different cheese, Gerard almost having a heart attach because of Frank being an vegetarian, then mocking Gerard for having too much tomato sauce on his bit, and having everything almost ending in a food fight. We managed to get the pizza into the oven without dropping it onto the floor. I sat the alarm and we all fell back onto the couch.

"Movie anyone?"

"Yeah, can we watch "Night of the living dead"?" Gerard looked overly excited about Frank's proposal, smiling like a goof.

"I so wanna watch that right now! Mikey, put it in!" He tried to show me of the couch, but I just shook my head and clenched myself around Frank.

"Oh no, you do it yourself. I'm to comfortable!" As to prove my point, I snuggled my head into the crock of Frank's neck and sighed. His warmth was so calmingly warping around the both of us. I could her his steady heartbeat and the feeling of his chest raising with each breath he took. I closed my eyes and sniffed his sent, the light aroma of Frank-iness, a sent I never got tired of. His chest suddenly started to shake a bit, I opened my eyes and saw him giggle by Gerard's action to get the DVD into the player. He had made a huge fuzz of dragging himself of the couch, landed on his knees and hands, slowly crawling towards the DVD shelf, making slightly awkward facial expression.

"Don't think I can't hear you even tough I can't see you!" He said half joking and half serious.

"What?" Frank made a innocent face, his eyes almost watering from the puppy dog eyes he had on his face. "I don't understand what you're talking about." His voice gave him away, the giggling way he was talking.

"Stop the kissy kiss and the touchy touch, or get a room." He was clearly mocking us, and we were playing all along with him. So I did the only thing natural, moving closer to Frank and kiss him on his tender lips before answering my brother.

"Aw, Gerard is jealous! At his baby brother!" Gerard turned around in an instant and shot me a vary glare.

"Am not!"

"Oh yes, you are!" I couldn't let this go now, not when I found a spot. Gee always won our brotherly mocking, but now I was in the lead, and really enjoying it.

"Why should I be jealous of you two? Always hanging on eachother like duck tape, shearing everything. And then just the feeling of touch, lips on lips, hands on necks, sucking, nippling." He got a dreamy look on his face, zoning out from the conversation. I looked over at Frank, who sat like tranquilized and watched him.

"And then you have the sex." We all woke up and laughed from Frank's sudden outburst.

"Oh god Frank, I didn't want to go that far!" Gerard fell laughing onto the floor. I held onto my stomach to not get a cramp from the laughing, when I managed to spit out "for god sake, Gee, press play!"

He did as I told him, and soon we were all all comfortable in the sofa, watching zombies been slaughtered.

"This is such a classic zombie horror." Gerard sat on the edge of the sofa, with big eyes watching, jumping slightly when a zombie would approach.. I held onto my boyfriends hand, squeezing and hiding in the crock of his neck. I shivered slightly as I heard the scream from a women being eaten and closed my eyes into his warm skin. He started to stroke my back comfortably and whispered "it's just a movie, Mikey". I opened my eyes and slowly tilted my head towards the screen.

"But, it is kinda scary, you know?" He smiled down at me and kissed my check.

"Of course it is." I knew he was lying, he was enjoying the movie as much as Gerard was. But I ignored him, and sighed when I heard the familiar beep from the alarm.

"The pizza is ready!" I quickly jumped up from the sofa, nearly running towards the kitchen, not giving the screen a second look. I heard the movie go to pause, as Frank and Gerard slowly made their way over to the kitchen. Gerard lifted his head up like and dog and sniffed the air.

"Mhm, pizza smelling good Mikey!" They both came up with a smirk around their faces. And suddenly Frank was holding around my waist, looking my arms so I couldn't move them.

"what the.. Hey, Gerard! It's still hot, you gotta wait for it to cool down!" But he just shrugged me of with that smirk as he grabbed his slice of the steaming hot pizza.

"Mikey, We knew that you would have us wait and beg for some of this hot stuff, so we decided to take matter in our own hands." While Gerard spoke, and busy walking back to the living room, Frank were kissing my neck, sucking lightly on my skin, making me moan out quietly.

Suddenly he stopped and let me go. I almost fell over by the loss of him and squirmed.

"You fucking tease!" He just winked at me with that sexy face of his as he also took his slice. I followed him, shaking my head with a smile around my lips.

Frank and I were snuggled up in the sofa, making Gerard sit on the floor. And he really knew how to complain about it. We just giggled at him and kissed our way through the end scene of the movie. Needing to taste and touch eachother in every way possible. I tried my best to keep my moans inside of my head, but when Frank's hand were sneaking towards my crotch, all of my willpower not to scream out "touch me!" Or maybe I should, then We would hopefully get the living room for our self. I started to laugh at my dirty thoughts and Frank nearly threw himself of me when Gerard turned around to look at me with amusement. I followed his gaze when his brows lifted upwards in sunrise and shock. My eyes Sweet downwards to were he was looking and saw that I had a bone.

'Oh my god..' I thought, blushing. Gerard took this as his que to leave as he stretched, yawned and announced that he was going to bed. We just nodded and now we both had our share fun looking at my bone.

It didn't take us long after We heard Gerard close his bedroom door, before I was all over Frank again.

"oh god, I need you Mikey. Please.." Frank moaned out in pleasure when I found the pounding vein on god neck and licked it all the way. I grabbed his hand and we kissed our way into my room. I was the first one to hit the bed with my legs and as soon as Frank felt me stop, he gave me that sexy look and pushed me onto the bed. I just looked at him, let my eyes eat him hole. He looked amazing, his dark brown hair fell casually over his hazel eyes which were full of lust.

And when I thought that this situation couldn't be better, Frank started to rock his hips to the side, slowly and sensual. I licked my lips as he started to play with the hem of his shirt.

"Is this what you want, Mikes?" He pulled the shirt over his head and showed of his small, but muscled frame. I smiled when he came over to my and let his hands grab my shirt. He leaned forward and whispered in my ear, making me shiver from his hot breath.

"Your turn.."

It took us a millisecond before my shirt was thrown beside Frank's on the floor, both of their owners in a tight embrace. The feeling of his skin next to mine were the nest thing ever, and as he started to grind our really erected members against eachother, I knew it.

"Frank," I was panting now, the words got stuck in my throat.

"Yeah, baby.."

"I'm ready." He smiled and dived into my neck, kissing my jaw line.

"We better get out of these clothes then." He smirked at me.


	25. Pure Bliss

**Blondepotato: **He is Princess Perfect xD lol! OMG, magical unicorn, HA HA! But I'm sorry, I won't say anything other than that..

**Kobra Kid 8: **Wrote a new chapter now, and are gonna upload a few more this week! :) It's heading to an end though :/ And I'm so sad about it, but have been writing this for over 2 years, so it's about time to end it :) xoxo

**Chapter twenty four - Pure bliss**

**Mikey's POV**

It didn't take long before our jeans were pulled down and thrown down on the floor next to our shirts, Frank already in the action to take of my boxer. I laid my body down on the mattress, enjoying the sensation of his wet mouth hovering over the hem, blowing warm air on the erection, closing my eyes when it hit me. He licked my trail of pubic hair from my navel downwards. I moaned, and he didn't need anymore encouragement then that. He pulled my boxer, making me open my eyes to meet his gaze. Frank pulled his under lip forward, making innocent puppy dog eyes, leaving me giggling by his expression.

"You want them of?" I purred at him.

"Like yesterday babe." His hands tugged under my hip, pushing me up and pulling the fabric down, making me shiver from both anticipating and the cold air in the room. I couldn't help but look at Frank, his gorgeous eyes shining with lust when he made a big effort of throwing my boxers over his head, watching them fly through the air and land smoothly on the floor. He then leaned down and let his tongue trail from my bellybutton, past my erect nipples and landing on my neck, letting his intense and sex filled gaze lock with my the hole way up. I wanted to close them, just to save the feeling of him on my body, but he touched my face and shook his head.

"I want you to watch me, Mikey." I nodded my head, unable to say a word. He was dipping down, caressing my thigh with his hand, moaning into my hipbone. I started to pull on his underwear, wanting him to be as exposed as I was. Even though I was comfortable around Frank naked, I was still a bit weird about the whole sexual experience. It was completely new for me, handjobs, blowjobs, you name it. And sometimes it felt as though it was to good to be true, that's why I needed, craved, to have Frank naked next to me. Just to make the hole situation seem more real.

I leaned into him, whispering in his ear while nibbling softly on his earlobe, making him shiver and moan yet again.

"Take them of, please?" He didn't need more encouragement, as he sat up pulling the underwear down a few inches, raising an eyebrow towards me.

"So you want them of? Why is that Mikey?"

He was doing it really easy for me to play the innocent card, making him have the control. And that was how I liked it, him being the dominant part of the game.

So, I gave him the most puppy dog look I could pull of ever, making it more innocent than begging.

"Because I wanna suck on your beautiful dick?" I gave him a weak smile.

It took about a half a second before his boxer was ripped down his body, revealing the position he was in.

His cock ready for some action.

He came onto me again, sucking his way towards my face. I arched my back when he reached my stomach, hinting after more contact. He sucked in a big breath, and I prepared myself for what was coming. Instead, he pushed himself up and away, just looking at me with hungry eyes. My body twitched beneath him, begin for attention. He saw that I was struggling, so he took one of his hands and placed it on my hip.

So close, yet so far away. I sighed in frustration, but he laughed it of.

"Mikey, you are so beautiful. Like a piece of art." He traced his finger alongside my hip, rubbing circles with his thumb. "A perfect painting."

His kiss on my stomach made me giggle, as he blew a hot steam of air into my bellybutton.

"What artist?" Frank looked at me with amusement.

"What?" His look made me laugh.

"I wanna know if I'm weird perfect like Pablo Picasso's Guernica, mysterious perfect like Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa or just awkward prefect like Edward Munch's Scream." His hand came up and brushed my hair away from my face, smiling at me and sucked in a big breath.

"You are perfect perfect like Michael Way's most gorgeous painting ever. You are perfect because you are you. It's everything put together. Your brown eyes that sparkle in the sunshine, your cheekbone that wraps so gorgeous around that little nose of yours. And your lips, the way they open when you are so near an orgasm." I had to look away at him then with a smile and a slight blush on my cheeks.

"And your perfect personality that fits so perfectly with mine." He cupped my cheeks and turned my head to look at him. We locked eyes, starting into each other with love and care. "And I'm so glad that you let me paint a little part of you tonight. Thank you."

The kiss was, as you could guess, perfect. Moving together, tongues mixing, nibbling on lips, arms and legs wrapped around each other. Melting and becoming one person then on the bed.

"Frank, if we don't do anything soon, you will have me come before we are able to do the fun stuff!" I knew I was whining a bit when I said it, but I was so hard and leaking that it hurt.

"Oh sorry princess perfect. I will so make it up to you." He wiggled his cute butt out of the bed, and went over to his bag that was discarded on the floor.

"What are you doing? Leaving me?" He was searching after something in the bag, but took his time to look up at me.

"Oh no, I would never leave you in such a horny state, sugar. I'm just gonna get something that will make things a lot easier for us." He winked at me, and stuck his head back in the bag again.

After a few moments of searching, he nearly came bouncing onto the bed again. Holding a tube in his hands, triumph on his face. He put the tube next to us on the mattress, grabbing my thighs and pulling me closer to him, spreading my legs so he was sitting in between them. He started to kiss me frantically all over, like I was some sort of candy he wanted to eat.

"Baby, what's that?" I pointed at the tube. He took a hold of my legs again, and put them on top of his thighs, our dicks nearly brushing each other.

"It's lube. Wanna try it?" I nodded eagerly, while he popped the lid open and squirted some on his fingers.

"But, is it ok for you to bottom?" I didn't really think about it before I answered, because this was not an unfamiliar though from my side. This was something that had been inside my head for a few days.

"Yes, it's ok. I haven't down this before, and I really don't know what to do, and and."

"It's ok Mikey, I'll guide you."

I knew how gay sex worked.

There was a time were I wasn't really sure of myself. I tried to look at girls, try to find them sexy. With their curves, their boobs, and the lack of a bulge in their pants. But I soon found out that the boobs weren't really interesting, just two bumps of flesh, and that the bulge in the guy's pants was so much more exciting. So one day when Gerard was at the doctor, I went on google to experience certain things. I ended up exiting the straight sex sight, and jerk of to gay sex instead. And I kinda knew after that, that I was gay.

So theoretically, I was familiar with sex. But practically, I was scared and afraid to do something wrong. So it was a good thing that Frank was there with me, gently tugging a pillow underneath my hips, and slowly teasing my entrance. It was an odd feeling, having a finger inside your butt hole. I had never though that it felt good or that you could have sex with it.

Frank was so gentle and made sure I felt ok. He would lean in, kiss my lips carefully and smile at me. It didn't really hurt, at first. His fingers are not that big, it was more the weird feeling that made me scrunch up my face. But when he inserted a second one, I felt the start of a searing pain start in my hole and tense my muscles. He pushed his fingers slow and steady the whole way up to my hilt, before he scissorered them. I took a deep breath, trying to relax my spent muscles.

circumstances "I'm so sorry baby, but I promise you that I will make you scream my name in pleasure before this night ends." Despite of the slight pain I was in, a little giggle escaped my lips.

After a few more minutes, he soon had three fingers inside. It hurt quite a lot now, my hole throbbing from the initial stretching Frank's fingers were doing. It went on for a while, before the pain started to become more a dull ache. He would move his fingers in different angles, searching for that one spot. Suddenly a pleasuring feeling came sneaking up on me, making me move down and slowly fucking his fingers.

"Oh god, Frank. I'm ready. Please, fuck me." I begged him.

"God Mikey, with pleasure." He smiled and pulled his fingers out with great care. It felt empty, but that soon went away when I felt his dick brush over my cheeks. My breathing came out in shagged from nervousness and anticipation. My smile came lurking onto my face as Frank leaned forward, planting a kiss on my lips.

"You ready?"

"Please, do it." I breathed.

He positioned himself, and bucked his hips forward. His head felt soft, but hard against my entrance. It was such a weird, but amazing feeling, the way his head pushed at my opening, then, within moments, it popped inside. I was more aware of how the pain would feel, so it wasn't such a huge shock on my body this time, and I felt more at ease with the pain. And it just made it so much more real. This was really happening right now.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up, smiling, at Frank, who was now all the way inside. He had stopped moving, letting me adjust to his size.

"You ok?"

"Fucking great." We kissed like there was no tomorrow, lust filled and so turned on.

Frank's hips started to rock, making him slide in and out of me in a slow pace.

"Wow, Frank. This is amazing." My head fell back onto the mattress, arching my back a bit.

"You are amazing, Mikey. You are so tight." He grunted and soon he increased the speed of which he was sliding in and out. I started to giggle when I felt him move over me for every thrust.

"Wha-what are you doing?" I managed to get out between moans.

"I'm.. oh god.. Just trying.. Ugh.. To find.." He didn't need to say anything else, because I was nearly screaming out in pleasure. He hit my prostate dead on.

"Oh my god! Do that again, please?" He pulled out and quickly pushed himself hard and fast inside, hitting that pleasurable spot again and again. We were both moaning really loud, and I thanked god Gerard's room were down in the basement, while mine was on the second floor. Imagine Gerard's face in the morning if he had heard us now, the sound clearly showing what we were doing.

"You are so incredibly hot when you are arching your back like that." I smirked at him, giving him a sexy look before I arched my back like he said, making him going so deep into me.

"Ahh, like.. Uhh.. This?"

"Uh, fuck yeah!" He moaned out. He rubbed his hand over the muscles in my stomach, which were tightening by the force of my approaching orgasm.

"I'm so close, Mikey. Please, come for me, I can't hold myself much longer."

"Oh my fucking god, Frank. Oh Frank, Frankie. I love you." I was almost sobbing with relieve when his hand finally grabbed my dick, pumping me away into a pure bliss. The feeling was so intense that I had trouble laying still under Frank.

"Oh my god, Frank. I'm so there!" My muscles clenched together, sending over the edge. My gaze was locked on Frank, into his eyes, making the orgasm so more intense. I could see when he was into that state of orgasm bliss, because his lips parted and a huge grunt came out.

We both rode out our orgasms, collapsing in a pile of legs and arms. Frank on top of me, both feeling the others sweet mixing together. I smiled when he lifted his hand to stroke a handful of hair out of my eye.

"What color?" He raised his brown and opened his mouth, question what I had just said.

"What color did you use to paint me?"

"Oh, isn't that obvious?" He looked down on my stomach were my cum was still attached after my orgasm. I followed his gaze and my eyes widened by the sight.

"wanna take a shower?" He asked.

"Yeah." I jumped up from the bed, chasing him into the shower across the hall.

**Gerard's POV**

The unmistakable sound of a phone that was buzzing, went of not far away from my head. I moaned in frustration, but kept my eyes closed.

I never used my phone as an alarm, so someone was calling me on a saturday morning at.. Hm, what was the time? I opened my eyelid a few millimeter, and saw the familiar red number on my alarm clock.

"It's fucking 8 am!" I grunted and rolled over on my side, holding onto my stomach while the known pain shot through my system like a bullet. It always hurt these days, and I was so sick and tired of it. The phone kept buzzing away, giving me a feeling that whoever called me at this time was in a rush to get a hold of me.

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming." I said out loud to nobody, other then my phone. I was still holding my stomach, even though I knew it wouldn't go anywhere. Or maybe I should just let go and hoping that it would go and bother someone else. With one hand, I reached over and grabbed the vibrating thing, giving a quick gaze at the caller I.D., which I didn't recognize, and pressed the green button.

"Hello?" My voice oozed sleep, while I waited for a respond on the other end.

"Hi Gerard, this is Dr. Santiago from the hospital. I hope I didn't wake you up?"

"Oh no, I was just about to get up." I lied to be polite.

"That's good. I'm sorry to call you this early on a saturday, but I was wondering if you were available today? I want to talk to you about something important, and it's best if you could drop by my office." I was a bit irritated that we couldn't just do this over phone, but I had to go to the mall anyway, so a small trip into the hospital wasn't such a huge detour.

"Sure, I can come. When would you want me to come over?" I held back a yawn, and rubbed my eyes, wishing the sleepiness away.

"10 am would be perfect, if that is ok with you?" He had woken me up at 8 am, and the pain in my stomach was too much of a big deal to make me sleep again, so I agreed on meeting him then.

"Great Gerard, well. I'll see you then. Take care!"

"You too, bye."

After hanging up, I took up from bed, feeling like a 80-year-old guy without help from a nurse. I sighed and went to find some painkillers that could stop the pain, thinking about what could possibly be so important that I had to go and meet him on a saturday. I just gotta have some patience and wait till at I get at the hospital, I though when turning on the water and stepping into the shower.

But I couldn't shrug of the feeling that something was wrong..


	26. Where everything is possible

**Chapter twenty five - Were everything is possible**

**Gerard's POV**

The shower felt soothing on my body. I closed my eyes, letting the hot water wrap around my shaking frame, still trembling from the hurt in my stomach. I focused on rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, before I stepped out wrapping a big towel around me. I smiled at the sensation and calmness it gave me. It was my favorite piece of fabric ever made, the green worn-down towel.

After pulling on some clean clothes and grabbing my coffee, I headed upstairs to let the boys know that I was leaving.

I knocked on the door three times, waited patiently a few minutes between each one, before I slowly opened it. I almost ran to get the camera when I saw the two lovebirds wrapped up into a hug underneath the duvet. I sighed happily and thanked god that Mikey had found someone to be with other then just me. It wasn't healthy to just be around a sick person all the time. He was so young, he should be out there, partying and coming home drunk, and fall asleep next to the toilet after nearly puking up his stomach.

But don't get me wrong, I was really happy that Mikey were more of the mature type. But sometimes I kept wondering what our lives would have been if it was normal, like it was supposed to be. Living with our parents in a healthy and safe environment. When I was younger, the thoughts were haunting me every day, every hour, almost every second. But as we became older, and I reached the legal age, we were able to settle down into this house and live a more normal life. And it was a great feeling, living a normal life.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, not wanting to wake both of them up. I leaned down to Mikey's ear and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Mikey?" I whispered in his ear. He shifted under my touch, nuzzling against my hand.

"Mhm?" He half moaned in sleep.

"I'm going out for a few hours, will be back later. Ok? There is coffee downstairs and I have my phone with me, so just call if you guys need anything."

"Ok, Gee. Love you, be safe." His eyes were still closed, his small body safely tucked under the blankets. I couldn't help but smile by his cuteness and I leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"Love you too, Mikes."

The car ride to the hospital didn't take long, and it was a familiar rode, which I had taken, loads of times. In my car or in an ambulance.

My mind kept wandering back to the conversation with Dr. Santiago earlier. 'What could be so important that I had to come by on a saturday?' kept popping up. I tried to shrug them away and not think about it, but how could I not? And the more I thought about it, the more scared I got. I hit my head with my fist, trying to beat the stream away. It didn't work, and as I pulled onto the parking lot at the hospital, my heart was racing a hundred miles per hour. I could almost feel my blood rushing through my system. A deep breath emerged from my lungs, trying to keep myself calm as the electric doors opened up for me.

"Here goes." I mumbled to no one in particularly.

I was used to the amount of delays, so I didn't expect to come in right away, but as my gaze went down to my watch, and I noticed it was 9.59 am, as a nurse came out and called me in. She was in her mid 50's, just barely hovering 5 feet over the ground. Her name was Claire, and she was the head nurse of the cancer department. I smiled at her, remembering how she took care of me the first time I was in here.

It was so quiet in the hall, just our shoes making clacking noises against the floor. The walls were white, plain sterile white, just the color I loved most in the world.. I sighed and used the palm of my hand to rub my eyes.

"So, how are you feeling, Gerard?" She watched me over her shoulder, leading me towards a door, which I recognized as my doctors.

"I'm good, just a bit tired, that's all. Late night yesterday." I gave her a half-hearted smile when she knocked and got a faint "come in!" She patted my shoulder, and guided me in.

"Go on, sweetie." I grabbed the chair in front or Dr. Santiago's desk and slowly made me way down on it. My stomach was still aching, and my movements were adapting the not so lovable hurt.

"Hi, Gerard!" He smiled at me and shook my hand.

"Hi!" We smiled politely at each other, and I was hoping that this didn't have to take long. We stayed that way for a few seconds, just smiling and looking at one another. I soon got a bit inpatient though, and asked him what had been on my mind since he woke me up that morning.

"Well, Gerard, the last time you were here, before you went home, we just took a blood sample and a bone marrow sample to check up on the leukemia."

'Oh god, how I hated that word.' I nodded, crossing my fingers under the desk.

"We got the results, and.." Dr. Santiago reached up and massaged his temple, looking down into nothing. He took a deep breath before he continued, looking me straight into the eyes.

"Gerard, it's not an easy way to say this, and I really wish that I had some different news to give you, but.."

'Oh no, I'm gonna..'

"I'm so sorry, but it had spread. At this point it's out of control, and I'm really sorry, but there is nothing more that we can do. We can start a treatment now that can give you more weeks or days, but eventually you will die."

'Die', the word hit me as a punch in the stomach. He could have just hit me in the head with a frying pan and then throw me of the building, that would have hurt less then the news he flashed me right now.

"You mean that I'm gonna die soon? How long do I have left?" I kept looking into his blue eyes, I saw the sorrow reflecting from my eyes to his.

"It's really hard to say, but I would say that we talk about months here Gerard. And probably not more than 6 months."

'6 months.' Fuck my life, literally fuck it. I was so sick and tired of this, having to fight to stay alive, and then having someone tell you that your are gonna be dead in the next few months? It wasn't fair.

I started to cry. Big tears rolled down my checks, leaving a wet trail down onto my t-shirt.

"If you want to talk to someone, we have a really good support team here at the hospital. I can hook you up?" I nodded in approval, not really thinking too much about it. My body felt numb and all I wanted to do was just go home, climb into bed and cry my heart out.

"This sucks.." I looked at Dr. Santiago again with watering eyes.

"I know, I just wish that we could do more, that someone had a cure for cancer. But I haven't give up just yet, I'm gonna do some research and read about other people in your situation. So don't give up just yet, Gerard. Ok?"

"Ok." I gave him a weak smile and a nod. I slowly lifted my body up from the chair, motioning that I wanted to leave.

"Is it ok for you to start the treatment on tuesday at 11 am?"

"Yeah, of course." He nodded and typed the appointment at his computer.

"So, I'm gonna send you a letter with the information about it, and if there is anything you are curious or want to know, just give me a call."

"Ok, thank you." I started to walk towards the door, eager to get out of there.

"You welcome. I'll see you on tuesday! Bye!"

"Bye!" I opened the door, and almost ran out to my car, bumping into people on my way and losing my key on the ground three times before I finally managed to push the door open and get into the driver seat. Once inside I felt the panic rise in my body, starting from my toes, going through my stomach, making me feel sick, upwards past my lungs, getting the feeling that I was nearly drowning, and going up to my head, making my mind go nuts. I hyperventilated and cried my guts out, letting the panic consume me into its world of fear and stress. I was sobbing like a five year old getting lost in the woods, the only difference was that I was lost in life.

My body started to tremble and I lost control of it for every second. It was the most hateful feeling I had ever had, but I couldn't stop it. I started to rock back and forth in the car, sobbing hysterical, when I heard the car door open and two strong arms grabbed me. I got scared for just a millisecond, the only thing that was missing, me getting robbed and killed in my car. Or maybe that was a good thing?

But I didn't get the chance to think about it further, because the two arms that was holding med tight had a soothing, dark voice belonging to it.

"Just cry it out, I've got you. You are safe with me." I leaned into the stranger's shoulders, making not just mine, but also his t-shirts a wet spot from my tears. His arms felt so safe and big around my small and trembling body. I was shaking with all of the emotions, but he kept hugging me, letting me feel safe for know. He managed to lift me up and place me on his lap, and even though it was awkward to sit like that in the small space, we managed to get comfortable. And we sat like that for what felt like hours, my sobbing going down bit by bit, only to be replaced by a slow and steady breathing. I started to become curious about my savior, so I let my gaze wander up to his face.

He was looking down at me, smiling with a set of amazing brown eyes. And his hair, it was dark brown, long and just so fuzzy! I couldn't help but giggle.

"Your hair, wow, its just.." He laughed and smiled, showing of his white teeth.

"I know, it's kinda wild and out there, but I tried to straighten it once and it looked like hell." My hand found it's was to his head, even before I asked.

"Can I.. Like.. Touch it?" I let my hand roam through it, smiling at how soft it was. Almost like a sheep's wool.

"You are kinda already doing it, so go ahead." I withdrew my hand fast and blushed.

"Sorry."

"No, don't be! You are not the first one, and.. Your touch felt nice." Now it was his turn to blush, before his face turned into a thinking one.

"But, can I ask why what's wrong? You were almost falling apart out here."

"Oh that, I was just.. Ehm.. Just.. You know.." The blood was rushing up to my cheeks as I scratched my head furiously.

"Hey, you don't have to tell me. We kinda don't know each other." He laughed after his statement, his hair falling into his eyes. I suddenly realized that I was sitting in his lap, so I jumped to my feet and looked down at him who had a puzzled face.

"I.. I'm sorry. Your legs must be hurting." I was still scratching the back of my head, looking down on my shoes. He pushed himself up, and I noticed that he was quite tall. Probably around 6 feet tall.

"It's ok, you are actually not that heavy."

"Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment. And I better get going." I took a step forward, losing my balance for a moment, just to have the feeling of his hands wrapped around my shoulders, helping me stand up.

"Are you sure you wanna drive in your state? I don't mean to be rude or anything, but you look really tired. Maybe I should drive you home? Were do you live?" It got more difficult so stand up, and my stomach made a hop and a string of pain shot through me. My arms wrapped around it protectively, letting out a moan. He looked down in my eyes, worry written on his face.

"Are you ok? Is something wrong?"

"Could you maybe, I don't know, get me home? I don't feel so good." He started to lead me towards the passenger site.

"Sure I can."

I guided him to my house, not caring if I didn't knew this guy, I just wanted to get back into my bed and snuggle up, breathing the pain away. Both physical and mental.

"I'm Ray by the way, Ray Toro." His eyes met mine for a brief second, before he looked at the rode again.

"I'm Gerard Way, and thank you so much for helping me out. You are right, I don't feel so good. I just wanna get in my bed again." I coughed and squeezed my belly tighter from the intense pain.

"Do you want me to help you inside?" He had parked the car and came over to my side, taking a hold around my waits to help me up.

"Do you want to? I don't feel like walking alone, my legs are way to wobbly." He still had the keys in his hand, so he unlocked the front door and nearly lifted me inside. We took our time getting me down the narrow steps down to my room in the basement, both Mikey and Frank was still asleep in their bedroom, and I was sort of relieved by that. Mikey knew me to well, he would never believe me if I said that everything was alright.

"Here we are then!" Ray gently placed me down on my bed.

"Thank you so much, you are a saving angel!" I smiled at him, letting my teeth show.

"You're welcome, I love to help people." We had a silent moment after that, not really knowing what to say to each other. But it wasn't one of those awkward ones, just a peaceful silence wrapping both of us up in a comforting zone. I released my arm from around my stomach, a really big mistake.

The pain shot through me like daggers, and I screamed out. Ray was there right away, taking me into a hug.

"Gerard, were are you hurting?" I groaned my answer to him.

"Oh god, my stomach."

"Do you want me to drive you back to the hospital?" He sounded really concerned, and nobody could blame him. My outburst was quite scary for me as well.

"No no, if you could just give me two of those pills on my nightstand? And there is a bottle of water next to it." It didn't take long before the pills slid down my throat, and after just 10 minutes the pain were slowly going away. Ray was still holding me tight, giving me the impression that he wasn't gonna let me go before I was all safe.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes, much better." His hand touched my forehead, and stayed there for a few seconds.

"You are really hot, do you want me to get something for you?" I shook my head and looked up at him.

"If you could, because the pills makes me really drowsy and my body feels like it weighs 1000 pounds, so could you like, get me out of these clothes?" I tried to focus my eyes on his face, but it was to hard, sleep coming over me.

"Of course I can." He gently laid me down on the bed, and started to unbutton my jeans, slipping them down my skinny hips and of my legs.

It felt odd having a complete stranger undressing me, but something about Ray was so different. Almost like we had known each other for years. He even found my favorite t-shirt in my drawer, pulling of my hoodie, and slipping the cool fabric onto my skin. His touch felt nice on my skin, making me want more at one point. He wrapped me up in my blankets, making sure my pillow was nicely tucked under my head.

"I can write you a note with my number on it, if you need something?" He turned around, heading for my desk to find some paper. I felt a sudden urge running through my body.

I couldn't let him go, not yet.

"Please, stay with me?" It sounded hoarse from my throat, but it made him turn around on the spot.

"What?" His voice was so gentle it made my heart blush.

"Please.. Stay? Will you?" He nodded and made his way to the bed again.

"Can you hold me? Till I fall asleep?" He smiled and slowly took his jeans of, making himself more comfortable under the hot duvet.

I sighed when with happiness when I felt his arms wrap around my body. He was so warm against my skin, and even though there were two layers of clothing and flesh keeping our heart apart, I could feel his steady rhythm.

"Thank you."

"It' my pleasure." He stroked my back, and I could feel my eyes shutter close with each stroke up and down. I smiled before my head went into a state full of dreams were everything is possible.


	27. A day to remember

**Smut for Blondepotato ^_^**

**Chapter twenty six - A day to remember **

**Frank's POV **

I woke up with something hard, bit quite soft, trying to dig its way into my back. I reached back, grabbing it in my hand, chuckling when a loud moan vibrated against my neck, hot breath sending a spark through my body.

"Oh god Frank, why can't I be woken up like this every day?" I continued to squeeze him, getting just the response I was hoping for. His arms wrapping around my waist and moans going into light panting noises.

"Well, it's not everyday I wake up with a hard on digging into my spine either." Laughing, I rolled over so I was facing Mikey.

"Hi, gorgeous." I stroked his cheek, and pushed some of his hair away.

"So what do we do with that then, " slipping my thumb over the slit, hearing Mikey letting out more swearwords.

"Hm, yes. It is quite a problem." My smile grew wider when I realized how dirty I could make this sound. Still holding his cock in my hand, I brushed my fingers across his nipples, feeling him shiver all the way down to his toes. "You know what they say. There isn't something called problems, just solutions." He shut his eyes in pure pleasure, inviting me to lean in and suck on his neck. His breath caught up in his throat, when my lips touched the purple mark I made last night.

"So,'' Mikey was slightly trembling, having a hard time getting the words out. "What do you wanna do with my solution then?" I smirked to myself, enjoying were this was going.

I let go of Mikey, giggling when he whined, but only to moan out again when I pushed him onto his back, straddling his waist, giggling again when I realized that We were really dressed for this occasion, my naked butt pressing against his erection, rubbing back and forth. Pure lust filled me all the way, making me hungry for the beautiful guy lying underneath me. Eyes now open and shining with anticipation.

"I think the best thing to do is ride it down." I tried to hold back the biggest smirk ever when I made a downward hand gesture, matching my statement. But I failed big time, especially when Mikey cracked up.

"Oh my god! Frank! You are so dirty minded today!" My laughter nearly made me fall of Mikey, so I leaned down, both hands on his chest, kissing my way up to his face, trying to gain some control.

"But don't stop, it's turning me on." He winked at me with an animalistic look, attacking my lips. It was a rough one, and Mikey was clearly being the dominant one. Which suited me quite fine.

Thinking back to the first time I saw him, he had grown so much. I always had the urge to tell him how perfect he was. Because he really was, and it stung my heart that he had trouble believing that for himself. Suddenly I got this brilliant idea, I wanted to show him how much he turned me on. How much I wanted him to give me the most pleasure I have ever had in my life. To prove to him how much I cared for him, and how well we fitted together. "M-Mikey," I spoke between the kiss, "we are gonna have mind-blowing sex, and then we are going out for some special time together." He broke of the kiss completely, making me pout and whine, but making it up by stroking my rapid growing erection.

"Ok, where is the lube?" I giggled, leaning over to find it, wiggling my ass in the air, knowing he was looking at me.

"Someone is eager," I poked his nose, and gave him the bottle, moving my hips, both of us moaning out when our dicks grinned towards each other. "Well, I did wake up with your hand on my dick, while I had a really wet dream about me fucking you, and I woke up before I actually got of. So if you don't want my balls to fall of due to neglecting, then I suggest that we should get on with this." I pretended to think really hard after that statement, but it just came out giggling.

"I don't really wanna spend my saturday at the ER, sowing on your balls again, and not to mention all the blood we have to clean up. It's way more convenient to just let you fuck me I guess."

"But the mess is gonna be there though," Mikey smiled.

"But cum is way more fun than blood." I attacked him with my lips then and begged him to do something. He opened the bottle and took some on his fingers.

"You'll need to guide me then. I haven't been on the giving side before." I reassured him, and reach out to take his hand. Soon he was knuckle deep inside of me, two fingers sliding in and out. The burning was there, but his long fingers brushing my prostate for every scissoring motion made it all worth it. My moaned forced its way out from my closed lips, and I was almost drooling from it all. I held onto his shoulder for all I was worth, letting him know how good it all felt. He smiled down at me, clearly proud of himself. Mikey kept fingering me until I nearly begged him to fuck me. I was so eager, straddling him before he even had a change to pull his fingers out. I squirted too much lube in my palm, a big lump fell down on the sheets. "Fuck, now we need to do the laundry as well." I giggled before I let my hand coat his erection. He moaned into the laugh, and squirmed when I lifted myself, holding onto his base to guide it to my entrance. I let gravity pull me slowly down, and felt the head pop through the ring of muscles, stretching me. It was amazing, finally having Mikey inside of me. It was something I had dreamt about for a long time, and way more intense then I had ever thought it would be. I looked down to meet Mikey's gaze when I immediately started to rotate my hips sensually.

"Oh god, this just feels way to good."

I was hypnotized by his state, eyelids flickering, head thrown back, and hips gently pushing up, his cock going so deep and so close to that special spot. "Mikey, you are looking so amazing right now." I was riding him a bit faster when I leaned in to steal a wet kiss. Lips crashing, making sucking noises. My head fell back when I rode him even faster then before, starting to pick myself up so only his head was still inside of me. I slammed down onto his thin frame, almost losing control of myself when he hit my prostate dead on. Wanting more, I increased the speed, hitting on just the right angle every time.

"Frank," I giggled when I heard his lost and panting voice, "this is the most sexy thing I have ever seen."

"Ah," I moaned out, the hot breath hitting his chest, making him shiver, "me too. And I just love to do this to you." I stroked his hair and smiled at him. Still lifting myself up and down with my hands on his chest, when he suddenly surprised me by rolling us over so I was on my back under him. I let out a small whine by the sudden change from things, but fell back moaning when his hips thrust hard into my ass, making the earth move and the mattress squeak. The feeling hit me hard, amount of pleasure mixing with satisfaction from his dominate behavior.

I closed my eyes when I felt his index finger sensually sliding from my belly down to my hip. I nearly sang out moans, when his hand stopped at my left hip.

"Mikey. Touch me, please baby?" I arched my back, letting him know that I needed to feel his hand on my leaking hard on. Now.

I sucked in a deep breath, almost chocking on it, when the first squeeze from his hand appeared. His rhythm was fast and clearly wanted to make me come as fast as human being possible.

"Cum for me?" His voice rasp and breathless, and I could feel my orgasm approach.

"Fuck, Mikey! I'm so close!" The warmth was so intense, my body writhing from the huge amount of pleasure. I lost myself in an orgasmic bliss, not able to hold back the biggest moan I have ever made.

"I'm… Fuck! Oh god!" Grabbing the sheet with one hand and Mikey's shoulder with the other, arching my back till the cramp nearly got me. I came. On both Mikey and me. It was a feeling I had ever felt before. So intense that my heart almost stopped. Mikey came right after me, moaning and releasing himself inside my hole. We both fell limp on the bed, tangled into a knot of sweat, panting and sex.

"That was…" Mikey tried to catch his breath between the words. I couldn't stop the stupid smirk I had on my face, clearly showing which country I was in. Amazing post sex feeling-land of God. But I couldn't help feeling a bit impatience for some reason.

"Mikey?" I brushed his cheek with my thumb, pouting my lips, and gave him a look only a puppy and Frank Iero could pull of. He laughed when he saw my face, knowing me pretty well by now.

"What do you want Frankie?" His forefinger tracing patterns on my belly.

"Can we go out, I have something planned, and I want you to come with me", I met his eyes, and he gave me a nod before we slowly pulled us up and out of bed.

"Frank, were are we going?" I was almost running, anticipating what I was soon going to do.

"Wait and see", smirking when I opened the door to an old and small store. I walked in with Mikey following right behind me. I heard a small gasp coming from Mikey when he realized what kind of store this was. I giggled and went over a bench, smiling to the girl sitting behind it reading a magazine.

"Hi!" I was a bit nervous, so it came out a pitch too high. She raised her head, and jumped on her feet.

"Hi! I'm so sorry, didn't see you there!" She was quite short, probably just 5'1.

"That's alright. Ehm, I have an appointment now?"

"What's your name?" She started to look through a book that held all of the appointments.

"Uh, Frank Iero." Her slim finger traced all of the names down the page, stopping when she came to my.

"Oh, yeah! Lip piercing. Just fill out this form, and sign it. I'll go and tell Jess that you are here." She gave me a pen and a form, and slipping through a door.

"Frank! Lip piercing! That is so cool!" Mikey's smile was so wide as he took in all of the pictures from various piercing and stopped, almost chocking on his own tongue when he saw on picture on the wall. He poked me in the side while I was trying to write down my information.

"Frank, look. Frank! Look!" I looked up at him, a bit annoyed, but let the pen drop when I saw what he was looking at.

"Oh my god, Mikey! Do you want one of those?" I purred into his ear, biting softly at his lobe.

"Hell no, that gotta hurt like a bitch!" I looked at the picture again, blushing at the erect cook with a big ring through the head of it. The image that a title as well, "Prince Albert". We laughed some more, but stopped when the girl came back.

I gave her the form and she pointed at the door.

"She is ready, so you can just step inside. Your friend can come too if he want to." I nodded and reached for Mikey's hand.

"You better hold my hand motherfucker. I'm a nervous bitch right now." He just giggled, but held my hand tight.

The room was really nice, but smelled like a hospital. It held a black leather chair in the middle, and a few tables with a lot of stuff on it. A girl, probably around 26, sat on a small chair, smiling at me.

"Hi, I'm Jess!" I smiled nervously at her.

"Hi, I'm Frank, and this is Mikey." She smiled and nodded towards us.

"So, were do you want it?" I touched my lip on the left side.

"I want it on this side, on the lower lip. And I want it as high up as you can get it, but not on the lip."

"Ok, just sit down on the chair here, and rinse your mouth with this." It was a green liquid, which almost burned my mouth. I saw Jess making sure she had all the stuff she needed.

"You can spit now."

'Oh thank god', this stuff really know how to burn your mouth of. My cheeks almost felt numb, and my tongue screamed after some water.

"Do you want a labret or a ring?" I didn't really need to think about that, a ring of course! She took out one of the rings with a big tweezers looking think, and poured some disinfectant liquid over it.

"So, I'm gonna disinfect you lip, and then I'm gonna make the hole! Ok?" I just nodded and grabbed after Mikey's hand. The cotton swab was cold and smelled, and she whipped of my lip before she put it away, grabbing the needle.

"Ready?" I closed my eyes, and nodded again.

"Ok, take a deep breath, and when you let the air come out, I'm gonna do it." I took a deep breath, clinging to Mikey's hand, when I let my breath fall out of my lungs again. I felt a short pain, and some throbbing in my lip.

"Ok, then I'm done. The next step is to put the ring in!" Are you ok down there?" I couldn't really stop smiling, the needle was in and it was nearly as bad as I though it would be. It was a weird sensation, and my lip was almost trembling when I smiled, out of both nervousness and adrenaline.

"Yes, I'm alright."

"It was so cool to watch, it just went like straight through. Like a knife through butter!" Mikey smiled down at me, his eyes sparkled.

We went out of the store hand in hand, me with a slightly swollen and sore lip. Mikey had a childish smile and peeked over at my face every second. We shared the same feeling, there was something odd in my lip, but in a cool way.

"What do you think?" I wanted to touch it, but after reading the after care list, I didn't dare because of the dangerous of it getting infected.

"You are unbelievable hot with that ring. I just wanna take you right here and now." Mikey came closer, purring into my ear. I felt like a schoolgirl, blushing at his words.

"Mikey! What's got into you?" I giggled and half hid my face under my hand.

"So, do you wanna go home and experiment some more in the bed?" He kissed my neck, and I was ready to push him away. I wasn't a person that cared about what other people thought about Mikey and I kissing in public, but I had to draw the line at getting a public boner.

"Walk fast!" I wheezed into his ear, tugging him along. The cutest giggle let out of his throat when he followed me on the way back to his house.

"You don't want anything at the store?" Mikey questioned me as we quickly walked past it.

"I just need you, Mikey." Stopping and caressed his cheek with a quick motion. He licked his lips, aiming at me lustfully.

"Horny bitch." He whispered.

"Sassy ass." I smirked back. He grabbed me from behind, keeping me still by holding my waist.

"You.. Me.. Bed.. NOW.." Mikey said almost panting out the words, making me shiver.

"Whatever you say, primadonna."


	28. In a moment like this

**Chapter twenty seven – In a moment like this**

**Gerard's POV**

Waking up, realizing I had another person in bed, was weird, but in a good way. I couldn't help but hold my breath as I heard Ray's steady breath and a soft snoring sound emerge out from his parted lips. He had his strong arm tossed over my small shoulders, keeping me close. He was so cute with his brown fluffy hair being everywhere and his face showed so much peace and comfort. I closed my eyes and snuggled even closer to him, feeling his warmth wrap around my shaking frame.

"Mhm?" A cozy sound fell from Ray, as he started to move. I was afraid that he was going to pull away from me when he saw how close we were. I watched him open his eyes and stare at me, only inches away from one another. I sighed when I felt him hugging me even closer to his beating heart and skin.

"Wow…" He said breathless. I peeked up at him, scanning his eyes.

"What?"

"No, I just… Oh man. This is kinda embarrassing." He blushed and my smile grew when I heard his nervousness.

"It's really good to wake up like this you know? I haven't felt like this in forever. I know I just met you, like yesterday, but there is something special about you." I had to turn my head away from him; I didn't want to show the wetness in my eyes forming. His words meant so much, just struck my heart like a lightning bolt. His thumb came up to caress my chin, tilting my head to meat his eyes again. I studied him, almost drowning in his brown orbs. They were huge, holding me still in my spot. I was breathless.

"Wow…" I mumbled, amazed. Of what, I really didn't know, but Ray was taking me by storm right now.

"What?" He laughed a bit, still holding my chin in his hand. I smiled, and looked down at his hand, his light touch sending shivers through my body. Waking up the butterflies that I was absolute sure I was never going to feel again. I took a deep breath, before slowly making my way closer to him. I saw that he stiffened up a bit, but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. Not now. I was so close.

I felt the warm air from his longs. I snuggled closer, getting up on my arms and knees.

His hand dropped from my chin.

Our noses touched.

I closed my eyes and just felt him, bringing my hand up to his cheeks, sitting back with my legs curled up underneath me.

I giggled a bit when my other hand followed the first, cupping his face in them, holding him still.

Holding him there.

I didn't want to let him go, the urge of feeling him closer to me was to big. Our breathing matched now, almost panting by the build up anticipation.

And then, I leaned in and planted my lips gently on his. I almost moaned, finally feeling him, his soft lips holding still as we just felt each other. Getting to know him through the light kiss.

We pulled away just a few seconds after, and my giggles didn't help me with getting my breath back. I felt like a schoolgirl getting her first kiss.

"Oh, wow… Gerard. That was just." Ray let his strong hand comb through his hair. Well, trying to. The curls were gently stopping his fingers. He tried to pull them out, but got stuck.

"Here, let me help you…" I raised my body up, and got a hold of his hand as I tried to wiggle it out from the hair, pulling a bit, as I got braver.

"What the? This hair is like a death trap!" Laughing, I almost fell over when his hand suddenly attached from the hair. Ray caught me, but he lost his balance, both of us falling down on the mattress. Bouncing slightly on it, before settling down.

"Sorry, I should have known better. One time, when my mom forced me to comb it, the brush got stuck. It was horrible! We had to go to the hairdresser, and I walked out with my head skinned. Never again," he shook his head, giggling, "I don't like hairbrushes."

It amused me as I tried to picture Ray skinned, a smile creeping on my lips, which he saw and tried to wipe of by attacking me.

"Gerard, that's not funny!" He half laughed and pouted. I giggled into his stomach, sticking my nose into his soft belly, trying to stop him from tickling me. But Ray had my wrists pinned together, not letting me go anywhere.

"Oh god Ray! You're killing me!" I was laughing hysterical now, his fingers being everywhere on my body, going straight to the most ticklish spots. He suddenly let me go, sitting on top of me with his legs on each side of my slim hips, looking down at me.

"I need coffee." My smile grew wider, as did the butterflies in my stomach.

"Then will go and get coffee."

"I know it's probably not none of my business, but what happened back at the hospital?" We sat at the kitchen table, coffee in two cops and a tee shirt richer. As soon as the question came out, I started to play with the handle on my Starbucks mug. Ray saw my nervous state, putting his hand comforting over mine.

"You don't have to tell me Gerard, I understand. You barely know me, and I." I cut him of, shaking my head, looking him straight into those breathtaking eyes.

"No, it's not that. I just… I trust you; it's just something I'm not used to yet. The thought of it, and…"

'I'm afraid that you might be scared and run of if you knew', the words got stuck in my throat. Tears threatening to spring up to the surface, hurting my eyes on the way out. I closed them, squeezing the liquid out, let them run down my chin.

I was going to die. And I didn't know how long I had left. That was the worst part. Not knowing. The expression 'living your day, as if it were you're last', had never meant more to me than now. And my time was running up, and it stressed me out. There was so much that I wanted to do, so much I wanted to see, to feel.

"It's not fair, you know?" I looked up at Ray, tears painting my eyes. Ray's brown orbs tried to read me; I could see the pain reflecting in them. My hand held onto his as I started to cry softly.

"What's not fair?" He asked softly, moving closer to stroke my back.

"I had so much going on in my life! So many plans, so much I wanted to do. I wanted to be an artist, write comic books that would enjoy someone. I wanted to sing in a band, I wanted to make a difference for the world. But, just look at me now. So weak." I took a big breath, it came out shaky from the amount of tears that mixed with it.

"And I'm gonna disappear soon." Holding gaze with Ray, I sighed and prepared for what was coming. Would he storm out?

"I'm gonna die."

We sat still for what seemed like forever, me trying to read Ray's face. It made me weak looking at his emotionless face. His eyes gave nothing away, no fear or sadness.

But he was still here, and that was the only thing that mattered right now.

"I don't know what to say, Gerard. But I'm so sorry." And here it comes, the grand finally. I have heard this before. 'I'm so sorry, but I can't do this. I do care about you, but I'm not ready for this. I'm sorry, Gerard, but I have to break up with you.' What about me? Do you think I'm ready for this, for what is coming? What I hoped wasn't coming for a while. Death. But here I am, holding onto with just a thin thread, begging the bad man with the scissor to just wait a bit longer before he cut it of. Cutting me away from the earth, from the people I love and care about.

I had zoomed out, but got fished back into reality by a hand stroking my cheek.

"I'm not gonna leave you." I stared at him with big eyes, begging him to continue, because I knew that if I opened my mouth I would just start to cry hysterical again.

"There is something special about you, Gerard Way, and I'm not gonna leave before I find out what it is. But if I do find out, there is a chance that I will never leave." He grabbed my hand that was tracing a heart pattern on the mug, he held it close to him, kissing it and humming happily.

We jumped a part, mugs and coffee flying everywhere, when the front door suddenly flew open, two teens groping and kissing each other, leaving no evidence behind that they were really horny. I looked over at the two, who obviously was Frank and Mikey, and rinsed my throat. They jumped in surprise, and turned around, Mikey blushing like a little girl.

"Oh, hi Gerard and…" He waved his signature wave and nodded towards Ray.

"This is Ray, and this is my brother Mikey, and his boyfriend Frank." I tried to pretend that this wasn't an awkward situation, while smiling and asking them if they wanted some coffee. But by looking at how tight their jeans was I could already guess the answer. They started to walk slowly towards the stairs, Mikey dragging a giggling Frank along with him.

"We have some… Ehm…" He looked over at Frank, clearly wanting some help. Frank was completely calm, an aroused smile planted on his face.

"Schoolwork." Mikey lit up, and nodded.

"Yeah, schoolwork." He panted out. I noticed there was something different with Frank, bit it wasn't before they both had almost jumped up the stairs and shut the door behind them, that I could pick out what it was.

"Piercing!" I mumbled under my breath.

"What did you say?" Ray poked my cheek.

"Frank has got a lip piercing." Biting my lip, I couldn't help but shiver.

"You cold?" I heard the concern in his voice, and I couldn't help but smile. He was being so nice to me, way to nice.

"No, I just hate needles."

We made our way into the living room, Ray sat down on the couch, while I went and turned on some music. I didn't want to hear any other noises in the house right now. That would have been way to weird. I sat down next to Ray, wanting nothing more than just snuggled right into his warm chest. To bad I was such a coward when it came to these things. Luckily Ray made the first move, wrapping an arm over my shoulders, pulling me close to him.

"Please, say something." I begged Ray with laughter.

"What?"

"I really don't want to hear the things that I hope is not going on upstairs."

"Remember when we were so young, just looking at someone could make you all hot and bothered?" The way he asked the question, made me feel like we had known each other for years. I nodded in approval, and looked up at him.

"Things change, sometimes for the better. I remember one time. We had art, my favorite subject, when my teacher, a young male just past 20, came over to me and put a hand on my thigh, and took a hold of my hand. He was just going to show me how to draw a line, but the result was that I had to hide a boner for the rest of the period. It almost killed me." I laughed out loud by the memory, Ray following me.

"Oh man, that is like the ultimate fear!"

"Yes, I know. I'm so glad that we are able to control certain things a lot better now."

Ray stayed with me the hole day, we listened to music and just talked, asking questions about everything.

"Were are you from?" I was currently resting my head against his chest, Ray's arms holding me close. I loved how I could hear his voice humming inside his chest every time he spoke.

"I'm from New Jersey actually. Not far from here. I went to Belleville high school, it's really weird that we haven't met each other before." I shook my head.

"No, it's not weird. I never went to a public school, I was home trained, as I like to say." Letting out a tiny laugh, I brushed my thumb and forefinger over his cheek.

"Mhm, soft." Ray laughed while taking a hold of my hand, kissing the fingertips gently.

"Hey, Gerard? Frank and I thought about ordering a pizza. Do you guys wanna join?" My stomach started to growl by the mention of some food.

"Wow, yeah! I'm really hungry, are you Ray?"

"Pizza sounds great!" His look said everything, the brown in his eyes brighten up a bit. I smiled and started to get up, limbs stiff from sitting all day.

"Pizza it is."


	29. Nameless fear

**Chapter twenty eight – Nameless fear**

**Gerard's POV**

Chemo was tough, but what could you expect? A war between life and death are devastating and it broke me into a thousand pieces.

But it's working. Slowly, but steady, the cancer cells are disappearing. But he is tired, feeling the strength fade away for each day. Even though he tried to smile, keeping his hopes up, it was easy with so much support from family, friends and the hospital. Everyone was positive from the chemotherapy, but he was still going to die. They could just postpone it a few months, even years from the treatment. And I was happy, it meant more time with my loved ones.

It feels good to look at Mikey and Frank. They are really good for each other, pulling the other one up when one of them are falling. I know that Frank is still in the morning proses after the loss of his parents, and with Mikey still having a hard time with his PTSD, I knew we were all kind of fucked up. But who cares? I know I don't.

Ray was still a pixel in the picture, and I had grown to really like him. Almost fallen in love. And it felt fucking amazing. Ray is a kind person, and I had nicknamed him my bear.

He worked as a music teacher at the local school, leaving him with weird working hours. Usually involving around 9 am till 16 pm, but sometimes he had to work at home with everything form planning the class till putting grades on papers. He was a hardworking guy, which would high five his student if they improved themselves and one time he bought ice cream for the hole class because they nailed "rock around the clock".

He would come and eat lunch with me almost every day, making me feel loved by something different than brother and friend love. His hugs and kisses had me giggle and blush all so often, and I used to steal five and six kisses before he left. I was falling and falling hard. Fuck...

The hospital had gotten me a therapist to talk to, since I was going to die. I told them I didn't need one, since I had such good support from home, but they insisted, and suddenly I found myself sitting face to face with a blond, blue-eyed women called Dr. Moore, or Stephanie as I was tolled to call her. She was really nice, but I have never felt comfortable with opening up to strangers. But I couldn't be more wrong.

Her eyes never left mine, and they were almost swallowing me whole, hypnotizing me. My mouth fell open like a fish out of water, just staring at her. My body frozen and my mind just slowly going to a halt. It was almost like my soul and heart had seen the red light and decided that this was a good time to shut down. Really not cool.

But as on que she opened her mouth and asked me a simple question.

"What do you feel about dying, Gerard?" Her eyes never leaving mine, and her voice as steady as a stranded whale.

What did I think about dying?

"Fucking terrible, just so fucking unfair." I felt myself crack just a tiny bit, but I never let my breathing go out of control, so I stayed strong.

"And you are entitled to feel that, it is unfair. Nobody deserves it, but you know what? Everything that happens has got a purpose, you just" I cut her off, not looking at her, but speaking my mind.

"I just what? I just need to accept it? That I'll be dead, and nobody knows how long I have left or how I will die." Taking a deep breath, I raised my head to meet her gaze, she was still way to calm and looking straight at me, looking my eyes in a death grip and refusing to let me slip away just yet.

"I often wonder if I have done something terribly bad to deserve this. Did I do something to make Mikey's life a living hell with kidnapping and our so-called parents dumping us at the orphanage? And now I'm dying from cancer. It's like a fucking soap opera!" I laughed out loud, but stopping before she could admit me to the psych ward.

After my oh so uplifting hour with the "hypnotists", I was waiting for Ray to pick me up. I wasn't allowed to drive a car, because of a little incident a few weeks ago. Just a small seizure, not a big one, but enough to freak out everyone that was around to witness it.

So, I was currently walking around the parking lot, looking at the cars, noticing the different colors, shapes and tires. Yes, I like tires, different sizes and patterns. I've got cancer, I'm allowed to be weird. I started to get a bit cold in the chilled october air. It felt like snow was on its way. Closing my eyes and lifting my chin, I felt my head throbbing away giving me the feeling that Thor with his hammer is banging inside it. Letting out a sigh, I find a curb and sit down on the edge, having a long enough coat that I can slip it underneath my butt to sit on. The last thing I want is now cystitis from the cold ground. I grab my knees and snuggle into them, letting my chin rest on them.

"Hey, what are you doing down there! Get in the car, now!" I looked up, seeing a concerned and almost angry Ray sitting in his car. He had pulled down the window on the passenger door, having a fancy car with automatic windows. I got up, and shook my arms and legs to life. I tried not to show how cold I was when I dumped down in the seat, but Ray was a fucking mind reader, sending his concerned glances piercing through me.

"Why weren't you waiting for me inside the hospital?" He reached to turn up the heating.

"I don't like the smell and I spend more time there than anyway. I'm so sick and tired of that place." I huffed, sounding like a kid.

"So you would rather get pneumonia?" I felt like one of his students, getting a lection from a grumpy teacher.

"Yes, maybe that will kill me faster." I couldn't help it, being in therapy just got the darker out of me.

Silence filled the car, and I heard a sniffle. A chill crept down my spine, and I felt bad. Bad for letting my mood over on Ray, he didn't deserve that. I let my hand travel over to his thigh, squeezing and let my eyes find his.

"I'm so sorry, Ray. I didn't mean that. Of course I don't want to get sick and die. I'm so sorry…" Tears threatened to spill over my eyes, as I refused to blink. Ray parked the car, before he grabbed both my hands and held me tight.

"Never ever say such things again, please? I just can't stand the thought of losing you, it's way to soon. I haven't even got to know you in every way. And there are so many things I would like to share with you. I have even booked a double bed at a retirement home!"

Smiling, I locked gaze with him and leaned forward to peek his cheek.

"Why are you making me fall so fast for you?" He smirked and kissed me on my lips.

"It's just because of my Toro-charm, it's in the family."

"Oh fuck, our kids are going to be so cute." Snuggling in Ray's neck, I kissed along his collarbone making him struggling to hold back a moan.

A few minutes of kissing after, we suddenly heard high music blasting from a house.

"What the…" I looked up, and to my house.

"Is that?" Ray only nodded with big eyes almost popping out of his scull.

"Shawn Michael's music?"

With ease, we let ourselves into the house, holding our ears and trying to find the source for this noise. It didn't take us long to see.

"What the hell?" I looked over at Ray who couldn't stay up from the way he was laughing out loud. Holding onto his stomach at a crocked position.

Frank and Mikey was dancing and showing out to the blasting sound of "Sexy Boy".

_I think I'm cute._

_I know I'm sexy._

_I've got the looks,_

_That drives the girls wild_

_I've got the moves, that really move 'em._

_I send chills up._

_Up and down their spines._

Their hips shaking, and flexing their muscles, both of them looking like a pair of idiots.

"Goof balls..." I was shaking my head with a smirk forming on my lips. They were way too cute.

_I'm just a sexy boy,_

_Sexy boy_

_I'm not your boy toy,_

_Boy toy_

_I'm just a sexy boy,_

_Sexy boy_

_I'm not your boy toy,_

_Boy toy_

I almost ran over to the CD player, franticly trying to hit the stop button. When I finally did, two heads snapped my way.

"No fair! We were listening to that!" Mikey pouted.

"Listening? More like creating an earthquake with your bad "dance moves". Ray was still laughing, and sat down on the couch.

A piercing sound made it's way to my ears. Fire alarm?

"Fuck! The pizza!" Frank mad a run for it, but it was way to late. It looked almost like a black hole, making it hard to visualize what kind of toppings that was on it. Frank held it in his hands, almost crying over the state it was in.

"My masterpiece, my precious… It was the best pizza I had ever made." Mikey quickly came to the rescue, wrapping his arms around him and talking softly in his ear.

"Shh, it's ok Frankie. We can just order one."

And that we did, and we all assured Frank that his pizza was probably way better than the one we were currently eating. Frank was all smiles and totally agreed.


	30. Down Under

**Chapter twenty nine- down under**

**Gerard's POV**

"I can't do this. Please, don't make me! Please! Ray?" Gerard was in his own bubble, the only thing important right now was to not get that poison inside of him again. He couldn't handle one more round of this shit. His eyes pleaded with Ray's, who looked like he was about to break down into a pile on the floor.

"Hey Gerard, don't think about what we have to do now, just think about getting better. And this will make you better." A hand touched Gerard's shoulder lightly, and he flinched away from it. It wasn't Ray, but Dr. Santiago, and he was the one holding the needle. No way he was coming near him.

"G-Gerard?" It was Ray, slowly moving closer to his lovers side. "Please honey, just let them do this."

He didn't know why this was such a big problem, and almost letting them have his arm after he heard Ray's low and hurt voice. Gerard wanted to be here for him, and Mikey and Frank. He let Dr. Santiago grab his hand carefully, pulling it out into a stretched position.

"Breath, just breath." Gerard tried to, but the air just got trapped in his throat like a big ball. He tried not to look, but Gerard's eyes kept wandering over to his hand and the needle that almost breached the skin. Gerard pulled his hand towards himself fast and hid it under the white hospital duvet, hiding his face in the process. It felt as though Gerard's heart was jumping out of his chest, it was racing so fast. He heard a few sighs, and two hands wrapped around Gerard's skinny torso, holding him in place. The familiar fear and panic went straight to his head, making him dizzy.

"Please, let me go. Just leave me alone." The sobs that follow could break hearts, it sounded so sad and it was coming from Gerard's mouth. He was just so tired and he just knew how he would be feeling after the chemo.

His body would ache and the sickness would overwhelm him. He hated throwing up, and even though he had both Ray, Mikey and Frank with him, it just wouldn't help. They couldn't do anything about the effects of the chemo. So he was done, no more chemo. Even though it meant that the most dreadful thing would happen. He would die. Leave his loved ones behind, and just slip into darkness.

He sat like this for a few minutes, stiff from the embrace, breathing coming out in slight sobs. He heard someone entering the room, low voices talking, about what, he didn't know. The duvet worked good as a bubble keeping him from the real world. The arms were suddenly removed, and he relaxed a bit.

The door opened and closed, and he was left all by himself.

**Ray's POV **

Out in the hallway Ray was almost breaking down. How could Gerard refuse to receive help? Ray was both scared and almost angry with him. He had hoped that the hug he gave Gerard after he hid in his blanket would help him, but his heart had sunk down his chest when he felt his loved one freeze up in his embrace.

"Is that ok for you, Ray?" Eyes popping up to look at Dr. Santiago.

"I'm sorry. What where you saying?" A guy with the same coat as Dr. Santiago held his hand to Ray to shake it.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Phil Sparks. I'm a psychologist, and we were discussing Gerard's mental state,"

"He's not crazy!" Ray was furious about what the doctor said. Gerard was not crazy, he was just scared shitless and Ray had no problem understanding that. The important thing was to get Gerard his medication, and not talking about his mental state.

"Ray, we're not saying he is, we just wanna help him. Ok?" Santiago put a hand on his shoulder to calm Ray down.

"We know he's not. This is just a reaction a few cancer patients gets when all they see is just a black hole full of no hope."

"Therefor we need to get Mikey here, we want to sedate Gerard in order to give him the chemotherapy. And we would have asked you, but we need the consent from someone who is legally bonded to him." Ray nodded to Dr. Sparks.

"I'll call him for you."

"If you want to, it would have been great if you did." The doctors took a few steps back, to give him some room to make the call.

"Mhm, hello, Mikey speaking."

"Hi, it's Ray calling!" He tried to loosen up his voice, he didn't want to worry Mikey.

"What's up? Everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's… Well… Could you come to the hospital, like, now?" He scratched his head, almost getting his fingers lost in his curly hair. He quickly retrieved them, and heard Mikey's breathing speed up.

"Is he ok?"

"Yeah, totally! He's just a bit scared, and the doctors want to… Ehm…" It was tougher to explain the situation to Mikey on the phone than he thought it would be, all these emotions that he suppressed inside himself wanted to burst out. He wanted to kick and scream at that fucking disease. It was so unfair that Gerard, one of the nicest person in the world was gonna die. Santiago came over and took Ray's phone, asking silently for permission. He let it go, and felt his knees shake. Slowly, he let himself slide down to the floor. Backing up against the wall, his eyes closing with a single tear falling from the crook of his eye.

Mikey came almost running through the hall, with Frank closely behind him. Ray was still on the floor, head resting on the wall behind him. Eyes closed and his mind running wild. Mikey sank down beside him and cupped his cheeks.

"Ray, we are gonna fix this, ok?" Ray let out a soft sigh, and opened his eyes, all red from the tears that were currently drying all over his face. Mikey used his thumb to swipe some of them away, before he got up into a standing position, offering his hand to Ray.

"Come on, dude. Let's help Gerard." He smiled at him and letting Ray grab his hand to stand up.

Mikey had to sign some papers before we went into Gerard's room. Both doctors had checked on him frequently, and he was still halfway underneath his duvet, hiding from the world. It was hard knowing that we had to force him to do something he did not want to do, but all of us saw that he wasn't himself. The fear had overpowered him, it controlled him. But it was weird seeing Gerard as scared, and not like he usually was. Happy, outgoing and brave. Ray almost got a shock looking at him. It was at this moment he realized how sick Gerard had become over the past weeks. His beautiful long raven hair had started to fall off, leaving bald areas on his scull. His skin had lost its lovely olive tone, it was more yellow and looked way to big. His eyes stood out from his scull because of the weight he had lost. Gerard was never hungry, he didn't eat that much, even though they practically forced him to.

And now they were forcing him to receive treatment.

"Gerard?" Mikey's voice was strong, but soft. He wasn't as careful as we had been, walking over to the bed and pulling the covers away from him. Gerard tried to flinch away from him, eyes scared and scanning the room. There were Mikey, Frank and I there, together with Santiago and Sparks, but also two male nurses. He was suspicious, and he had all the right to be.

Grabbing his wrists, Mikey pulled Gerard into a hug.

"Hey, Gee. Don't look at them, I'm right here. Remember that time when we were kids, when you dared me to eat that worm and I did? Remember what you told me?" He smiled at Gerard, encourage him to not think about the people around them.

"I… Ehm… Told you that you would grow really tall…" I saw a familiar smirk spread across his lips.

"Yeah, that's right!" Mikey smiled back, eyes shining by the memory.

"And it totally worked." He smirked up at Mikey now, focusing on him.

"So, let us help you get better so you can do more awesome, but disgusting things to your favorite little brother." The smirk was gone with the words from Mikey. But he seemed to think about it for a minute.

"I don't like needles, and I hate feeling sick." Santiago dared to go into the conversation.

"It's just a little poke, and I know you are gonna feel a bit sick after you the chemo, but in the long end you'll feel so much better."

"Ok."

Even though he had said ok, Ray was still on the edge when Santiago prepared everything over again. And Ray had good reason to. He freaked out again, loosing it when he saw the needle.

"No no no, I take it back. No, don't wanna. Please, no! Ray, help me out of here."

"Shh, baby. It's ok. I've got you." Ray sat on the bed, holding him tight, arms locked so he couldn't move. He knew what was coming now, just some medication and he will be sleeping like a baby and Santiago could give him the chemo. Luckily he didn't realize what was coming until he saw the single shot, and not the cannula with the tube.

"What? This is wrong. Ray, what's going on?" His eyes grew bigger when Santiago positioned himself on the other side if the bed, lifting the t-shirt a bit so he could get access to his bicep.

"You are gonna sleep a bit, we don't wanna stress you anymore."

"Fuck this, no! Let me go! I don't want this." Trying to move his arms, Ray had to use all of my strength to hold him still so Santiago could poke him with the needle.

"Ray, let me go. Please, I don't want this. Ray?" Ray kept telling myself that they did this for his own good. Feeling him squirm, Ray held him even tighter when Santiago injected the medication.

"No no no. Ouch… No, please." He was crying like a little boy after his mom had left him in the kindergarten. I had to let out a shaky breath. This was the hardest day of my life. Gerard was still all stiff even though the needle was long out.

"Why are you doing this to me? I don't want this anymore, I just wanna die." That there broke Ray's heart into a thousand pieces.

"Gee, you don't mean that." Mikey stated. Gerard was trembling in my arms, and I knew he wasn't himself. The Gerard I knew would never say something like that, he would never give up. He would fight till the end of everything.

Ray took a deep breath and held onto his love, and he could soon feel his body starting to slip into unconsciousness. But it didn't stop him from arguing with Mikey.

"Yes, I do. Why can't you just put me down like veterinarians do with hurt and sick animals? Isn't that the most humane thing to do?" He was still babbling when the medication took full effect and his eyes slipped shut. I held him till he was breathing deep and slightly snoring.

"I think he is out of it now." Santiago nodded in agreement and started the chemo, with Gerard still in my arms.

"Fuck…" Mikey was holding onto Frank, searching for comfort, which Frank gave from the bottom of his heart.

After about 3 ½ hours, Gerard was done with the chemo, and now we were just waiting for him to wake up. Ray had been holding him for the first hour, but soon found himself in need for taking a leak. He carefully slipped out of bed, and ruffled Frank's hair when he went past the chair him and Mikey were sharing. A bright blue armchair with soft pillows, it really stood out in the room, as it was the only thing with colors.

"Just need to use the bathroom." Ray whispered to not wake Mikey up, who was currently spread all over Frank in a deep sleep.

"Ok, I don't think we'll be going anywhere soon." Smiling down at his boyfriend, he stroked his hair away from his eyes.

A few minutes later, he was standing and looking down at Gerard who was about to wake up from his sleep. Just when Ray was turning around to ask Santiago a question, a soft moan came from the bed. And it wasn't a moan out of pleasure, more from agony.

"Hey Gerard…" Ray slipped between the covers, taking a hold of Gerard. He wanted to be close to him, comfort him as much as he could.

"Ray? It hurts so much, I can't even breathe."

"I know baby, but it's gonna be ok. I've got you now, just try and relax. Ok?" Gerard nodded and relaxed into Ray's body a bit, at least he was trying now, Ray thought.

Ray was just really happy that they had managed to get Gerard through this trial. Just one more obstacle they had to climb.


	31. Home is where I belong

**Chapter thirty - Home is were I belong**

**Gerard's POV**

"Oh my god…" Gerard felt like shit, and even though he tried to roll around in the hospital bed, it didn't get any better. He hugged his stomach, hoping that he didn't need to throw up anytime soon. He wouldn't make it too the bathroom on his shaky legs. He opened his eyes, and saw the big needle sticking out from underneath his skin.

"Oh god!" He groaned, and quickly closed his eyes again. Gerard tried to calm his breath, in through his noise and out his mouth. It helped for a while, and that was all he needed before he heard the door open.

"Please, get this needle out of me?" He pleaded, peeking through his lashes, trying not to look at the needle again. He smiled when he saw Ray, and he knew that his savior was here. He was so going home.

**Ray's POV**

He was so nervous, what if Gerard was pissed at him for tricking him into doing something de didn't want to do? He had a brief conversation with Santiago before entering Gerard's room. The doctor smiled and said that he could go home in 30 minutes. Ray was glad that he could bring him home, and even gladder that there was three days until the next chemo.

He signed with happiness when he saw Gerard in the bed, and heard his silent plea. It didn't sound like he was mad at him.

"Hey sweetie," Ray moved closer, wanting and needing to touch his boyfriend, "the doctor said that I could take you home in 30 minutes. How does that sound like? We can get whatever you want to eat and just cuddle on the couch for the rest of the afternoon and evening." Gerard looked at him through his hazel, almost filthy green eyes and nodded furiously. Ray slipped into his embrace when he held his arms out towards me. It felt so good and safe.

They sat like that for what felt like seconds, but had to be almost 30 minutes, since Santiago came in ready to discharge Gerard.

"Ready to go home for the day?" Ray broke away from Gerard's embrace, and stared at him intensely. He looked pale, and like he was going to throw up.

"I have prescribed pills for you, to help with the discomfort and the nausea." He sat the red and round box down on the small table and came towards them.

"So, I'll just take out the needle, and then you're free." He smiled down at Gerard, and put the bandage and the cotton ball down on the big trolley he had brought. It was full of different equipment, Ray saw everything from syringes, to butterfly needles and tubes sticking out from it. Gerard was also very suspicious towards it, and made it clear that he was not to poke any further this time.

After being promised that Santiago was just going to remove the needle, he reluctantly gave his hand away.

"Hold me?" He smiled innocent up at Ray.

"Of course, baby. I will never let you go."

They got some pizza from the local Italian restaurant, and after Gerard called Mikey, who was with his band practicing, decided on ham and cheese. Simple, but perfect. They liked to drop the meat if Frank was home.

Gerard was staring out the window, and Ray worried if something was wrong. He wish that he had never asked him, when he got the answer.

"I was just thinking about my funeral, and that I should start to plan it now. I don't know when I'll be gone, and I want everything to be fixed before I go." Ray's chest hurt and it got hard to breath.

"Please, don't talk about that now. I don't wanna think about it right now."

"You asked." Gerard said, looking briefly at Ray.

"Yes, and I'm really sorry I did. I don't wanna think about the day that you're not with me anymore. And you can't think like that, you wanna be strong, and not thinking about death."

"Mas fuerte que la muerte." Ray heard Gerard mumble.

"What?" Gerard had to repeat himself.

"Mas fuerte que la muerte." He smiled at Ray. "Stronger than death." Ray smiled back and nodded.

They had a quiet night in, watching Friday night smackdown and cuddling on the couch. They were watching Die Hard, and Bruce Willis had just done a series of hardcore stunts, when Gerard suddenly burst into laughter. Ray looked at him with a curious expression.

"What?" Gerard had to take a deep breath before he could answer.

"We seem so fucking normal right now, you know? And it's fucking funny because we're not!" He looked really amused and Ray couldn't help but smile at Gerard's words. He just shook his head and sighed, before he leaned down and brushed his lips over his boyfriends.

"Now, we're not. You're special, so fucking special you know, and I'm just this random dude that helped you out on this parking lot. And I'm so glad I did, you're amazing and everything I could have asked for. I… Love you so much, and I will never leave you." Ray had to take a deep breath. It was so unfair, Gerard was the most amazing and gentle person in the world, why this was happening to him, felt so unbearable to Ray. Looking Gerard into his eyes, he saw nothing more than tiredness, but also love and care. Not just for Ray, but also for Mikey and Frank, and all the people he met. Ray hadn't talked to a nurse or a doctor that didn't like Gerard.

"Why do bad things happen to good people," he sighed and pulled Gerard close to him, letting his small back rest against his broad chest. Gerard smiled softly, and shook his head, yawning.

"I don't know, I probably did something to deserve it," shrugging his shoulder, Gerard closed his eyes and sighed gently.

"No my love, this is something bigger than we could ever imagine. You are needed somewhere that I can't go with you. But please, just fight. For me? And for Mikey and Frank? We are gonna be selfish and want you here with us," Ray had to bite his lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out from his eyes, and he wrapped Gerard in his arms, holding onto him for dear life.

"I love you so much." He could feel Gerard smile, half asleep.

"I love you too, baby, you're so perfect. Thank you for being here," he yawned again, and Ray could feel his body go limp in his arms, he knew that Gerard needed sleep, but it was always that fear, what if he didn't wake up again? But he couldn't think like that, he had to be strong and be there for his boyfriend. Support him and do what was needed. Ray smiled softly down at him, and pushed away some strands of hair from Gerard's forehead.

"Sleep babe, I'll be here when you wake up. I'll always be here for you," he didn't get an answer, but the way Gerard curled up in his arms and cling to him, gave him more answers than he would ever need.

Letting his mind wonder, he thought about what he had before he met Gerard. He had everything that he thought he had wanted. A great job, a nice flat, a good car and he were carefree. After he met Gerard, he had gotten so much fear. Fear off losing Gerard. And it hurt him every day, sometimes on the edge to be unbearable. But he had never thought of leaving, because he had also gotten love, and happiness and so much good memories. And even though he knew that he would probably lose Gerard soon, he had never regretted one bit that he helped him that day.

Because he had gotten so much love from him, to last the rest of his life.


End file.
